What do you consider worse? Cheating with the opposite sex or same sex?

[YappyQueen]

Curious to hear others opinions on this. Some people seem to think the latter is not as bad.

ps. Not cheating or planning to cheat. Just want to hear opinions

Opposite would be more upsetting

Both as bad.

What would you consider to be cheating?

He probable never fancied you and lied about his sexuality.

Double lie?

Not sure what this thread is getting at?

What is cheating? Youre talking about men playing about with other men.

when women do that it’s usually gratuitous so not sure why her boyfriend was annoyed especially as he was there and so it wasn’t in secret. Probably why the other boyfriend ignored it.

pretty sure this thread will get taken down for inciting homophobia which it possibly could do.

Cheating is cheating. The equipment in their pants is irrelevant.

I'd hate if DH cheated with a man, because it would mean that I didn't really 'know' him, iyswim. I wouldn't be too bothered if he shagged another woman.

He couldn't care less how many women I snog (I'm totally straight btw, except when I'm drunk 🤣), but he'd go nuts if I touched another man.

Not sure that helps much!

There’s additional deception if I found out my husband was cheating and gay because I was informed he was straight. It would feel worse for that reason.

@NotYourHolidayDick you wouldnt care if DH shagged another woman?!

I think you’ve misinterpreted. My point was that if people think it’s any worse/better to cheat with the same sex, what does it say about how they feel about same-sex relationships in general. Are they not as important as opposite-sex relationships if the cheating would be less hurtful 🤷🏼‍♀️

Hence my comment about how heterosexual men would respond to this question. Many men (and women, considering how many drunk women I’ve seen snogging their female mates on nights out) would say that isn’t ‘as bad’ as cheating with a man.

I wasn’t accusing anyone here of homophobia.

And just as I was typing this, a comment proving my point appeared above 😂

Probably because he's one of a type of men who doesn't see female same sex attraction as a thing. There's plenty out there who see it as something women perform for men's titillation (which is sometimes the case tbh with this type of dance floor carry on between heterosexual women conscious of their male audience) or that women only resort to if there's no men around. He no doubt felt unthreatened by it due to his belief that as a man he would offer his girlfriend something superior to anything she got from the other woman.

For me there would be no difference, its cheating and a fatal breech of trust. I remember there used to be this kind of myth that men wouldn't mind their female partner having sex with a woman, that it would be a turn on but I've known a few women who did cheat with other women and their male partners / husbands left them when they found out.

My point was that if people think it’s any worse/better to cheat with the same sex, what does it say about how they feel about same-sex relationships in general says absolutely nothing about them, I have no interest in anyone else’s sexual preferences. Just like I wouldn’t expect a lesbian woman to be happy to date a bi sexual woman- I don’t want to date bi sexual men. You can discriminate when it comes to who you engage in a sexual relationship with.

Ahhhh, good old 'dancefloor lesbians'.

I wouldn't personally love watching my (male) partner grind away on anyone but I think there's a lot of men out there who like the lesbian threesome idea, and a lot of these drunk faux lesbians who play up to it on club floors. Looks like your friend might have misjudged her current guy though.

Okay you’ve misunderstood again, and I can’t be arsed to explain it to you. Read the posts about dancefloor lesbians, they seem to have understood my point just fine.

Well if my hypothetical DH had a hypothetical bump n grind with a woman I'd feel cheated, but if he did it with a man I'd just be confused and conversations would need to be had. Though if I was drunk I'd be more inclined to tell him to bring his new man friend home with us!

Tbf my friend’s boyfriend is the jealous type. He gives off that vibe. Maybe couldn’t stand someone else dancing with her that wasn’t him.

I somehow feel cheating with the opposite sex is worse, I think because if my dh was cheating on me with another man I would feel like well it's nothing I could of done, I'm obviously just not his type anymore where if he was cheating with another woman it's almost like the woman I am wasn't enough for him

I'd be more hurt if he cheated with a woman than with a man, but I have no idea why I feel that way!

Having been in the unenviable position of experiencing both types of cheating; I can categorically state that same sex cheating absolutely was in a different league. It messed with every aspect of my mental health. It made me question my judgement and why was I chosen to be this person's beard.

In theory I would say it would be the same, but I would imagine if your partner cheated with a different sex to you then that would add confustion and pain and would make you question your whole relationship.

If I knew my partner was bisexual, I’d think both were the same (and a relationship ender).

If I was under the impression he was straight, I’d be doubly pissed off he’d lied about that too.

Makes no difference. It’s all cheating.