to feel this way towards my own child?!

[flaope]

Ds is 21 months. I spend one day a week with him and work four days. I am a single parent but he does see his dad most weeks. I do have the chance for a break etc. But the issue is that I am so bored.

I find it all soooo boring! And it makes me feel terrible because I know when I do sit and play he loves it but more than 20 minutes and I feel like I’m slowing losing my brain cells. I get so bored. The majority of the day is picking up mess or wiping shit off my hands or struggling into a car seat or whatever. Then I’m often attacked when trying to dress him or he’s angry about something out of the blue. I know it’s all usual toddler stuff but I find it so horrendously boring that I genuinely count down the hours :( it makes me so sad as I feel like a terrible mum. I wonder if I am doing something wrong?! I do have structure to our days together. Fresh air, park, play area, walk, soft play, meet other mums… I do things with him but it’s just so. So. So. Boring. And I don’t think other mums feel this way! Am I getting this wrong and damaging him? I don’t want him to sense how bored and fed up I am.

I thought it was just me that felt like this!! My kids are adults now and I am a granny. I love my grandchildren more than life itself but jesus its hard to keep them entertained. Plus I don't have the stamina I had 30 years ago.
I imagined myself as one those serene "mother earth" type mums spending all day painting pots and baking home made bread with their children, wandering off to feed the ducks etc.
Instead I just stuck the telly on (no screens back then) tipped the toybox out and refereed when they were trying to kill each other 🤣🤣

Two options, can you put him into nursery for the 5th day? I was a sahm but Ds1 went to nursery one day a week to give me a break.

Option two, put an ear bud in just on ear, play music/podcast/radio so you at least feel connected to something other than playing with your child. It may help you.

It does not make you a bad parent to feel this way. It is absolutely relentless and not everyone is cut out to do it day in day out, just like factory work where you do the same repetitive movement for 8 hours a day, some people like it or tolerate it for others they would go insane. Do what is best for you as the Mum and don't feel bad about it.

It was boring for me until my son turned three. His speech is now excellent so we can have a conversation and he can play card games and board games and do jigsaws which is vastly preferable to make believe play for me 💪🏻

How old are you?

What interests do you have? Can you introduce him to them? At that age I feel like interaction is the most important part. Most children don't care what the attention is for. When I was a nanny I got the 2 year old involved in preparing meals because I loved cooking and teaching him about ingredients. There were a few disasters (things like smashing an egg to pieces or throwing half a bag of flour into a bowl) but I expected them all and took it all with good humour. His dad was very into art history and one day we wandered into a Picasso museum. I walked in with him in his buggy and he recognised a painting and called out "La dame qui pleur" when he spotted the painting. It amused everyone who heard him but to be honest, he probably didn't care about the painting, he just recognised it because his dad had a book of paintings he spoke to him about. He was beaming at the attention anyway.

I felt the same way, I needed the structure to get through a whole day. I did cheat - I wore headphones and listened to music, podcasts, audible etc this really helped and was screen free, usually just one ear at a time. Also watching my tv programs, something I would choose to watch for an hour whilst we sat on the floor and did messy play, helped. You are allowed to do things for you.