To think they should let her take part?

[UndertheCedartree]

This has made me so angry/upset. So just looking for a reality check before I say anything.

My DD is in Y7. She has ASD and has struggled to settle in. Due to her anxiety and illness (she had Long COVID and since that is so prone to illness and post viral fatigue.) her attendance is low.

I had lots of problems with the HOY not wanting to make reasonable adjustments for her. Things were getting worse and worse. He stopped her going on a trip due to her ASD. She has felt so left out and very sad. Since I complained he's been out of the picture and things have improved.

Recently, we were asked to give permission for our DC to show families around at the open evening. I talked to my DD about it and she was quite anxious about it but after some thought was keen to do it. This is massive for her - she often finds it hard to join in. I spoke to her Learning Mentor and said I really think this could increase her self esteem and help her feel she was part of the school. She agreed.

Anyway, I heard nothing so chased it up with her Learning mentor. Apparently the HOY has said she can stay in the library with the SEN team and 'show people around the library'. DD is crushed. She's feeling left out once again. The knock on effect is it will now be harder to get her into school. I just don't understand why they would do this if they apparently want her attendance to be better and they want her happier at school? This would have had such a positive effect!

But DC with ASD are all different. You can't just exclude them from everything just because they have ASD.

A confident partner just to give DD a few minutes to get into the swing of things and then she'd be away. They wouldn't be responsible for her.

But that's the point. They are meant to give real thought to everything to include all children. That's the equality act. But the default seems to be ASD child = exclude for this HOY.

If you were a parent attending an open day and one of the pair of students showing you around was silent or had a meltdown what impression would that give you of the school?

I think they are trying to do what is best for your daughter and the school.

My DD wouldn't be silent or have a meltdown.

I can't believe so many people think it's fine to exclude a DC just because they have ASD. This is against the Equality Act.

And what impression would it give me of the school? That they're inclusive which would be a massive positive for many, many parents.

I dont think they are excluding her. I think they are making adjustments to include her. if she was able to do everything a NT student could do, she wouldn't have ASD would she

You've said yourself DD was anxious and you talked it through. Maybe school see a different DD, one who is still anxious and they are trying to support and include her.

Encourage her to do the open evening and by September it'll be a new HOY.

This isn't the hill to die on especially when you have another complaint about the trip.

I’m very surprised she wasn’t allowed on the trip because of her SEN, however it wouldn’t have been the HOY decision, that would have been higher up. As teachers we have no control over who the LSAs go to support (SEN lead) and if there are exams happening that does priority.

Yes, but this is something she can do.

Her learning mentor said it would be good for her self esteem. She also said DD did a great job showing her around the school and that she thinks she can do it.

No, it was the HOY. Unless someone else is lying. The school is denying he told me she couldn't go on the trip due to an LSA not being available. However, I have it in an email and in the minutes of a meeting. He also said it in front of other staff. I asked the LSA to clarify the situation in a meeting last week and she said exactly what was said.

Update I spoke to the headteacher about the situation this morning. She feels DD should be included and has told the HOY that she can be one of the guides.

When I was in y7 the library was my favourite place! There were loads of interesting books on stuff like fashion and makeup that I didn't have access to at home. There were computers there and you could do mocked up newspapers and write articles and they had microfiche! This was the late 80s. Lol
I would have been really happy to be in charge of the library tour. Most of the rest of the school is probably just boring classrooms, many of which your daughter might not even have used or visited herself yet.
Could she do some research about a topic she likes and incorporate that into the tour, I found these things here and here and I made this on the computer over here etc.
I'd try and make the most of the opportunity. It could be great for her and her confidence. Can she work with another friend with SEN (or not of course) if they do it in pairs?

They've probably put her in the library for one of two reasons. One is that they think she might be particularly helpful there. The other is that they're worried she might not cope with the general showing around (they were perhaps surprised that she volunteered). If she couldn't go on a trip without an LSA, it's possible they think there should be one on hand, and she can't really have one trailing round with her on the tour.

I think there are two approaches you could take. One is to contact the HoY and say "she was actually really keen to do the showing round, and I think she can do it - she's really disappointed you've allocated her to the library and thinks you don't think she can - I wonder whether a swap is possible" (or you could ask the learning mentor to do this). The other is to to say to your daughter that they probably think she'd be particularly good in the library, and she'll get to meet all the parents, and help her think about what she might say. She could be pro-active: "Hello Millie, do you want to take a couple of minutes off while I tell your guests about the library."

I think if I was the HoY I'd look to see whether any of those coming to the open day have ASD, and perhaps get her to take them round. Even without disclosing anything, the parents may deduce, and would probably understand if she struggled with the task - and be pleased to see that she was given the chance.

As a side note, every secondary school I visited had people - students and teachers - specifically in the library.

Visiting families were stopping for some time and asking lots of questions.

No one seemed miffed to have been allocated "the library".

Fantastic news OP! Some of the comments here are ableist and discriminationatory under the guise of being 'caring' and making adjustments (that you and your DD did not ask for).
Also, any pupil could have a meltdown or find the role overwhelming, not just those that are ND. Every pupil should have the same opportunities to participate.

making adjustments (that you and your DD did not ask for)

Adjustments are not made just because parents or child ask for them, don't be ridiculous. Adjustments are made when they are needed, or they should when the schools are able to.

Schools have a legal obligation under the Equality Act to support pupils who are disabled with reasonable adjustments.
A school must not discriminate against a disabled pupil because of something that is a consequence of their disability.

Part of the Equality Act is about having the right to request adjustments. It is not about some staff member deciding the OP's DD isn't up to it and relegating her a non-role that does not exist for any other pupil.

I would posit that you sound rather ridiculous and uninformed.

There is no separate 'library tour' the guides will show their families round there. My DD loves reading but there's still only books and computers in there.

There's lots of places to show on the tour with activities too. There's a massive sports hall and gym, tennis courts, a performing arts centre, a garden, a chapel, the Art studios are amazing. They have reading areas, a wellbeing room, learning support centre. She's been at the school almost a year now so has been everywhere - they wouldn't be very good guides otherwise!

Yes, that would be good but I don't think anyone would be aware of the SEN status of any of the visitors.

DD like all Y7s was invited to take families around the school. DD accepted that invitation. All her friends parents were sent a letter about it except DD. It was only after I chased it up twice that eventually she was 'allocated the library'.

Thank you, I agree. The headteacher felt the potential positives outweighed the potential negatives.

It is sad to see so many people thinking just because a DC has ASD they couldn't possibly show families round the school!

To be honest, yes most happen on my request. But as you say they should be made when they are needed but in this situation they were not needed.

Exactly.