To feel embarrassed no one responds to my WhatsApp?

[Aninyymous]

I’m starting to get paranoid now. I’ve been in this group chat for 2 years for my sons class and it seems 90% of the time my questions are ignored whereas the annoying mums questions everyone rushes to respond to. I never ask anything that I cannot find out from emails etc. but I seem to not get any responses. Am I bu to feel embarrassed they don’t respond to me? A few times some of the mums I’m friendly with will directly message me but looking at the class WhatsApp it always looks like my questions are ignored which I find really cringey! I’m okay once someone else posts something as my message is gone from the recent one. I just always think I’m not going to post etc. but I regret as soon as I do. Any advice?

If it's something that isn't in emails maybe they don't know the answer or aren't confident in committing to an answer hence the private messages?

Stop posting on the group! Better still leave the group. So glad this nonsense wasn't around when mine were in primary school. Release yourself from the drama you will feel so much better for it.

You sound like me! So at least you're not alone. It often feels like I'm invisible 😅

Just replying so you get a response to this at least 😂

Can't help you otherwise, sounds quite cliquey. Do the annoying mums have more popular kids or something and people feel they must respond?

They could have the same question and cant find an answer and dont want to respond with an answer that they arent sure of themselves.

Also some people mute group chats as they find the constant alerts annoying.

Yes, that’s how I’d read it.

Yes would put you off posting! Not nice. Sometimes I just ask another mum. I hate these group apps.

Maybe try and ask an obvious question and see what they do. I think like pps have said- they probably don’t know the answer or aren’t totally sure

They probably don't know the answer.

I'm sure if you volunteer to do the whip round for the teacher's end of year pressies they will respond to you.

Thank you all. But for other mums they respond “Not really sure” or something along those lines or a confused emoji but I get nothing on there! That’s funny someone used the word “cliquey” as my sons year group when I mentioned to someone else what year he was in when chatting they used this word and said that year group is well known for being like that, so I think others must also feel the same. I hate that I try to be nice and occasionally others messages are ignored but I always respond if no one else has as I feel bad for them!

I hate those what's app groups with a passion. In all the years, there's never been anything interesting on them or something that hasn't already been communicated by school or mostly - nothing to do with the parents anyway - no I'm not struggling with getting everything chopped for food tech because it's the kids bloody job and I'm not involved...ahhhh..drives me batty.

Anyway, op, I'm afraid if your comments are being ignored, it might be best learning from that and not post similar again to save yourself the worry.

Is there a pattern to what time/what day you/they post?
In some groups that makes a big difference to whether a message is read and responded to, or just ignored with a "can't deal with that RN"

I think WhatsApp groups - like any group - can be cliquey. I’m part of a residents group on my road and the “popular” couples - who appear to be more sociable/visible - definitely get more responses, but they also post and respond more, so maybe others consider them the leaders? I quite enjoy silently quitting WhatsApp groups - there are too many of them!

“I never ask anything that I cannot find out from emails etc.”

Does that mean school sends out the info by email and you want to double check or a reminder on something in the group?

Yeh they’re a cliquey bunch by the sounds of it. You know that though.

Stop posting and either mute or come out altogether xx

I don't know how you have the time to notice. I think most people ignore the school WhatsApp chat at least 50% of the time.

Funny enough the mute option has disappeared in my WhatsApp! It’s usually there. Anyone else got sane issue or maybe just my phone?

It's definitely cliquey mums OP, I gave up asking a long time ago in my eldest child's class. The same cliquey mums always go on the school trips too.

My youngest child's class couldn't be more different thankfully.

What sort of things are you asking?

Don't worry OP, no one responds to what I post in the mums WhatsApp group chat either 😂

I've taken a back seat and stopped trying to be overly friendly, I'd recommend it.

@arethereanyleftatall I’ll go into it and take some screenshots of my questions. I can’t face it right now. Or just copy them. I’ve archived the chat and don’t want to go on there.

I know it’s not me as I’m on other chats and I never feel like this. I’m in my residents chat, I’m on my daughters class one, their activities and one for my hobbies. I’m not posting weird or silly messages as I would feel same in all chats then wouldn’t I? It’s just this specific one. Even in RL some of them are so bitchy and sour looking. I’ve stopped saying hello to most of them and just talk to the few friendly smiley ones.

Maybe they're fed up of you asking about things that you've already been emailed about?

Or do you mean you never ask anything that you can find out from an email?

@niadainud the second one.

I'd have been a paranoid wreck if WhatsApp was around when my kids were in school. I hate my work what's app, but it's deemed necessary.