To feel embarrassed no one responds to my WhatsApp?

[Aninyymous]

I’m starting to get paranoid now. I’ve been in this group chat for 2 years for my sons class and it seems 90% of the time my questions are ignored whereas the annoying mums questions everyone rushes to respond to. I never ask anything that I cannot find out from emails etc. but I seem to not get any responses. Am I bu to feel embarrassed they don’t respond to me? A few times some of the mums I’m friendly with will directly message me but looking at the class WhatsApp it always looks like my questions are ignored which I find really cringey! I’m okay once someone else posts something as my message is gone from the recent one. I just always think I’m not going to post etc. but I regret as soon as I do. Any advice?

This has happened to me tonight too. It’s just cliquey mums who like to gush over each other! I was only asking a question because the teachers I emailed haven’t responded either. Maybe I am invisible? 🤣

“whereas the annoying mums questions everyone rushes to respond to”… maybe they can sense your disdain for them. Do you offer answers when other people ask questions that you know?

She's said she responds when no one else does because she feels bad for them which is nice imo

No, it's absolutely not you! Either people are too tired/busy to reply unless it directly affects them or there are so many WhatsApp groups things genuinely get lost. I found that there's always a couple of people (queen bees, yiu know the ones) who have people jumping to respond. But definitely don't take it personally.

It’s like the ‘cool’ girls bunching together in the playground way way back, it simply continues. Then you’ve got the sycophants who desperately want to be a member of the ‘in’ group. So so glad my age precludes all this nonsense. But yes, I can see exclusion hurts, how to stop all this cliquey rubbish, and it is nonsense, as before long the ‘in’s’ are falling out with each other! Disengage from the group.

I honestly wouldn’t want to be with a group like that, where my self-esteem was battered every time I posted.
Nothing is worth lowering yourself so much to get others’ approval - others who don’t matter in the larger scheme of things.
I’d leave and wouldn’t think another thing about it.

Do you respond regularly to others in the group or join in any banter?

I think people who largely don't interact except for asking questions don't tend to get as much response maybe because other me.bers of the group aren't as invested in answering. I'm not say that's great behaviour but it might explain it.

There is one mum on the class WhatsApp I never respond to, largely because within the first few weeks of term she outed herself as an aggressive anti vaxxer swore at other parents and since then called another (lovely very quiet) parent a cunt in the playground, rammed a mum on crutches in the back of her ankles with her buggy and told her to hurry up, and went on the WhatsApp group demanding contact details for the parents of a five year old in another class who is apparently a little bitch who needs to be told. She's a real problem.

Everyone else is nice. If it wasn't for her I would've been sceptical about the hell of class WhatsApp groups. I have it muted now.

Thank you all. I still keep thinking about it! My sons concert is today and I just feel like blanking them, I know I won’t as I’m too bloody polite and cowardly. It’s so rude. They’ve just been commenting on a non important thing on the main WhatsApp (we have one for whole year group and then individual classes).

I trired to avoid these as gushing enthusiaim is not my way however ended up in a hobby one - I'm surprised we aren't all millionaires as everything produced is stunning, beautiful or heart heart heart Grrrrrrr and my posts are largely ignored.

We had class email when my DCs were at primary (in secondary it was FB year groups). Seems like the mums are cliquey though - I was a class rep a few times when I wasn’t working and people responded to me - but I wasn’t in a ‘clique’.
On email you always had the typical ‘is it inset day tmw’ and so on but someone always responded.
I’d just not bother posting on it and just message a mum friend instead.,

Thank you. Yes I can’t believe how Immature they are. They know it’s awkward to not get a response. I’m just going to message s few I know now.

I hate those groups and I always used to mute them so problems wouldn’t see a question of it was me. That being said there was one mum who used to ask the most obvious questions like is it mufti day on Friday - just read the newsletter that goes out every Friday or check class dojo or Facebook, it’s not hard