My husband and I have 2 baby girls together, a 2yo and a 2mo. Before getting pregnant with our first, I was in nursing school. Took a break until I felt confident enough to be able to balance motherhood, family, working, and nursing school all together.
We rely on his mom and sister for childcare. Not long after having our first, I got a management job offer - I talked it over with everyone to see if the hours required would work with everyone else's schedules. We made it work, the only thing is, I had agreed to pick up his mom from work in the mornings (7am) and/or dropping her off (3pm or 11pm) along with working my regular work schedule, being a present mom to my own kids, and trying to get our own household chores done. My husband works a regular 9-5 Mon-Fri.
I left the manager position after 1 year, and am now back to a schedule that is subject to change from week to week in order for me to meet my needed number of hours per week. I am still able to pick up his mom from work most mornings, but I am unable to drop her off.
Now that we have 2 babies, I'm unable to work early mornings or nights because that leaves DH alone with both of them until his mom/sister can watch them.
*he claims he can't get her in the morning because he'll be too tired at work (despite the fact that there are days where I pick her up and then go to work right after)
*he says he needs 1hr after work everyday to decompress from "dealing with idiots all day long"
*he needs Saturdays to himself to decompress after the work week of working 5 days straight (I don't work Tuesdays to make sure I can bring the kids to doctor's appointments and myself, I don't work Saturdays so he's able to get his free time)
I've been looking around for a new job that pays more so I can hopefully work less hours and make roughly the same amount I do now, but the only jobs where I can do that and still have a reasonable work/life balance are outside of his mom's work schedule, which wouldn't work with our childcare situation.
My issue is:
*everyone wants me to go back and finish nursing school, but my limitations make it practically impossible
**more than likely I'd be working early mornings and then going to school into late at night without much time to spend with my kids or do anything at home
**I have told my husband multiple times I can't work full time, do everything at home and be there for everyone, study the way I need to, go to clinicals, and take exams successfully to pass nursing school
**I already can't work certain hours of the day due to our childcare situation, so that makes working and going to nursing school/clinicals nearly impossible
**say I do get my nursing degree, the hours that nurses work would ALL be outside of my availability because of our situation
His sister doesn't work and isn't in school. His mom works 3 doubles and a single shift almost every week. My mom can't help much because she'd be occupied with my little brother (10yo) during the hours we'd need her help. Before anything, his mom OFFERED to watch the babies, even knowing her own schedule. She preferred to watch them over us put them in daycare.
So, I'm looking for a higher paying job, but the ones that get back to me are outside of my needed availability of picking up/dropping off his mom, or do work for him. Him and his mom are adamant about me finishing nursing school, but if I follow through, it's as if neither can watch the babies while I work because my work schedule wouldn't work with theirs.
Am I missing something here?