To rest in bed while DH sorts out the unpacking

[SwordToFlamethrower]

I feel a bit guilty so let me know please!

I am currently hiding upstairs after coming home from camping late last night.

The house is upside down, laundry everywhere, crap everywhere, things to put away, hoovering and kitchen to sort out.

I've disengaged from it.

I'm the only driver and we had a 3 hour drive yesterday. I did most of the packing yesterday, packing down the tent and all while our dd1 was with me. In the time it took me to pack 75% of the car, DH did a poo and washed a saucepan.

I was so exhausted last night, I could barely speak.

Today I've tried my best but I am utterly spent. I'm touched out from nursing, I've eaten toast and one mcdonalds chicken wrap all day. No prospect of food as the kitchen is so messy. DD is acting like a newborn today and wants to nurse constantly.

I know the house won't get tidied up because dh is so incredibly slow at doing any task, so chances are, I'll have to do it all tomorrow.

Sorry you're exhausted.
Have a rest for a bit.
You might have to have words about expectations/fair share of load with DH. You also need to make sure you eat better (presuming it's not DHs fault you ate so little?).

Yes. Stay on bed but tell him to up his game and sort food and the house like a normal adult.

She's got nothing to feel guilty about.

Her H should feel guilty for taking a giant shit whilst his wife did all the work.

The least he can do is put some stuff away whilst OP rests.

“I know the house won't get tidied up because dh is so incredibly slow at doing any task, so chances are, I'll have to do it all tomorrow.”

That’s not an excuse for him to not do it, can you not ask him to hoover or tidy round or something and if it takes him hours to do it so be it, better he does it slowly thank not at all

To be fair she didn't say it was a giant 💩.
Yes, this is tongue in cheek, pardon the pun.

I think you deserve a medal for camping with a nursing baby, it's not something I would have attempted.
Dh sounds like yet another lazy arse using weaponised incompetence to get out of doing his fair share. Therefore you have nothing to feel guilty about, I think you've more than pulled your weight, and today you are feeding the baby and recovering your strength. Time to point out that feeding a baby constantly is exhausting and depletes your energy. Tell him he needs to sort out some proper food for you so that you can feed his child. It's also his job to put away the camping stuff and tidy up... while you are feeding the baby. It will affect your milk supply if you don't get enough food and rest.
Going forward, can he get driving lessons so that he can share that responsibility at least? What is he actually good for?

They were packing to leave, I imagine they had to leave the campsite by a certain time and OP wanted to set off at a reasonable time.

Why do you feel guilty that he was a lazy shit and now you're chilling? I'd leave 75% of it for him, whenever he chooses to do it.

Put a wash on and leave the rest to him. Maybe get something out of the freezer to eat later that is an easy prep job. Other than that just take it at a slower pace, anything he mentions just ask him to put it on his list today. I always feel better for putting a wash on - gets it out of the way and even tho machine doing the work it feels efficient lol

OP did the work yesterday to get home so should relax today, DH doesn't seem to be complaining and he might actually enjoy doing the work today for his wife

We had to leave the site by 6pm and this was after the closing ceremony finished at 4pm. It was a giant rush.

Dh said that he'd not been for a poo for 3 days and was desperate. I went into adhd hyperfocus and basically exhausted myself out. Then had to drive 3 hours.

Yes my marriage is happy! Dh is a slow worker.

I feel guilty because I'm not doing anything. I'm laying in bed, totally burned out but feeling like I should be sorting laundry etc

Do NOT feek guilty.

Text him that you packed it all, so he needs to unpack and tidy everything.

Dh is on the spectrum, dyspraxia and autism, (undiagnosed bc we can't afford private and can't get on the nhs wait list) he daydreams and has to think about a task before doing it, and while doing it too!

Things he is good for... he is kind, supportive, we have the same interests, enjoyable sex life, doting dad, sensitive male, funny and handsome.

I wish he took more initiative though. He never organises trips or fun things, he never thinks to buy baby things, his contributions to housework are bare minimum. Like he will stack and unload the dishwasher, but he doesn't see dirt and never actually cleans or dusts anything, so the dishes get cleaned but he doesn't clean the kitchen, he leaves rubbish and spills on countertops. His desk gets so messed up and filthy, months can go by and eventually I will cave and clean it.

Yeah. Sigh. And here I am, feeling guilty.

He has made several anguished, moaning, whimpering sounds. He sounds like Count Duckula at the end of an episode. He isn't moaning specifically at me. Just... cries of despair.

Wtf is he whimpering for?

It's all very difficult and stressful

You can’t possibly know he has those conditions if he’s undiagnosed. People can’t just diagnose themselves you know?

Why feel guilty if you need the rest? It sounds like you are wiped out. Everything can wait, its fine to do stuff at a slower pace for a few days until you are feeling more energised. Leave DH to it. I don't see why you feel guilty that he is doing his share.

We are back from camping today. DH is currently asleep. I had a nap earlier. House is chaotic. But by the end of the week all the camping gear will be back in the shed/loft and it will be back to normal. Tomorrow evening we might feel more energetic, and able to do more.

Eh? Of course you can. Mine was suspected until it was confirmed. I'm AuDHD myself, so can deffo see it in other people. Just because he is an adult, doesn't mean he can't be on the spectrum. He was also ARFID as a kid, but there was zero support for that at the time.

The shit was more pressing. The packing could have waited.