Any teachers out there with one-off childcare issues? Really need some advice please.

[flowergirl24]

My youngest daughter (aged 3) is in nursery, attached to a private school.

Term ends this Friday- at 12:30 (!) which is obviously half way through my working day.

I teach in the state sector and our agreed plan was that DH covers the 2 weeks until I break up for the holidays and then I take over for the rest of the holidays. He was happy with this (sorted ages ago)

But now he has a new client, and it’s very important to him financially that he works on Friday.

What the heck do I do now? We have no family who can help. No friends as all ours work and don’t live anywhere near our village. I’m panicking about Friday as we’ve both got to work and the nursery shuts at 12:30 (no exceptions- I’ve already asked)

Thank you for answering

So when you don't collect her from nursery, what will happen in his selfish mind?

Totally his problem to solve. His client is not as important as your daughter and job surely, but he appears to think it is!

I remember as a child having to stay in the the staff room while my mother taught.

It's totally his issue and he needs to sort it
Make it crystal clear you are not going to do something which comes under gross misconduct and risk losing your job

Local childminder, neighbour, friend's teenager?

@flowergirl24 if you've been using nursery for 7 years presumably you have an older child? Can any of their friends' parents help?

Your dh is a prick. Sorry

have you tried the Facebook group route yet? Ask on a local group for your area. You're asking for a childminder/nanny, but you might find a local mum sees it and volunteers. Or ask the same on a nursery parent WhatsApp if there is one. Do not call in sick.
It should be the OP's dh who sorts this but if nothing is arranged, we all know which parent the nursery will phone if no one collects the child...

I would go with asking another parent and stress the reciprocation in the summer.
I had to phone up and ask someone I had only met once if they could take my child for a couple of hours when I woke up with mastitis. I couldn’t stand up. We had just moved and my husband was working away from home. She said she didn’t mind at all as she felt she could ask in the future. We became good friends and looked after each others children all the time.

Just ask your SLT. If at all possible try and get cover sorted first so you can go with a solution rather than a problem. Seriously, it beggers belief that some school leaders can be so inflexible. No wonder teachers are leaving in droves. I have a very understanding head though who is super flexible as long as you don't take the mickey as he knows that we also put in extra when he needs us to. Our staff retention is amazing. No one wants to leave, even when they could retire!

I’d swap lessons with other colleagues in the department to see if I could wrangle Friday afternoon off. With gained time etc it’s doable. However, I’m in a big department who like each other! If it wasn’t possible, I’d let work know ASAP that I’d need cover that afternoon due to unexpected childcare needs. Then DH would owe me a massive f*cking favour for having to prioritise his career and professionalism over my own.

You shouldn't have to. It is gross misconduct. He should be sorting this out.

@flowergirl24 since it's his fuck up, at drop off he has to grovel and beg another parent For help. He is more likely to see them and know them at least to say hi. He can have that awkward conversation.

Not just that. What about all the kids who will lose out from their teacher going sick? Because her DH isn’t stepping up! Bang out of order.

Exactly. Those who think it's up to the OP's HT to be flexible or that she should ring in sick would probably be up in arms if their own children were without teachers for the afternoon. The child's father should be stepping up not leaving it to the OP to sort.

DH has an important client so has to work. I kind of get that and I get that you have to work.
2 suggestions:

1. As your arranged childcare has fallen through, it happens, emergency carer leave needed for half a day, unpaid if necessary.
2. Can your DH not have his DD with him for half a day having used his lunchtime to go get her?

Surely it's for your partner to sort as you teach and can't take time off. He will just have to move things about. Couldn't he work the morning and see client then.

It may not be the done thing but I've done it before!

I've had a couple of occasions where I've had to do this. On one occasion the school gave me the afternoon off (unpaid).

On the other occasion I swapped lessons with a colleague (I taught their Y8 class during my PPA earlier in the week) and then collected my child, then just had to teach P5 with a child in my classroom! It was fine!

Or you ask to be put on cover for all your PPAs for the rest of term?

Post on social media…my town has a babysitting facebook group . I posted on it and found childcare

failing that, bubble?

Try the teachers at school? One of them might have a DC who is just post exams (or back from uni)?

It's very simple - your husband follows through with the original plan. Bloody ridiculous he passes the buck and doesn't think figuring it out is on him,

Your husband needs to move the time of his client meeting.

Failing that you need to tell your school that unfortunately you have been let down and will need to leave at 12 (or whatever time you need) that day and could they please get cover for the PM lessons. I imagine it would be unpaid discretionary leave.

Then hubby needs a great big kick…

I had this situation and fortunately a lovely girl who babysat for us occasionally could take our DC. It sucks when you don't have other options and have to pay for childcare whilst others have family to look after them. Worst case, explain to Head. As a secondary school teacher myself it's frustrating we can't bring our DC to school for one morning as it's all just non priority education 😑

Yes, I've been in this position and needed childcare for the mornings for 2 weeks. We went to a local nanny agency in the end- it wasn't what the type of timetable or childcare cover that they usually sorted but they were happy to find us 3 possible nannies who were available to do the short term cover we needed. Pricey option but it meant we could both continue without feeling like one of our careers was taking priority over the other.

Other than that, as you're in secondary- could you send an all staff email round asking if any colleagues have a son/daughter who's just finished a levels and sitting around at home, good with kids and looking for some extra money?

We've also used the babysitting app sitters for occasional daytime sits when different schools have had different term dates or insets. Sometimes it takes a bit longer to find someone available as a lot of their babysitters also work in schools and nurseries in the daytime, but if you're in a town or city then I'd say there's a good chance of someone being available.

Argh what an absolute pain. I see that you don’t know any of the other parents to ask, this would have been my first suggestion (my children are much older now but I would definitely have helped out in this position).

Do you have parents/in laws that can help out? Maybe if they aren’t local they could have your 3 year old from the night before?

Any friends locally that have children in college? They could have finished by now so may be available to have them for you. I would ask my teenager if it were my friend.

I realise it’s your DH’s mess up and as much as he should be sorting this, he isn’t, so unfortunately you will have to.

Failing all of this, don’t call in sick. Explain to your slt/ht and tell them you will have to take a day of dependants leave. They may have a solution (bring child in/they have a known babysitter etc.)

What age do you teach? Are there any reliable older teens, e.g. doing A levels, who could help?

I used to work for sitters.co.uk when I was younger, I assume they’re still around? Can you not just book for the day with them or for nursery pick-up if they do that? It might be better for the whole day though, as you can meet them and it won’t be a stranger picking your child up, which might be unsettling.

Why is it always left to the mum to sort childcare is your job not important enough for him to rearrange his business? if not sounds like you don't have much of a choice to go off sick or unpaid leave which you are allowed to do but your school won't be happy that your child's dad cannot step up.