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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To get a different train to them?

35 replies

eatthat · 30/06/2024 12:53

Me and two friends are going to visit another friend next month and getting the train.

Theres a station near me that’s (to be specific) a 12 minute drive. One friend has suggested we drive to hers (30 minute drive) and then her drive to a different station (20 minute drive) and we all get the train together.

I do want to get the train together, but I travel so much in the week that I really begrudge unnecessary travelling on the weekend. A 22 minute round trip seems more preferable to me than an hour and 40 minute round trip.

OP posts:
jeaux90 · 30/06/2024 12:55

Yeah path of least resistance.
The other idea sounds like an uneconomic and unnecessary faff

GrumpyPanda · 30/06/2024 12:57

Reply and suggest she drive to yours instead. Unless there won't be anywhere for her to leave her car?

BlueMum16 · 30/06/2024 12:59

All go from your station?

Lmnop22 · 30/06/2024 13:00

How long is the train journey? If a long one, would be nice to travel together but why not go from yours if you’re so much closer to a station?

If a short train just meet them there!

MassiveOvaryaction · 30/06/2024 13:03

Go together from the station near you?

Or just go alone. I think that's what I'd do if they didn't want to come to your station.

Sweetvalleyhigh1234 · 30/06/2024 13:05

Op can I ask is it the same line you'll be using if so can't you all get on the relevant train at the right times so technically you'll be on the same train you just pick it up from where you are?

Arlanymor · 30/06/2024 13:08

Can they come to yours and go from yours? Or is there a way that your trains converge at the same station and you can meet on the platform and carry on the journey together?

RandomMess · 30/06/2024 13:10

Do the train routes not connect up?

YANBU

Original poster
eatthat · 30/06/2024 13:14

RandomMess · 30/06/2024 13:10

Do the train routes not connect up?

YANBU

No, I’ve just checked. I’d come into St Pancras and they’d come in to Kings Cross.

My friend who suggested to drive is just a bit bossy, and we always have to do things her way. So usually I’d follow to keep the peace. But I’m trying a new thing of just doing what works for me (within reason).

OP posts:
Original poster
eatthat · 30/06/2024 13:15

Arlanymor · 30/06/2024 13:08

Can they come to yours and go from yours? Or is there a way that your trains converge at the same station and you can meet on the platform and carry on the journey together?

Answered above just now.

They could come to mine first definitely, but friend like to be in control which is why she’s suggested the easiest thing for her to do.

OP posts:
bookish83 · 30/06/2024 13:16

I would get my own train, just meet them there as its essentially the same arrival station!

Sounds hard work and sometimes you do have to do what works best for you. Bossy friends take over!

Mrsjayy · 30/06/2024 13:16

Your explanation gave me a headache it was too much faffery! get your own train meet them there.

Arlanymor · 30/06/2024 13:16

eatthat · 30/06/2024 13:15

Answered above just now.

They could come to mine first definitely, but friend like to be in control which is why she’s suggested the easiest thing for her to do.

Show quote history

Stick to your guns then, no point wasting time and fuel when there’s an easier way.

Jamieie · 30/06/2024 13:18

You either want to get the train with them or you don't. Weigh that up, and there's your answer. It's nothing to do with who suggested what, it's to do with what you want to do.

MassiveOvaryaction · 30/06/2024 13:18

eatthat · 30/06/2024 13:14

No, I’ve just checked. I’d come into St Pancras and they’d come in to Kings Cross.

My friend who suggested to drive is just a bit bossy, and we always have to do things her way. So usually I’d follow to keep the peace. But I’m trying a new thing of just doing what works for me (within reason).

Show quote history

Good for you. Don't give in to her. Ask the other friend what she wants to do?

fleabites · 30/06/2024 13:19

Go from your station. That's far too much faff for no reason. They can come to your station if they wish or they can meet you in London.

SiobhanSharpe · 30/06/2024 13:21

'Sorry, it's just so much easier and quicker for me to go to my station, I'll meet you at the terminus. Cheers.'

Wishimaywishimight · 30/06/2024 13:25

Suggest they come to you since you are only 12 mins from the train station whereas your friend is 20? If they won't just do what suits you and meet them there.

Cherrysoup · 30/06/2024 13:27

Stick to your guns, don’t be a doormat.

TeabySea · 30/06/2024 13:29

Are you all getting on the same train line, or would you all need to take different trains to get to the same destination?
If the former, then it's just a matter of co-ordination - e.g. a text saying: Hey Jane, I'm on the 9.52 from X, which stops at Y (her station) at 10.03. I'm in the second carriage from the front.
If the latter, then it's easier just to do your own thing and meet at the destination.

Sapphire387 · 30/06/2024 13:29

Totally reasonable to make your own way there. You don't need permission from her.

Hodge00079 · 30/06/2024 13:29

Think I would just get nearest train. If it was a regular thing and normally go with bossy friend's station suggest your station as alternative. Something like I know we normally go from X but Y works better for me. Perhaps we can alternate going forward.

Boxina · 30/06/2024 13:29

Wishimaywishimight · 30/06/2024 13:25

Suggest they come to you since you are only 12 mins from the train station whereas your friend is 20? If they won't just do what suits you and meet them there.

This.

"Oh it would be quicker if you came to me and we go from here, if you want to travel together. If you want to do that be at mine for x time, otherwise I'll meet you at other friends at y time. Looking forward to it!"

wibblywobblywoo · 30/06/2024 13:33

SiobhanSharpe · 30/06/2024 13:21

'Sorry, it's just so much easier and quicker for me to go to my station, I'll meet you at the terminus. Cheers.'

This is perfect, bright and breezy and gives no reason for offense to be taken - much as I would have liked you to use the word 'faffery' in your response at some point but I concede that might be seen as insulting (even though it's true). 😆

Coconutter24 · 30/06/2024 13:35

eatthat · 30/06/2024 13:15

Answered above just now.

They could come to mine first definitely, but friend like to be in control which is why she’s suggested the easiest thing for her to do.

Show quote history

What about the other friend? Have you put the option out there to both of them to drive to you?