AIBU my partner can’t verify my dad’s identity?

[Imgoingtoaskthequestion]

My parents want my Dr partner to verify my dad’s identity so he can close a bank account for a deceased family member.

I don’t live with my parents, but my partner and I have a child and a mortgage together. So surely that makes him “related” to my dad?

AIBU to say this goes against the rules of not being either related/living at same address/in a relationship?

If the Dr isn’t happy to sign I’d leave it there. There must be someone else.

Weird way of describing the OPs partner as “the doctor”.

@Imgoingtoaskthequestion just tell them your partner has had guidance training on this and they count as relatives, or ask them do they not view him as their son-in-law?

Legally speaking no, they're not related as you're not married.

But if he's not comfortable signing the forms then your parents should accept that and find someone else.

My partner is happy to sign it because he wants to be helpful and doesn’t think anyone would go to the trouble of checking because we’re not married. My argument is that because we have a child then he is related to my dad.

It doesn't really matter what your argument is, surely it's the rules that are important.

Find them out.

He's not related to your dad because you and your partner are not married.

It doesn't matter that you have a child together.

You're not married.

Even you're not related to your child's father let alone your father.

You’re not married, therefore no legal relationship exists between your partner and father.

Yes your partner can sign.

You are not married so legally unrelated

If you’re uncomfortable with the idea you’ll be breaking the rules, I would seek the answer from online resources or guidance on what counts as “related” in these circumstances. You would not be unreasonable if you voiced your concerns having established that your partner would be breaking the rules by confirming your dad’s identity.

If you’re simply uncomfortable with your partner doing it despite knowing they don’t count as relatives with the strict definition of the rules on this particular issue because you’re taking offence at them using him as an expression of their lack of consideration of him as their “family member” then that’s unreasonable.

What the government define as a relative for identity confirmation and what you and your family define as relatives may well be two different things and that’s ok!

You can only be legally related to someone by blood or marriage (or other legal arrangement like adoption), so your partner is not related to your dad. The rules are clear it is either related or living together so your DP can sign. Considering someone family is not the same as legally being related.

Legally you are not related.

Legally you're not related so use it to your advantage.

I sign all DPs family's passport applications because despite knowing them all throughout our 30+ year relationship, because we're not married, it's within the rules. I just say I'm a friend of the family.

I used my mum's partner to do this. They aren't married, we aren't related legally or biologically, we don't live together. It's fine.

Legally speaking no, they're not related as you're not married.

This - the child makes no difference here.

He is NOT LEGALLY RELATED TO YOUR DAD OR YOU!!!

This is something you may want to think about…

Check the guidance on who’s allowed to verify. There will be some. I know you’re not married but your partner has a sil relationship with your dad so it’s better to check and be clear

Why on earth would you think your partner would be related to your father?!

My DH wasn't allowed to verify DS's girlfriends passport, as they have DGD together. I personally wouldn't risk it.

I guess the difference is you are married, OP is not.

OP how do you think your partner is related to your dad?

It's different when you're married. OP isn't married to her partner so there's no legal relationship there.

But DS and his DGF aren't married, but DH wasn't allowed to verify her because they have DGD together. DS1's DGF also refused to verify her as she is a solicitor and said it is considered family as they're in a relationship.

How do you think OP's (non-married) partner is related to her dad, then?

I queried this with the passport office when my brother's long term partner asked me to sign hers, they said because they are cohabiting and have children, I couldn't sign it. (I was willing to just give it a go but she needed it back pretty quickly so we checked in case it got rejected)

I presume it would be viewed the same way DH was considered related to DS's DGF when he was told her couldn't verify her, due to her having DGD with DS. I don't make the rules 🤷‍♀️

Maybe someone was having a bad day when they declined her application with his verification 😅