Husband raging for turning off music.

[Ivyiris]

Walked into my house to blaring music/noise , kids screaming. Asked him what the noise was and he preceded to tell me 'i don't know' so I go over to the speaker and turn it off so I can hear myself think. He then screams at me calling me selfish, swearing at me, telling me he wouldn't dream of doing that to me, because I've turned off the music he was listening to even though he told me he didn't know what it was. Try to but it back on but he is raging. Aibu?

lovely
just lovely environment for children

let me guess

this marriage is otherwise a bit shit generally

poor neighbours

Leave. Won’t get better.

Ah come on, you knew the “noise” was music. Saying “what’s the noise?” Is a rhetorical question calling the music shite, not a genuine oh my what could that noise possibly be? 😇

and then you shut it off. 😬

I don't think anyone has ever screamed at me. An awful amount of people on MN seem to be screamed at.

There's no way I'd put up with being screamed at . If a grown man was screaming at me, I'd feel terrified. I wouldn't want my children subjected to a raging, screaming man. I can imagine they're also frightened.

I suggest you take your children somewhere safe, away from his raging. I can't imagine this is the first time he's screamed and raged, he's probably got form.

Unless you want to spend the rest of your life, treading on eggshells, in case he screams at you, I'd leave.

He sounds charming.

Why were the kids screaming, how old are they? Was he supposed to be caring for then and decided to ignore them with loud music instead?

By ‘noise’, I thought the OP meant the screaming children, not the music.

OP - could your H not hear the children over the music? Or did he just not care while they were screaming?

He sounds horrible. Why are you with him?

I actually agree with this.

If somebody came in and I was listening to music and playing with my cousins kids (I don't have any) I'd think they were miserable sod if they turned it off and made passive aggressive comments about it.

He wasn't hurting anybody FFS.

I bloody hate noise end of but i do have my reasons.
But op you new what the noise was bit silly to ask what it was when you knew what it was.

On the one hand, my partner often turns my music off and it mildly gives me the rage (very mildly - I just turn it back on quieter and don’t shout at him!)

But the main thing here is that he hugely overreacted and acted appallingly and like a child having a tantrum. Ick. Does he always behave like this?

this 🙄

Really?

You can’t have hatefully loud music on in a residential home - it’s antisocial. Your husband sounds like a reactive, aggressive prick OP.

as in you agree
or eye roll at the thought of poor neighbours (and mainly… poor kids) having to endure ear splitting music and a shouting couple

I think it's rude to walk into a room/house and switch the tv/music off without ssking. Yabu.

What? It’s her house too, and if the music was deafening, then of course it isn’t rude.

Your husband is screaming at you and calling you selfish, swearing at you, and you are asking if YABU?

Come on OP, surely you know this is utterly toxic behaviour?

She did ask, he said he didn't know!

@Ivyiris

i wouldn't put up with that, no one shouts at me. Nasty twat.

Sounds like he already had the arse when you walked in if he’s telling you he doesn’t know what the music is that he’s listening to.

I never tolerate anyone screaming at me.
He was a dick but instead of turning it off you could have switched it down a bit, so at least you could be heard.
Dh jokes about my 'noise', heavy metal, punk and Nirvana but I don't blast it out.
He actually likes some of it.

Was neglect of the children involved (music on so loud he wouldn’t have known what the children were doing or feeling because he couldn’t hear fhem)? Is he generally mean and selfish?

My first thought was he's turned up the music so he can't hear the kids on purpose, hence his 'I dont know' reaction to your question - guiltily pretending he doesnt know they're screaming. Then his temper tantrum was him deflecting his terrible parenting.

I wouldn't tolerate anyone screaming at me. This sets a poor example for your children... Perhaps you should have asked to turn the music lower or off? It all sounds quite volatile and shambolic.