To find I’m still left with nothing each month despite it looking good written down.

[Itgetsharder]

I’m newly separated…about 9months on my own now. I have my dc 50:50. I’m proud of what I have achieve on my own and the separation process isn’t even really started yet legally do I know there’s a long road ahead. I am hating that I’m left with little to nothing at the end of the month and sometimes dipping into savings (when I used to save 500-1k per month)
my figures are as follows:
My basic salary (with no overtime!) Is 2600
Child benefit (in Ireland) -280

So that’s a minimum of 2860 or thereabouts

My only solid must pay outgoings per month are
Rent 1400
Storage 80 (I’m working on getting rid of this!)
Life insurance 84
Internet and phone 52
Netflix 15
Bins 23
Electricity 120

I have a car but I own outright it and tax and insurance are paid annually. (Used savings)

So that’s a Total of 1874
So that’s a Leftover 986 which seems like a lot but that’s to cover food, petrol and everything else (clothes, birthdays, haircuts, days out etc)

Rationally I know I’m doing ok, I get that, I’m just worried that I’ll never be able to save again and buy my own place. I’m trying to relax about it but I’m finding I’m stressing.

I have changed roles in work which will allow me to wfh a few days a week which will reduce my petrol consumption.

Im aware I’m lucky in lots of ways, I suppose I’m just venting. I just find I’m flirting between being strong about it in the now and worrying about how it will all play out. Anyone else?

@Ace56 yes I am very lucky, I have been blessed in so many ways. Thank you. ☺️

Your life insurance seems very high, OP. I presume it's an endowment policy, where if you die your family get a payout and if you survive you get a lump sum back. So it's effectively a savings scheme, which means that you're saving.

You could probably obtain straightforward life cover (it pays out only if you die) far cheaper. When I was in my early 40s I took out life cover for around £9 a month for £100k of cover. I think it's probably cheaper now. You might want to investigate the pros and cons of swapping the endowment for an ordinary life insurance policy.

Knickerbockergrolia · Today 13:44

There is one of these threads every day at the moment. OP says they earn well but feel poor, then go on to list the dozens of things they spend their money on, or (like in this case) that they 'only' have £1000 left after bills. Netflix, haircuts, car payments, days out, pet insurance, debts, eating out, subscriptions -

yes they all cost money, so if you spend your money on those things you'll not have as much left. What people don't seem to consider is that modern life comes with loads more 'trappings' than it used to and they do of course cost money. Standards of living are generally far higher than they used to be, ergo more expensive.

If people want to live the 1970s life style of no mobile, Internet, crappy old car, modest days out/ holidays/birthdays it would be much cheaper. Yes, I get that the norm is having much more these days, but surely it stands to reason that it is also much more expensive. A lot of people seem baffled that having lots of luxuries means spending most of your money on them.

Note, this is not about people in the breadline struggling to feed their families. It's about people who seem to expect to be able to afford many of life's extras' without considering that when there are so many available, it's not possible, even on a goodish wage, to have as many as you might want.

The concept of feeling hard up had really changed in the last couple of decades.

Yeah this. I know it's hard for everyone these days, but there seems to be a myriad of threads like this lately, and I'm not sure what they posters expect people to be able to do about it.

And every single one of these threads has multiple suggestions from people trying to help and assist the OP, but the suggestions are dismissed, as either no good/can't do it, or they have already tried that. The fact is, if you want more money, cut down on your spending or work more hours. It really is that simple.

What else do these posters want people to say?

And life insurance nearly £100 a month?! I am sure there are cheaper life insurance plans than that. And there are cheaper Netflix packages, and there MUST be a cheaper phone and internet package!

@FeelingHotHotHotFeelingHotHotHot

And life insurance nearly £100 a month?! -This is actually for me and my ex..it was easier to keep paying it until we are fully separated. We are medically underwritten for life. It’s a joint life policy with life cover and serious illness cover so this will change eventually yes!

And there are cheaper Netflix packages - those prices are euros and for two screens.

there MUST be a cheaper phone and internet package!- there probably is yes but I’m tied into a contract for a year now so I’ll have to see it through. I could probably get similar for €40 I think?

@FeelingHotHotHotFeelingHotHotHot

What else do these posters want people to say?

in answer to this…I think people just want to vent and be heard, surely as humans we are entitled to that? 😢

@Knickerbockergrolia @FeelingHotHotHotFeelingHotHotHot

Shame you can’t read as well as you can point the finger? 🤦🏻‍♀️

OP lives in Ireland which has a total population about a tenth the size of the U.K. so economies of scale matter. It is also one of the most expensive European countries to live in. Your choices are even further limited when you live rurally.

Where I live, there is no mains water or broadband. We have a well, a septic tank and our broadband is via a satellite box so it’s very slow. Luckily, the phone provider lives in the next townland and if you have problems, they’ll come out the same day.

A car is essential as rural bus services don’t really exist other than the school bus specifically carrying children to and from school, but it’s the school holidays now so that’s a moot point.

@MessyHouseHappyHouse very true and I live in an area with good fibre broadband access. I could probably get a better deal but only by €10 I reckon. Which is not to be sniffed at, and I will do that as soon as I can!

Can you claim rent credit - think that it's €500 per year. Did you say that you've told Revenue that you're now separated? A friend of mine separated and she was primary carer for 3 kids and they adjusted her tax bands but as you're 50 50 maybe that won't apply for you. Could a room be rented out in the former family home? Do you follow Irishbudgeting on insta? Lots of cheap meal ideas there. Food can be so expensive. Meal plan as much as you can

Vodafone are doing €30 broadband only, they'd probably add a phone on for a tenner.

I think I would also feel a bit vulnerable op, as you are paying 50% of your net income in rent. On those figures it is no surprise that you are 'just about ok' and unable to save very much.

Unfortunately, I do think that separation usually sees both parties suffering financially, at least initially, and at least you can^^ cover everything even if it's tight.

I think there's room to save a bit here and there which might add up, such as your life insurance which seems expensive to me, but mostly you'll just have to wait it out knowing your wages will rise and your expenses (such as childcare) will fall over time, and that you e got a chunk of cash coming from the family home.

@anicesitdownandshutup i haven’t told revenue yet no. This is a good point but I’m guessing with 50:50 it will be the same for us both. He is living in the former family home and it is only a two bed so no room to rent out. He wouldn’t do it anyway i suspect because it’s the dc’s home too which i would agree with.
I don’t follow Irish budgeting on insta…I actually have removed all social media apps on my phone, apart from mn (which I wouldn’t consider sm as such) it’s not good for my mental health and was leading to too much mindless scrolling and wasted time.

@lemonmeringueno3 yes that’s the word “vulnerable” that’s exactly how I feel 😢

Is that €986 or £986. Either way, it's not a huge amount.

How much do you spend on food? I'm careful with food costs but still spent £250 a month on food for me and teen DS. Haircuts are £60 a month. Diesel is £80 a month. I have my ds all the time.

But it only takes for DS to have a field trip or grow out of his trainers and need a new coat, and that's another £100. He's into adult shoes now so hello VAT !

I've been a single mum for 14 years. I've learned to be careful with food. I grow my own fruit, salad & some veg, make batches of my own jam. I make school uniform last as long as possible (seam binding on trouser hems to make them longer etc). I use the second-hand school shop when possible.
I buy meat and fish in bulk, split into portions and freeze. The same with large containers of milk, Nothing goes to waste.
I have a log burner and free wood, so I avoid using the central heating for as long as possible.

I make it work but sometimes I think I've turned into my mother 😕

50% of your income on rent/mortgage is extremely high.

If you're going to have to get a mortage on your own without ex dh, will the bank actually lend you enough? That level of repayment on your income level would usually breach affordability levels.

I’m hoping that when I buy I won’t have THAT much of a payment. But if I can pay that much and not be dipping into savings for 6 to 8 months then I’ve been told that they will take that into consideration. So a mortgage of say 900 would be affordable. My wage will increase each year too and I do get an annual share/cash bonus from work, also have a permanent contract so I’m in a good position. If I have a chunk of money after separation (I’m guessing 100k or so) then that will be a good deposit.

@Meadowfinch i have no idea how much I spend on food. I’m afraid to tot that up. It’s not huge but not tiny either!

Well, tot up what you spend on food. Look at what is expensive every week. If you aren't paying attention, you could probably save £100 a month just on that.

1. Milk is 90p a pint or £1.45 for four pints so get some pint containers, split & freeze.
2. Large loaves of bread, split & freeze.
3. Batch-cook chilli or bolognese and freeze half.
4. Learn how to bone a chicken leg. Each gives a large single portion of meat (easily enough for a hungry 6' boy) yet only costs 65p.
5. Use all the left over-veg at the end of each week to make a veggie chilli or veg & cheese soup.
6. Freeze fruit when in season (apples, blackberries etc) for pies & cakes
7. Frozen fish is your friend - fast, tasty, healthy, inexpensive, no waste.

Get a decent 'quick food' cook book. You'll eat healthier and save money.

Obviously your rent is high. Once the finances from the split are sorted and you can buy, your mortgage would probably be lower. You will also get rid of the payment for storage. Nothing else on the list seems frivolous and you do earn a good salary. My only advice would be try to keep food shopping to £100 per week. An Internet shop once a week can help keep the cost down, rather than going into the shops.

Thank you everyone. It’s nice to just say these things out loud. I’m going to put a plan in place to sort it better and hopefully when all is sorted I’ll be able to buy my own place and feel less vulnerable 🥹

Just want to say, I have put a plan in place and I’m going to see how it goes. I should be able to save 170 per month with the new budget. I’ll be back in a few months to update 🙌

Your rent is very high so long term plan could be finding somewhere a lot cheaper. Life insurance is high too. The rest kind of sounds normal and you'd have a lot more money left at the end of the month if you moved somewhere with lower rent. Do you not pay council tax?

@Honestyy thers is no where cheaper that wouldn’t be an absolute dive and not suitable for my dc unfortunately. That is the going rate and it is for a three bed detached bungalow with a garden etc. I’m happy with it despite the ridiculous price to be fair. The insurance I can change in a few months or so yes.
No council tax Ireland. Thank god! I don’t think I could manage another bill like that!

Op break down what's left, so how much for food? 400? 500?
Put that aide for food.
How much do you need for days out each weekend?

Re Xmas and bday and holiday.. Save small amounts of what's left for these.
Start pots unless you have already eg 50 pm for Christmas, 30 pm bday, 60 for holidays.

Rest saving.

It may not seem like much and if one year when you start you can spend less on holiday and bday and Xmas, you will build u decent funds by next year.
Try and put 20 away each month for car stuff.
Also if you know what you spend on petrol also take that out along with food.. The divvy up the rest accordingly.

BTW op every month all I have left in my main account is food money every single penny is allocated into its pot within minuets on pay day.
X amount goes to weekend money, x to Xmas, bday, holiday, petrol, insurance and all the rest...

For now sounds like this is just the way it has to be for a while however surely things will get more comfortable or at least you’ll have money for a house if your husband buys you out your current home or if you both sell it you will get something?