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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Holiday Nightmare!

314 replies

AmbTurn · 29/06/2024 11:55

AIBU here?

We have come away the two of us for 10 days. Had a bit of a nightmare the first 3 days as our cases didn't come on the plane with us, they turned up 3 days later so I spent the first 3 days on the phone emailing etc.

Anyway, cases did turn up on day 3! Great let's get on with enjoying the holiday.

Thursday afternoon all of a sudden I felt I had been hit by a bus. I woke up in the middle of the night with a high fever and aching from head to toe. Ended up in bed all day yesterday because I felt so bad.

Managed to get up today and get to the chemist as I knew it was more than a cold. The chemist gave me some stuff for the flu and a Covid test. Top and bottom of it is, I've tested positive for Covid hence the reason why I feel horrendous.

Partner seems really pissed off. Hardly speaking to me! That's the vibe I'm getting. He went to the adult only pool yesterday until 6pm as I told him pointless sitting in the room with me.

Today after I got the positive test he's annoyed again. Saying well I have to spend the holiday on my own! Didn't ask how I was feeling or any regard for the fact I feel horrendous with a temperature and I'm wasting my holiday stuck in bed in the room.

At least he can go out round the pool in the sun! AIBU in thinking he's being a bit selfish in just thinking of himself? It's really getting on my nerves!

OP posts:
Original poster
AmbTurn · 29/06/2024 18:43

placemats · 29/06/2024 18:33

Firstly well done @AmbTurn for getting the luggage sorted out. If I was on holiday with you I would be singing your praises for this. I understand the disappointment, however I would be making sure you have all you need and be looking after you.

I would be keeping my phone on me at all times if I went out and making sure you are okay. Holidays come and go but a loved one is precious and requires taking care of.

I hope you get over your covid infection soon. However take it easy and look after yourself. Don't let him take the card, you need to have access to that.

All the best to you x

Thank you. I've just had the speech of dont worry I won't leave the room tomorrow then I can get you whatever you want and I won't get moaned at!!

I honestly just want to go home.

OP posts:
LordSnot · 29/06/2024 18:54

Ambleberry · 29/06/2024 15:56

Haha I don't think I am! Have had terrible DV relationship in past and now with DH of 12 years who is a lovely man who helped me protect and bring up my children when I escaped, but occasionally behaves like a child himself.

When my son was a teenager struggling with anger issues I figured out how to give him space to calm down and later he would admit to being out of order. He has grown up into a very calm and thoughtful man who looks out for his disabled sister.

I use that technique on my DH once or twice a year for an easy life and I'm not ashamed! If I was being childish and grumpy I'd want him to help me snap out of it too. Why both be miserable if you know a way to snap out of that dynamic?

You've learned how to pacify men immediately to avoid abuse. That's not a good thing and not something you should be advising others to do.

placemats · 29/06/2024 19:01

AmbTurn · 29/06/2024 18:43

Thank you. I've just had the speech of dont worry I won't leave the room tomorrow then I can get you whatever you want and I won't get moaned at!!

I honestly just want to go home.

Show quote history

Is there anyone in reception that you can confidently talk to? Though be wary, he may already be moaning about you, some will be on your side. Keep that thought.

I understand that you want to go home. I would be the same. Once you feel well enough do it!

Sharptonguedwoman · 29/06/2024 19:03

FrenchandSaunders · 29/06/2024 12:05

You might feel well enough tom to sit by the pool or bar, hopefully.

Not near anyone, please! Those of us who are clinically vulnerable would like to feel safe. I'm sorry your partner's being such a tit.

trextape · 29/06/2024 19:13

AmbTurn · 29/06/2024 14:57

He has just returned from the beach!

I have aired my points stating that he hasn't even checked on me, he didn't take his phone so was reachable.

He said he doesn't need to ask how I am, he knows how I am.

Said don't worry tomorrow I won't move out the room. I said I absolutely would not expect you to do that and nor would I want you to, what I would expect though is just a mere asking if I need anything or am I okay.

He said if it was him, he would be getting up and getting out!! In 30 degree heat with a fever when I keep nodding in and out of sleep.

He said how do you think it feels me having to spend the last two days on my own!

I said ditto! At least you get to go out and sit in the sun at the beach or pool! Not in bed!

i bet your neighbouring guests out on their balcony were riveted!

This marriage can’t possibly be otherwise happy and healthy?

trextape · 29/06/2024 19:14

He messaged his mummy

fgs this is all so… weird

Original poster
AmbTurn · 29/06/2024 19:18

@trextape I wasn't shouting! No one on any balcony heard us!

OP posts:
randomusernam · 29/06/2024 19:32

Gogogo12345 · 29/06/2024 11:57

Why can't you sit at the pool?

Yes because sitting in the hot sun is just what you want to do when you feel terrible. Why is there always people like this on mums net?!

randomusernam · 29/06/2024 19:33

Make sure you keep a record of it all so you can claim on holiday insurance. This is what it's for

Combattingthemoaners · 29/06/2024 19:49

The usual pathetic responses from the pedantic police. Ignore them.

He is being a knob and you are right to feel pissed off. It’s not like you’ve asked to be unwell! Hope you feel better soon.

trextape · 29/06/2024 20:00

AmbTurn · 29/06/2024 19:18

@trextape I wasn't shouting! No one on any balcony heard us!

i didn’t say you were shouting

but so easy to hear conversations when out on balcony / doors open and all in such close quarters

and i’m guessing voices were… a touch raised!

As i say, entertainment for the other guests! so not a bad thing!

trextape · 29/06/2024 20:01

a grown assed man actually said to you basically

“I have just message my mummy to tell her what’s happened and how upset i am”?

🤢

IWishIWasABaller · 29/06/2024 20:07

Fgs swallow a few paracetamol and go sit at the beach under an umbrella. A gentle swim in the sea will cool you down and grab a few ice cold drinks and ice creams. No way would I be wasting away my holiday holed up in a bedroom. He must be fed up. Mask on in communal areas life goes on

Original poster
AmbTurn · 29/06/2024 20:15

IWishIWasABaller · 29/06/2024 20:07

Fgs swallow a few paracetamol and go sit at the beach under an umbrella. A gentle swim in the sea will cool you down and grab a few ice cold drinks and ice creams. No way would I be wasting away my holiday holed up in a bedroom. He must be fed up. Mask on in communal areas life goes on

Edited

I've got a high fever and can't move out of bed!! Ffs what's wrong with you! Have you never been that poorly your bed bound?

OP posts:
Original poster
AmbTurn · 29/06/2024 20:16

@IWishIWasABaller not to mention the risk to other people who are potentially vulnerable and could pass onto them!!

OP posts:
Pigeonqueen · 29/06/2024 20:29

AmbTurn · 29/06/2024 20:15

I've got a high fever and can't move out of bed!! Ffs what's wrong with you! Have you never been that poorly your bed bound?

Show quote history

If you’re that unwell I really think you should contact your travel insurance provider and try and return home early and recover and then use the insurance money to try and rebook for another time. No one is having a good time in this situation are they?

Ilovetea33 · 29/06/2024 20:45

I also originally thought this was a new relationship. He sounds so unkind, is this a new thing or have you just not really noticed before because you bumbled along without any major crisis?
I hope you're feeling better very soon, but i think you may want to reconsider this relationship once you're recovered and back home.

BoneChinaPlate · 29/06/2024 20:50

IWishIWasABaller · 29/06/2024 20:07

Fgs swallow a few paracetamol and go sit at the beach under an umbrella. A gentle swim in the sea will cool you down and grab a few ice cold drinks and ice creams. No way would I be wasting away my holiday holed up in a bedroom. He must be fed up. Mask on in communal areas life goes on

Edited

These posts are so stupid; they can only be written by people who have never actually been ill.

Yippiddy · 29/06/2024 20:50

No words of wisdom but lots of sympathy. I really hope you feel better soon.

notanothernana · 29/06/2024 21:01

I'm sat here, with Covid but should be on my holiday today. Was hoping to go Monday, for a shorter trip but I don't feel much better 3 days in. It's a Pennine walking holiday too.

Last couple of time I have had it it's taken weeks before I get back to normal. Who gets Covid in the bloody summer??

You have my sympathy, my dh is cheesed off we may have to cancel but understands. I feel better positioned in that I would rather feel like this here instead of ON holiday.

ChristmasFluff · 29/06/2024 21:21

Fucking hell, these idiots telling you crack on with the holiday! I hope they remember their own advice when they get flu.

I think the problem is you have different illness styles, and I really believe these are more of a 'thing' than love languages etc. My ex-husband was always very attentive if I was ill, but I couldn't cope with it. When I'm even the slightest bit ill, I like to be alone and just sweat it out. Give me a jug of water in the morning and then leave me the hell alone!

Whereas he would always want me around and tending to him when he was ill, and while I did it, it truly amazed me - why would you want someone hanging about when you are poorly?

We both adapted to eachother's style, but I don't think we ever understood eachother's illness style really.

Sorchamarie · 29/06/2024 21:27

Best wishes for a speedy recovery OP. I'm sorry your holiday has been so rubbish and that your husband is being such a selfish, uncaring arse. I really hope this is very out of character for him, otherwise agree with others who've suggested you have a think whether this relationship is really worth staying in. Being treated badly by someone who is supposed to love and care for you is so soul destroying. Good luck!

Sharptonguedwoman · 29/06/2024 21:59

IWishIWasABaller · 29/06/2024 20:07

Fgs swallow a few paracetamol and go sit at the beach under an umbrella. A gentle swim in the sea will cool you down and grab a few ice cold drinks and ice creams. No way would I be wasting away my holiday holed up in a bedroom. He must be fed up. Mask on in communal areas life goes on

Edited

You are pretty thoughtless. Proper Covid is like really awful flu. Every joint aches, you feel hot and cold in turns. You feel sick, sore throat, can't eat and you are a danger to other people.

BrendaSmall · 29/06/2024 21:59

AmbTurn · 29/06/2024 18:31

@BrendaSmall I've got a raging temperature body aches headache cough and you wouldn't be in bed! Okay!
Well I'm not about to sit outside around other people who could catch it either

Yes I would be outside!
No one will catch it if you don’t get too close to them!

IBegYourBiggestPardon · 29/06/2024 22:14

The only thing I could do when I had covid was either stagger to the bathroom, or to the kitchen to make a hot lemon then crawl back into bed and sleep constantly. I barely ate or drank anything for a week. I just couldn't stomach it. No way would I have wanted to go lie on a sunbed in the heat or float around in the sea. If I was poorly on holiday my OH wouldn't be moaning at me. He would be making sure I had plenty of fluids, bring me food if I wanted it and would let me rest until I felt better. He certainly wouldn't be whinging that he had to go sit round the pool or go to the beach or for a walk by himself, and like wise I would do the same for him.