To cancel a first date, I know it's a shitty thing to do

[Cantsleepagain33]

It's someone from OLD, the date is supposed to be at 7:30pm, meeting for a drink. Been talking on Hinge for about 5 days.

I know I've massively wasted his time, and this is really flaky, but I've decided he's not for me and I'm not in a position to be dating.
Or should I just go and grin and bear it? It's nothing against him.
I imagine he'll be pissed off and rightly so.

It's not shitty. You don't owe him anything. Enjoy your free evening!

No, cancel it if you're certain he's not for you. In my opinion, it would be wasting his time to go on the date. You're not obligated to go on a date with anyone.

There's a chance you might like him in person, of course. But probably not if you're already put off.

Thank you.
This might be me overthinking but on his profile he's written something like 'Yeah obviously you love holidays, don't we all. But it's like 4 weeks of the year. I'd rather hear more about the other 48 weeks.'
Dunno if that sounds cocky or not?

Cancel. Don't waste any more time, yours or his.

You’ve changed your mind, you’re allowed to do that. Don’t feel bad about it

Cancel now, not at 5pm or so this afternoon.

It's not flaky or out of order at all. What would be flaky and wrong is ghosting him.

Just be honest- you dont owe him a date but you do owe him honesty about what you want and if you dont want a relationship then just tell him that so you can both move on. No big deal.

You’ve been chatting online for a few days. He’s effectively a total stranger. You owe him absolutely nothing - in any case if you aren’t interested then going on a date with him is just wasting more of his time. He might be a bit disappointed but that goes with the dating territory.

Cancel it and feel no guilt at all. He shouldn’t be angry but if he is then you’ve had a narrow escape from someone unpleasant!

I don't think it's necessarily cocky - but it could be. That's not helpful, I know. Has he come across as cocky when you have been chatting?

i don’t think it’s cocky. He wants to hear about the real everyday you. It’s overthinking to cancel because of that, although, you absolutely have the right to cancel for any reason whatsoever.

Is this the reason you are cancelling? I sure nothing wrong with this.

If you are cancelling though do it this morning so he's not hanging round all day thinking you have plans.

Also written on his profile 'we must meet within a week, I'm not here to be a backup or a penpal'.
Again I'm probably just looking for things.
But I will cancel this morning, thank you.

He doesn’t sound cocky, but a bit thick! Though I get what he’s trying to say and actually agree with the sentiment.
Why did you even arrange the date? I thought you were going to say that he’d said something off yesterday- not what was on his profile all along!
But yes, if you’re not interested, cancel.

Cancel sonnet than later so he can make other plans tonight

Tell him the truth that you're not really ready.

Do it soon. Just say you'd rather he knew now rather than not turning up or meeting and knowing there won't be a follow up date leaving him wondering why.

Wish him luck.

Then enjoy today doing what you want!

Yeah, that makes him sound like a twat who hates holidays. Definitely don't date him! In fact, tell him you can't make the date because you're off on a last minute bargain break! 😜

Oops can't edit on app. Sooner!

I’d actually say you might be being a bit quick to judge and you never know the real person until you meet in real life. Unless via his messages you are sure he’s not for you? I think his note about meeting within a week shows he’s serious about meeting someone

Again, why didn’t that put you off initially? Like his other comment, I think the sentiment of it is actually fine. But… the way he’s been unable/unwilling to express it more politely makes him sound thick. And yes, cocky.

He could have said, “not here for penpals 😉 so I like to aim to meet within a week” and it would have had a different tone. But he either doesn’t care to think about how he comes across, or he’s not very smart.

I also think his profile is good. He just doesn't want time wasters stringing him along or people who have nothing to talk about hence the comment to the other weeks in the year.

Wow. He has the whole relationship scripted. When you must meet him, what you are allowed to discuss. He may just be a bit inexperienced and attempting to be honest but he may also be a bit of a control freak.

You are right, and it will be a great profile to the right person.
I think as well as he's 8 years older than me, maybe it's a bigger gap than I was looking for.
I know I've just wasted his time.

Nobody has to do anything they don't want to do. Women tend to go ahead where a man wouldn't out of some mad sense of duty.

There’s something faintly bitter and aggressive about his tone, I think. I’d cancel too.

You haven’t wasted his time. You’ve decided, within his timeframe of a week, that you don’t want to take it further. Don’t give it another moment’s thought.