Why did school mum do this?

[PsychIsMyFave]

Had an event yesterday for my sons school. We all got on so well and chatted and had a lovely time. At pick up today I said hi to one of the mums I really chatted loads to and she blanked me! I did or said nothing wrong, she is usually like this but I really thought we broke the ice yesterday and got along so well. She even hugged me as we left. Why does she now blank me? No weird topics or discussions were had, it was very light heated and jovial evening.

Oh I get blanked at school too OP. Lady I've spoken to for hours on a mums night out (voluntarily, she could have chatted with others) has subsequently blanked me. Another mum did it from the get go. She has a few mum friends and presumably the rest of us are surplus. Others are ok but lots are standoffish. So I don't bother anymore, I just do the same back and keep myself to myself. I'm too old and busy for that crap.

Lots of people have poor social skills (and are rude). You just have to not take it personally.

@Gingerdancedbackwards Go away! You’re so “helpful” no?

everyone else - thank you. Yes you are all right why am I so bothered? That narc behaviour of making you wonder what you’ve done wrong sounds right. I just cannot be bothered with these playground antics. Thank you x

This.

I don't buy the "face blind" and "impaired sight" excuses (for the vast majority of people). I've never been blanked at work. Funny how it's only school mums!

They're rude. That's the long and short of it. Up themselves and rude.

I just read similar threads as they came up below my thread and I think I understand this now:

I think most people are decent, friendly and have good manners whereas a few have awful manners, are stuck up and generally not very nice people. So when “we” ( normal, sensitive people like me who want to be friendly and liked) be friendly and they ignore us we take it to heart and wonder what we’ve done wrong. Whereas others would just brush it off and think “oh well”, someone like me would take it to heart and re-play everything I’ve said or done to determine if I upset that person. I think deep down they are not nice people and the occasional “niceness” we see is just fake so they fit in. Sorry if it doesn’t make sense! I just wanted to get it written down so others in same boat might read this too.

no one is that busy that they can’t say hello or just smile. It’s basic manners.

A lot of parents at my dd's school were like this, very fake and up themselves. I just said a breezy hi, didnt stop to chat & collected my kids.

One day a snooty mum started talking to me because she found out I was friends with a minor celeb whom I went to school with. Then she was all over me like a rash and I was glad when our kids went to different schools.

@WitchyWay exactly! People at work are not this childish and standoffish. I say hi to do many people and have no idea who they even are! Never been blanked in work. Actually sorry come to think of it I have once - the senior boss ignored me, like he ignored everyone as he’s up himself and thinks he’s too important to say hello to people below his rank.

@ZoomDoomZoom thsts so funny! How did you react when she started getting friendly?

@PsychIsMyFave
I was a bit confused at first tbh, wasn't used to her talking to me so was a bit startled!
I started using a different entrance to the playground to avoid her & sometimes sent dh to collect the kids instead. It was bloody stressful!

Look, I am one of these mums. Sometimes I can be arsed. More often than not, I can’t, I’m not there to make friends. One child has successfully made it through primary, plenty of play dates, plenty of friends etc. One nearly finished primary and the same. Hasn’t made a dot of difference that I haven’t made time for the parents. I have a fulfilling home, work and social life and have never seen the need to try and make friends at the school gate.

@WePanickedAtTheDisco i think you are misunderstanding. I’m not looking for my gang of BFF’s! I’m not 12 years old lol! It’s just a quick hello etc. so if someone says hi to you in the street do you blank them as you have such a full social life etc. you can’t possibly be asked to have some manners and reply to their hello?

This thread is really opening my eyes to how others think. Seriously just saying “hi, how are you” and replying back with “hi, I’m fine” some find it so stressful. That’s so strange! I would feel so bad if I ignored someone on purpose, it would just be easier to say “hi” and get on with my day rather than purposely ignore them and make them feel like shit.

People are just weird OP. Be thankful you're not her, because she clearly has 'issues'.

I can't tell you how glad I was when my last child left primary school and I could leave all that school gate nonsense behind!

Sorry, I’d never ignore someone on purpose. If someone says hi, I’d always respond. But I never stand and chat, but then again I wouldn’t do that at parties or at school.
Whoever did that is being a cow.
All I’m offering is the opinion on someone who isn’t there to make friends.
I’d advise to just ignore her now 🤷🏼‍♀️

How do you know that she heard you? Surely there’s a chance she was just in her own world and thinking about something?

Definitely her, not you. There is someone like this at my child’s school. In reception she seemed really nice, since year 1 sometimes she will say hi, mostly will sneer and blank unless it suits her. She now has a reputation for being a miserable old bag and I take it with a pinch of salt. I have to say I have stooped to her level unfortunately and now don’t bother. But unfortunately her child misses out on loads of play dates and days out because of her behaviour towards other adults. Her child is also morphing into her too and does the same thing if you say good morning. Don’t waste any time thinking about it. It’s year 5 for us now and her behaviour hasn’t changed!

Some people are just weird. I make sure I still loudly say a cheery hello as I walk past, even at the ones that don't always respond. It just makes them look like a dick when they don't reply and I feel good for being friendly.

I had one like that. She recognised me from another context, was friendly for a while and cooled off.

It was blatent when she went into blanking mode. The others in the group would wave and say hello and she'd stride on with her nose in the air deliberately snubbing me and ignoring her friends' actions. It did bother me the first few times but once I realised that it was going to be a pattern, I decided to see the funny side.

People like this are very inconsistent.

They can turn it on and off at the flick of a switch.

It's awkward for you and up to you if you carry on being polite.

My stance in this situation (probably wrong thinking back), was to give someone a couple of chances, and then completely blank them.

The problem with this of course is, that you become the nasty one.

It's much better to be neutral/polite I think and just go with it.

Thank god those playground days are over.

She might be hard of hearing and needed to face you to hear you? I had a colleague like this.

I think theres a difference between basic “hi” a nod etc and expecting friendship. In my case it was just a “hi”. I wasn’t trying to be this persons friend, it’s just civil.

You're rude. It isn't about making friends, most of us don't care either way and have our own friends and family outside of school. But don't be a b just because you're busy (like everyone is).

Out of interest, have you ever had manners or has this been your attitude your whole adult life?

Some people are just like this. A mum at my son’s school will talk to you one day then blank you the next day. I go into where she works and she’ll talk to me….she comes to where I work she talks to me but then see her around town and blanks me….i don’t give a shit it’s just weird af! People are just dicks sometimes

I am socially awkward, like really badly! unfortunately i never know which me is going to come out in social situations i might tell you my life story or might be like a rabbit caught in the headlights because someone spoke to me, i hate it its so embarrassing but i honestly cant help it! There are a few people it doesn't happen with at the school but it is only because i have known them for years and years and they are used to my weirdness but new people must think I'm a right mardy cow.

I've had a similar situation. Got chatting to a mum and we got on well, she added me on FB and then we messaged a lot when we were on holiday in the same place at the same time last summer (not same hotel). Then next time I saw her in the playground she blanked me. Few weeks later I was in a group conversation and someone introduced me to her and before I said 'oh we already know each other' she said 'nice to meet you' Huh?? I'm still confused!!

I’m hard of hearing, but I would never blank someone I knew and recognised at the school gates. I would always smile and say hi in passing. Blanking is rude and unfortunately very common amongst a certain type of school mum.

My DD’s old primary school was notorious for having a lot of very cliquey mums. If you were in their gang, fine. If not then you were snubbed.

There was one Mum in particular who was downright rude to anyone who wasn’t in her inner sanctum. Standoffish, up herself and extremely snobbish. Would never say hi on passing even though her DS was in my DD class. I took to saying hello in a very light and breezy way every time I passed her. I bet it pissed her right off and I didn’t give a monkeys.

Another Mum also happened to be a TA at the school and my Dd and her DD were good friends for a while. She always blanked me until the girls became friends and was perfectly pleasant then. But as soon as they split the classes up for the next academic year the girls drifted and she went back to her rude self. She was known as the rudest woman at this primary school and was notorious amongst the other parents. Unfortunately rude behaviour rubs off on your children and her DD went the same way. My DD found herself sitting next to this girl in GCSE maths and the girl just blanked my DD most lessons. I perhaps should have stayed quiet but I did tell my DD that I wasn’t surprised as she was just turning into her mother!

Yes - I’m looking at you AA with all your rugby playing sons and your stick up DD 😂