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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be uncomfortable with my cleaner bringing her child

131 replies

Panapan · 26/06/2024 18:53

We have a cleaner who comes for a couple of hours a week. Sometimes she brings a colleague and only stays an hour. Today she brought her teenage son - said he was going to help her as he’d finished his GCSEs. I assumed he’d just be hanging around with her but she then only stayed for the hour and charged me for two (ie she charged me for her son). He worked hard and didn’t do a bad job - not perfect but adequate - but I’m not completely comfortable with paying a 15 year old the same as I pay his mum. I’ve paid and won’t say anything as I’m hoping it’s a one off. But if he comes back next week, would it be unreasonable of me to gently suggest that I’d rather he didn’t come the next time?

OP posts:
Rainydayinlondon · 29/06/2024 18:36

Thedayb4youcame · 28/06/2024 09:27

Funny you should mention window cleaners, this is one of the things I am very fussy about, never more so than the period of time where I was living in my MIL to look after her when her dementia was too bad. I didn't want just anyone turning up who didn't understand that the moment they were seen from the inside by my MIL, she would be banging on the glass and screaming at them. I was so grateful to the fella who did the windows and who knew the situation.

As it happens, I am a domestic cleaner. I started 20 years ago while "between jobs" and never stopped. I am solo, but run it as a business, and can well understand why " there appears to a special case for cleaners on Mumsnet" in terms of not having other cleaners in the house, because I've seen and heard so much over the years that client's wouldn't want to have to keep explaining over & over again to new cleaners. If I had a cleaner, there's no way I'd want more than one person coming in, and I'd certainly want to have built a rapport first.

However, it has to be said that a great many of my clients just hand over door keys and give me instant free reign of their home...maybe it's because I only ever work by recommendation, and people have to wait a long time before I can fit them in, so they know already that I can be trusted.

Show quote history

Exactly. The difference between a plumber/window cleaner and a cleaner is that the latter has access to all areas of your house on a regular basis and it’s more of a personal relationship rather than a purely business one. I trust my cleaner with my keys, but I wouldn’t want her just passing them onto other people I didn’t know

PTSDBarbiegirl · 29/06/2024 18:58

As you haven't employed a 15 year old to clean your house and don't know anything about him it's not unreasonable you feel aggrieved. I'd find another cleaner but I'm very intolerant. I'd employ a 15 year old possibly to walk my dog or deliver groceries but nothing involving being in my house.

pinkyredrose · 30/06/2024 11:49

MiriamMay · 26/06/2024 19:04

Why is the work of a fifteen year old worth less than that of an adult?

Because they're 15, they're not an adult. Because they don't have experience.

Mouswife · 30/06/2024 11:51

The point is you didn’t ask for two cleaners ! You asked for one and she has decided to bring her son. No, I would get rid of her. I don’t like people taking the pee.

tennesseewhiskey1 · 30/06/2024 11:52

It’s your house - you tell her what you want or don’t want. Fwiw - I think you’re being pretty mean. It’s not like he’s come in, lounged on the sofa, stayed on his iPhone and demanded drinks. He did a decent job as you said - so no idea what the issue is.

NewName24 · 30/06/2024 15:10

Mouswife · 30/06/2024 11:51

The point is you didn’t ask for two cleaners ! You asked for one and she has decided to bring her son. No, I would get rid of her. I don’t like people taking the pee.

I agree with you if that were the situation.

If I had employed someone to clean my house for 2 hours a week and she rocked up with another person I would consider that to be a real overstepping and would say that wasn't what I booked and not what I wanted. I would make it clear anyone who was cleaning (or doing any other job) for me was not then entitled to invite anyone else into my home.

However the OP has said that her cleaner has done this several times before, with other people and the OP has been fine with that.

So, I think she IBU, because of objecting on one of the following reasons
a) because he was related to cleaner (seems unlikely)
b) he is U18
c) he is male

Yet she said his work was fine. So it wanders into prejudice.

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