To forbid DD from playing football at break?

[PFBGirlAlert]

Ok, I know I am really, but hear me out!

DD plays an instrument (rather well, if I may say so) and she also plays a sport competitively at national level and another county level.

She has started playing football with her classmates at break and it seems she is invariably in goal. I found out when she came home once complaining she'd hurt her hand and I told her it was football and she's supposed to use her feet! I pointed out it wasn't a good idea due to injury risk and she seemed to agree.

Shes just had her last tournament of the season and last concert and one of the first things she said was "oh good I can play football again now!"

I never said she shouldn't play, only that she shouldn't play goalie.

I still don't think it's a good idea, she will be devastated if she injures her wrist.

Is there anything I can do/say/show her to mitigate the risk of injury? Should she bandage her wrists like she does for boxing? Gloves- do they help protect, if so which? Techniques to learn? Or should I tell her she's not to play in goal?

AIBU - to forbid her to play in goal?
YANBU - it's a sensible precaution

At 12 she'll just take up rugby instead!

Honestly? Chill, let her play, however good they are the chances of making it are so slim being happy is more important

@PFBGirlAlert Are you talking break time football? Or team coaching?

Gwt her goalie lessons and decent gloves. Would you tell your son to mind his hands too?

Because if my mother started controlling my play there would have been a big issue. She isn't a insured professional musician she is a child with many potential futures.

@CurlewKate Break time football - against a lot of wannabe football stars...

Anyone noticed OPs username ?

@Marblessolveeverything no! Because he would never want to play football. He doesn't play any instruments and he doesn't play any sport competitively.
If he were e.g. a pianist, then yes, I would have the same stance because he's my pfb

I know. But I also know she would be heartbroken and an absolute pain if she can't do her sport, she's bad enough over the summer break when she doesn't get her fix!

She will be devastated or you will be?

As long as she is aware of the risks no way would I stop this

Let her be a kid. So she breaks her wrist. So what. It'll heal. Will not being able to play/practice for 6weeks really end her potential career as a professional musician/sports star?

Why does she see football= goalie? Is it because she considers herself better at that post, or some pressure from others?

In general I don't see not playing a goalie during the school break as too big sacrifice if she uses her hands for other stuff.

In my area netball was the thing and I was skipping it since this age (head of my music school asked even my PE teacher to let me out of that). I'm not a pro now, but got some amazing opportunities during my teens with the instrument.

I don't agree with PP that she will necessarily just do it and lie, we didn't. It is a kind of professionalism which 12 yo is definitely able to feel.

@Edingril strange as it may seem, I am very unMNingly laid back about hobbies. The only thing I insist on is that they both do one sport outside of school. Which sport, how often etc has always been left up to them. I'm just here to pick up the bill and sort the taxis. Music came at her request, and not something I would have insisted on (DS doesn't play anything).

I was forced into learning music and never had a choice over which extra-curricular activities I did and I swore my DC would be allowed to make their own decisions.

She was very ill earlier this year, missing 13 days of school and having a staggered return to sport, so I'm basing my claims she would be devastated if she picked up a wrist injury on that.

Break time football - against a lot of wannabe football stars...
very snarky about other kids having a kick about, not everyone has national level/ orchestra playing kids, some just let their kids have fun.
Pushy parents are never looked back in fondly by their kids when they are adults.

OK. It's breaktime football. A sure fire way to make sure she doesn't play any more is to follow some of the advice on here and impose a different ball on them and insist she straps her wrists before she plays!

I thought that too.

@Kelly51 Maybe a bit snarky I know. But one of her classmates was sent home injured Monday....the impression I get from DD is the less skilled a player is, the more aggressive they get. I'm not a footballer (clearly!) and am assuming that at that age, some of the boys can kick with quite some force, and not necessarily control it.

My son plays in goal. Get her some decent gloves. He's broken his fingers before, but only when he's not had gloves on. She could just as easily fall awkwardly playing on pitch. Or falling off a kerb walking to school. I think you need to let her get on with it.

Wow just saw this. How rude. My previous post still stands, but you don't half think alot of your DD!!

If her daughter plays at national and county level, OP is fully entitled to think a lot of her.

Absolutely. But you can be proud of your child without putting down others.

If she’s very athletic why not see if she wants to move to football from one of her other sports or have some taster lessons in football? Just because she’s done gymnastics and shot put up to now doesn’t mean she wouldn’t make a fabulous footballer.

FWIW Katie Archibald, several time Olympic medalist, world/european champion has just been ruled out of the Olympic track cycling this year, breaking her leg tripping up a step. I’d not sideline your DD because she might hurt herself. I say this as someone who is a nightmare when ill/injured as I can’t do sport. It will happen to her at some point regardless almost certainly so just let her be a kid.

@PFBGirlAlert

If the sport is tennis I totally understand why you are anxious about her playing in goal. It is another level of competition. A long term injury is very serious in terms of ranking.

I agree.

Gloves when she’s goalkeeping. And OP might have some success if she encourages playing the field as a way to broaden her horizons. Emphasising the importance of footwork (which would be important for boxing as well) might be helpful as well.

But I definitely would not forbid goalkeeping. That would probably encourage her (as PP said).

It’s also important to consider that she could just as well injure her wrists whilst playing in the field. A nasty fall is all it takes…

Kids kickabout at break it's just fun,you say you don't want her to be forced like you were but you are trying to force her like you were, being snarky about a football game is just that
If she breaks a hand or a wrist and can't box OR play her instrument then that's a lesson learned all you can do is warn her she might injur herself, how are you going to forbid her are you going to have repercussions if you find out she's in goals?

Take up martial arts, they teach you how to fall.

She could get injured doing anything OP. And yes your comment was a bit snarky, all kids that age think they’re playing for England. You’ve no idea which ones are actually good and playing for proper teams. Some of my DC’s classmates have been scouted to play for various clubs.