Does anyone not just accept anything anymore?

[PassingStranger]

Saw a group grieving for grandchildren for people grieving cos they arent grandparents.

FFS. Nobody gets everything they want in life. Life isn't like that.
How is sharing this info with each other going to make grandchildren appear anyway?

What's the point in it.
Some people would be just pleased to have a child let alone worrying about grandchildren.

Why do people think their lives would be better if only they had this or that.
Be grateful for what you do have?
How about grieving cos I'm not a millionaire.
Grieving that I'm not famous and so on etc.
Where does it end?
We don't all get everything we want and there is no saying it would bring happiness anyway.

You are angry at people seeking social support for painful emotions? You seem unempathetic and angry at people who are suffering.

I agree with you OP.

There are many reasons people don't have grandchildren. Their child or grandchild might have died or their children might themselves be heartbroken as they can't have children they'd dearly love.

Being a bit hurt because you're not rich or famous isn't the same as the above.

Anything that helps people who are struggling is a good thing isn't it?

I agree OP.

Your overall tone is right. People dwell on things now in a way that isn’t healthy tbh. Wish they’d all stop talking about it, it feels like all we do now is ruminate, self diagnose and play misery top trumps

If it gives them a safe outlet to stop hassling their own children to have a grandchild for them, then I am all for it.

I don't know, people can find others and express things they couldn't get off their chest in the past. Sometimes this can be a good thing, sometimes not. The upside and pitfalls of increased communication opportunities I guess.

Totally agree OP. Someone is always on the want. Not everything is for everyone. It’s 100 per cent entitlement and oversharing. Nothing is private anymore

Agree with this too. Desperate would be grandparents are the last thing anyone struggling to conceive needs.

Are they grieving because they've lost grandchildren or are they grieving that they'll never have grandchildren? Two very different things but if it's the latter then I agree with you.

Yes, we've moved from having to stifle emotions in an unhealthy way to wallowing in them without much work out in to managing the situation.

I probably won't have grandchildren. It's a damn shame because I'd be a great granny! I have lost children as well (not through death).

I have found ways to manage my disappointment that don't impact other people, most especially not my DC.

Disappointment and loss are part of the human experience. Trauma as well, unfortunately. Growing past that is the challenge and we need to help each other with that rather than cementing our identify in the bad stuff.

My mum spent years "grieving" that she'd never have grandchildren, as I was struggling with infertility.

Now I've had a baby, she's constantly telling me how upset she is that we aren't going to try for another.

Some people are just never happy!

I agree.

I’ve seen a few threads on here recently with people lamenting that they “ruined their life” because they aren’t as successful as their siblings on friends, or their elderly parents helping poorer siblings more.

A lot of angst is caused by people feeling entitled to certain things and not getting them.

Sometimes it helps to contain the grief in a shared space. They can let out all their emotions then carry on with their lives and not burdening anyone else.

It's a great idea. Now where do I go to grieve my youth and the days when life was so much easier?

It's the Internet.

We can see things now that we never needed to see, and often would be better off not seeing. So you wouldn't have random grandchild pictures pushed at you through social media, making you feel sad you didn't have grandchildren. Previously, a friend might have shown you a grandchildren pic when you saw your friend, and you could have said you were sad about not having grandchildren, and your friend probably wouldn't have offered more pics again, being mindful of your sadness.

You wouldn't have been able to go into a spiral by looking up grief for non-existent grandchildren, and discover it was a thing. Previously, you might have decided not to dwell on it, as it seemed silly when people were dealing with grief as real people died, and you would have moved on, until it just became a slight wistfulness, along with all the other life regrets.

Now, the algorithms get to work, and you can't go online without grandchildren (and happy doting grandparents) being pushed at you. Now it seems you're really missing out, which makes you even sadder.

Then you engage with it more, study the feeling and need a support group to make you feel better.

It's a vicious cycle that just wouldn't have happened pre-internet.

Oh blimey. Poor you.

Totally agree.
How do they know that any grandchildren would be born fit and healthy?
Do they still want one if unfortunately he/she is brain damaged/ severly disabled, or with a life limiting illness or anything else horrific that can be bestowed upon human beings?

What happens if the parents split up and they can't see the grandchildren anymore or theres a big family bust up they then have that pain to deal with.

How about if the grandchildren turn out horrible, and they don't want to visit them either. How about parent wants them to babysit all the time and they dont want too?

Truly pathetic.
They should also respect their children's choices in life if they didn't want them.
Being a parent does not give you an automatic right to a grandchild.
Focus on your own life.

I agree. That’s not grief. You’re allowed to feel a flicker of sadness but “grieving” for grandchildren you don’t have and never had is psychologically unwell. They must all have something else going on to fixate on this to the extent they need a support group.

I agree that people in general just need to get on with things better. Life has ups and downs and disappointments and successes. You have to deal with them as they come. Sometimes I thank goodness that I had a very awful thing happen to me in my early 20’s as it’s made me so much more resilient.

Suffering what because they don't have grandchildren?
Suffering would be no food to eat, no clean water etc.
Being a victim of an earthquake. That is real Suffering.

I agree. The world seems so bizarre to me now. I feel like people embrace these negative experiences to define themselves. I think it’s fine to seek genuine help for something traumatic but there’s a point where people are just taking the piss. And I say this as someone who has longed for children but has suffered miscarriages and fertility problems. I can’t dwell on it and I don’t.

I agree OP.

I think it's great that we are more aware of the value of talking and sharing painful emotions but it seems we've gone a bit too far and even momentary sadness or a feeling of disappointment needs a support group.

It's fine to want grandchildren and understandable to grieve if you have lost a grandchild but the entitlement of grieving grandchildren you have never had is rather self absorbed and I don't think it's wrong to say so.

I don't think many social media groups, which are formed to help a particular 'misfortune', are ever very useful or uplifting. I joined one for people with my particular form of arthritis and found it very depressing to read thread after thread of competitive suffering, with no helpful information at all.

Agree with you - whatever you have or don’t have, life is only ever as good as you make it

I'm confused about why it bothers you so much OP.
Sometimes we cant have what we want and we allowed to be sad about it

The world is becoming a bit ridiculous. You cannot offend anyone. It is identifying as something else that gets me. A tree, a cat, a cuddly toy, a baby - you name it.