Stop kids staying in a house where there's weed being smoked?

[Honeymonster2]

My ex is living with his mum and he has mentioned the children coming to stay the night soon... his mum used to smoke weed and after a recent upset she's started again. I've been in the house recently and can smell it. I don't want my children going there or staying the night if she's smoking... do I have any rights to this? What is solution, to have my ex in my house for his time with them?

Weed is less harmful than alcohol, so if anyone ever drinks alcohol in your house when the children are there, it's hypocritical to say there's a problem with them being in a house where cannabis may be consumed.

However, you'll notice I said "consumed", rather than "smoked". Smoking anything is bad not only for the smoker, but those around them - say to him you expect the mother to either consume her cannabis another way or smoke in the garden.

I’m not sure on legal rights but I also wouldn’t be happy with someone under the influence of anything looking after my child and I definitely wouldn’t be happy for them to be staying in a home where anyone is smoking anything inside, cannabis or otherwise.

No way. But I am the squarest person alive when it comes to weed. I hate the stuff.

Two options: you let them stay but have the conversation about no weed or you offer the "nesting" option where he comes and stays at your EOW and you go stay elsewhere.

This obviously depends on how you feel about him staying at yours and if you have somewhere to go.

Me too, that's why I wonder if I'm against it more than the average person lol

my ex failed numerous drug tests in court for weed, I brought up my concern that it impacts him as a parent and puts our child in danger and courts didn’t care. Infact they shamed ME for raising it as a concern and gave him overnight contact with my BABY despite failing multiple drug tests. I guess what I’m trying to say is be careful, you think you’re doing what’s safe and the best interest of your children and courts look at it as that you’re finding an ‘excuse’ to stop contact.

I really understand where you’re coming from, my ex lived with his mum at the time who was mentally unstable and openly done drugs (sniff included) when her other grandkids were in the house (before my child was born). It terrifies me to think my child is around that

You should be proud you stood up for them! It's such a shame it wasn't seen as a concern

I dislike weed, but I doubt this will be grounds to stop your children staying over if he goes to court.

Absolutely no chance would they be staying over.
YADNBU

Yanbu, I wouldn't want to
Normalise drugs to them. Disgusting for granny to be a pot head.

I trust you never consume alcohol in the presence of your children, including in the house when they're asleep?

Not the same. Not at all. I can have a glass of wine and I’m still perfectly fine to parent my DC. My DC never stayed with drug users.

In what way is cannabis more harmful than alcohol? Or is it just the fact that you don't call alcohol a drug?

I don't smoke (or otherwise consume) cannabis, and I'm not teetotal, but if alcohol is OK, so is cannabis.

I imagine the stark difference between alcohol and drugs/weed is:

Alcohol is legal and isn't cut with other unknown substances.

Neither is alcohol, to my knowledge, sold to uphold prostitution, trafficking, child trafficking etc.

Wowsers!

I'm guessing she must've edited her posts though as I don't see mention of the ex being an alcoholic?

Yes, this. Illegal drugs equals exploitation and misery, in my view. It is nothing like the same as alcohol. I had no problem with my DC visiting houses where the parents drank - as long as they weren’t drinking while my Dc were there - never seemed to the case!

My dC would never have gone to the house of a weed smoker.

I see you're trying to make a point, but I actually don't. Plenty of fizzy drinks, which is my vice, but I don't drink, smoke or do drugs with or without the children in the house

Also noticed nobody’s mentioned the respiratory issues and asthma caused by secondhand cannabis inhalation.

Is she smoking it in the house? I'm very lax with weed smokers but won't condone smoking anything in the house with children or animals

I know you say the house smells but I was wondering if that's because she's smoking at the door or actually inside

Alcohol doesn't trigger paranoia, and isn't accompanied by the absolute stench that weed smokers seem immune to. You can even smell them when they're aisles away in a supermarket, it's not like cigarettes where it's just a mild smell if they do it in the garden.

And the obvious, that weed on its own before going in a joint will smell very strong too so could it be you can smell the plant rather than smoke?

Actually, counterfeit alcohol is a problem. It is produced by criminals and sold in bottles labelled as a genuine product. The criminals involved are often involved in other crimes such as the ones you mention.

People can buy counterfeit alcohol quite unknowingly. Sometimes you can tell that there's something not right with it, sometimes not. Sometimes it's dangerous but usually not because if people start getting ill the authorities will investigate.

Tell your ex your dc are not to be breathing in 2nd hand weed smoke. It's psychoactive and toxic. Granny can take her joints outside or not have them overnight or ex gets own house.