Kid constantly knocking on door!!

[Eimsryan]

Looking for some advice please. Since last October/November 2023 we have had a child i think 8/9 years of age (with special needs) constantly ringing my doorbell and running/banging on my door and looking through my front window. My husband approached his father around Christmas to ask if anything can be done. The father said he would do something about it. It all went quiet for 2 weeks then it started back up again.

Fast forward to now June 2024 and its worse than ever. its almost every day now but definitely every week and its embarrassing especially when I have visitors. I am also pregnant with our baby due in January and want this to stop.

I get the child has special needs and that's why we have not said anything for over 6 months hoping it would pass but it hasn't. I am just wondering should we approach the parents again because i dont want this to continue before our baby is born.

Why is he knocking? Have you said to him not to do it? Do you not answer the door? That might confuse him which is why he keeps knocking.

tried that a few times

of course but he has special needs but not registering with him

Open the door and tell him to go home.

Whats the context? Is he alone, with friends? Left unsupervised?

You need to be consistent. Say the same thing every time.
Go back home now please.
Then shut the door.

Talk to the parents again and if it doesn't stop then you have to consider whether a vulnerable child is being put at risk by the failure of the parents to ensure they are adequately supervised and whether that's something the school or social services should know about so they can offer support and advice.

Go and tell his parents. Just because he has special needs doesn’t mean this can continue. He’s either capable enough to be out alone and therefore has the capability to not keep doing it or else he is supervised and physically stopped by his carer.

Every time it happens, go and tell his parents. Just think how annoying you find it each time. Theoretically they will find it just as annoying to have you coming to them each time and will be proactive about doing something.

The dad hasn't done anything then basically. The child must be wandering around unsupervised I assume. Does he do it at any other houses?
I'd speak to the dad again first. As a mum of a son with special needs I wouldn't allow this to happen. Is the child verbal? Does he respond to you when you answer the door?

Go to his parents every single time.

The child's special needs do not overrule your right to peaceful enjoyment of your home.

I have to say how come he's outside unsupervised when he is so afflicted he cannot understand NO.

To be honest I'd ring social services, because this vulnerable child can't just be knocking on doors of strangers. You're not going to harm him, but who knows which other doors he might knock on?

Talk to the father again, and be very stern when you do so. If it doesn't immediately stop, I would be calling social services because this child is not be supervised appropriately. Imagine if this child knocked on the "wrong" door, and if the person behind that door is a sex offender? It is shameful that this vulnerable child isn't being looked after.

Absolutely agree with this.

If you feel you don't want to talk to his parents again - do you know the school he attends? You could report to the safeguarding person at his school.

I would be very firm and tell him that he isn't allowed to bang on your door. I would walk him home and explain to his parent that you don't want this to continue as it is intolerable. They surely have a lock on their door or some way to keep him in their house? It's simply not safe for a DC with learning disabilities to be roaming around the neighbourhood, banging on people's doors, and he's not your responsibility. You need to be firm with his parents too. They're clearly not keeping him safe and he's making a nuisance of himself.

Thanks everyone. He lives 7 or 8 doors up the road. they say they're keeping an eye on him but every time he leaves his house its like he makes a bee line for my house. He then waits outside the driveway for me to answer. Once I open he goes off on his scooter

What does he do or say when you answer the door?

how far from yours is his house?

is it the same time of day/same day? Week days/weekends? (Just wondering if it's someone minding him after school or his parents allowing him to this??)

Depending on what the Dad was like when DH spoke to him I'd either go and talk to the parents to find out what's going on or report to SS, if the Dad wasn't very nice.

@Eimsryan your name change has failed?!?! It shouldn't be able to do that on a thread. Maybe report it to MN.

if he isn't 'allowed' out by himself, they need a lock on the door. If he's not safe out alone he shouldn't be able to keep getting out.

OP do you own a hose pipe?

Go to his parents every single time.

Tell them how long it has been going on for and that you have now reached the end of your rope with it. Say that if it doesn't now stop permanently you will be reporting to social services and maybe also the police.

You need to make them sit up and take notice of you. This child may be vulnerable and unsafe to be out on his own.

A raised voice sometimes gets the message across where nothing else will.

My sister had similar issues with a child who used to live next door to her.

You definitely need to speak to his parents again, and pretty firmly. This kid is being a massive nuisance to you. It's his parents' responsibility to make sure his behaviour is under control regardless of whether he has special needs or not.

We had something similar but without the special needs element which makes things a bit harder.

There's a couple of kids in our street who I thought at first were nice kids around 8/9 They knocked one day asking to wash our car, I allowed them (that was my first mistake)

they made an absolute dogs dinner of it, we had to go to actual car wash that evening, still I gave them a fiver and thought that'd be the end of it. NOPE!

they asked again a few days later and I put them off. Then they started coming to the door saying things like "do you want to buy this book for £4?" Like wtf? No 😂

they take random things from their parents house and try and sell it to the neighbours. It's very strang. And after more encounters with them I've realised they're not actually very nice kids (a lot of swearing and bad behaviour, bullying each other and what not)
annoyingly they don't even live on my road they live on the road behind but because mine looks onto the playing field they annoy my street.

well now when they come to door I roll my eyes. Open the door only slightly and say no Thankyou in an exasperated tone. I feel a bit bad but it's like 3-4 times a week, trying to wash my car with mud or sell me their mums cigs. Like no Thankyou jeez 😂😂