Newborn at wedding

[wandatotherescue]

I have recently found out that I'm pregnant unexpectedly, it's a big shock as I am on the pill and haven't noticed any symptoms and I'm already over 2 months pregnant! I always expected it would take a while as I have PCOS but we're delighted. The due date is in Jan and we are due to get married in Portugal in April next year. I would love some MN wisdom is it daft to get married with a 3 month old new born? We have the option to push it back, I think the hotel for the wedding has some dates later in the summer or 2026. Is there a baby age that is the easiest?

Taken to account what age the baby will be and the heat over there as well I'd probably go ahead in April if it were me .

They will be 3 minth old, a small baby, definitely not newborn.
It depends unfortunately on the baby, you could have a placid, relaxed baby or you could have a high needs baby. However it's probably also the easiest age to get Marr with. They don't do much, they stay in one place and will probably sleep alot!

It all depends are your birth, recovery and baby. My baby was born two weeks last and I will in hospital until she was nearly 2 weeks, recovering from major surgery and spesis with a baby with undiagnosed allergies. For me it would have been hell on earth.

Can you bring the wedding forward and have a shotgun wedding.
Could be a lot more fun though you won't be drinking.

My babies would both have been fine at a wedding at that point (but I know it’s not the case for everyone).

You would have to get your skates on to get a passport for them though. It’s doable (I took a 7 week old abroad), but you’d be stuffed if there were any delays with registering the birth or queries from the passport office.

I think that April will be okay. You'll have had time to recover, it won't be too hot, and small babies can be easier than older ones.
And congratulations!

Completely depends on the baby. If you have an easy going baby it’ll be fine, if not then it may be hard at that age. What age is easier will also depend as they’re all different. Sorry not very helpful but it really does depend on the baby.

Thanks for advice so far! I don't want to bring it forward as we are in process of buying a house which is now even more important with the baby. Also to add we do have lots of family support and parents on both side who will be very helpful on the day

I agree that bringing it forward would be most fun. You'll probably be fine in April though, it's just that positive enjoyment might be tricky. If however you have a very supportive family who will be around and you're happy to pass the baby about (some people find they're not) I'd stick to your original plan.

Assuming you don't live there - is that definitely enough time to get a passport sorted for the baby even if they're two weeks late? And would doing so add a lot of stress to your first few weeks together?

Congratulations on your pregnancy!

Thanks for all the congrats - so excited! I hadn't even considered the passport element so I will look into that

It’s very dependent on you and your baby. I would’ve had no issues getting married when either of mine were 3 months old, they were easy babies and good sleepers. Whereas I have friends who hadn’t slept for more than about 2 hours at a time at 3 months, with babies who refused to be put down or were colicky. There’s absolutely no way of knowing until baby is born. If you get a ‘easy’ baby though 3 months would be a great age as they’ll likely sleep through the ceremony and won’t have developed any separation anxiety yet so you should be able to easily pass them off to others throughout the day.

Just saw above, getting a passport should be fine. We took our youngest abroad at 12 weeks old, applied for his passport at about 3 weeks old and had it back within a few weeks and that was when the passport offices were striking last year.

DIL has 2 babies. The first one ( now 2)had a crisis if she put him down, the second one ( now 5 months) was totally chilled from birth ,smiley and always delighted to be with anyone. First baby, wedding very tricky. Second baby, easy- peasey.

I'd go for it. In my experience 3 month old babies are quite easy holiday companions compared to toddlers.

Ps congratulations on both wedding and baby!

It will be fine, not the same as before you had kids but lovely all the same, just allocate someone to be on child duty during the ceremony eg my friends husband was on "take baby outside if crying" duty. Otherwise it's really much different, I just chose a dress with a simple zip at the back no buttons or corsetry, so I could slip off to feed dd a couple of times (not in public!) I then changed later evening into a skirt and top I could easily feed.

Passport should not be an issue, the key is to register the birth asap so you can apply for the passport, my DDs came through really quickly, I flew at 6 weeks

I would have done it with both mine at that age. And if I was in your shoes tbh I would go ahead esp as you have family around to help. It's an easier age just in terms of they don't move, they just have milk so no other food prep is required or mess to constantly clean (weaning is so very delightful and messy 😀) at that age they aren't as routine rigid as say a 9m old might be and appreciate this is different for everyone but they will sleep more at 3m than 6m/12m etc. Again different for everyone but I know so many people who had super chill babies until they hit the 4m regression so 3m sounds safe come what may ahead!

Honestly depends how the birth was and what sort of baby you have but at 3 months not a newborn so you should have got into some pattern (or not everyone is different)...the passport could be hard to get quick. Honestly I'd try and get married before the birth in this country so to take the pressure off and maybe have a family holiday. Congratulations. xxx

Hard to say - also depends if you're talking an intimate wedding or an all night rave type one.

3 months is quite easy for travel but if they are not a sleeper or high demand you may have just spent 3 months feeling like you are being hit by a bus every day. If you have family support on hand though you may be able to manage. I'd say if you do this, try to get baby used to sleeping in different places/in pram. I am so glad both of mine could nap anywhere, it made life much easier when they were tiny.

But mazel tov on both wedding and baby, either way

Congrats! I guess for me timing wouldn't be ideal. In my experience a lot of wedding prep, deposit payments etc need to be done couple months before wedding which may feel hectic with a small baby. Also bear in mind you would need to sort out baby passport very quickly after they are born once birth registered. I would personally say 2026 would be more chilled option..

I agree a 3 month old is probably the easiest age (depending on baby) and I happily took mine to a couple of weddings at that age. However I think if I was breastfeeding it would be quite tricky to be the bride - will it work with your dress? What if they are starving and need a feed right at the ceremony moment? Probably depends on how relaxed your plans are and how you want the wedding to be. Later on feels like it could be more predictable in terms of recovery, feeding etc

as others have said it will be a gamble at any age you don’t know what kind of baby or toddler you are getting but they’re your child so whatever happens you won’t mind and they won’t spoil your day. Have you got your dress already? It might be tricky in that it might not fit you at 3m post partum and when would you have to get alterations is it not 12 weeks before which would mean your alterations fitting would be like 40 weeks pregnant or a few weeks PP which then obviously won’t be the same as your 3m PP body, might be tricky.

Definitely depends on the baby. My baby was high needs and a poor sleeper, didn't like to be put down. But would have been easier to take him away at 3 months than when he was a bit older.

Assuming you'll have family/friends there who will be willing to help with baby during the day? I'd probably go for it x

Like others have said, a lot will depend on baby's temperament. How baby feeds will play a big role too. There is variation between EBF babies about how long they spend on each feed, and how often they feed. If formula feeding, much easier to have family help on the day.

Also worth thinking about how you'll be feeling/doing. I have 2 kids.
After baby no 1: my post partum recovery/well being was much slower. I don't think I would have felt comfortable to be "on display" at such an early stage.

It does seem like a lot of pressure to organize and prepare your wedding, compared to the prospect of traveling to attend someone else's. What if you or baby have medical issues/ PPA/PPD/ etc?

Hope everything goes smoothly with your pregnancy from here, and good luck for your wedding.