Newborn at wedding

[wandatotherescue]

I have recently found out that I'm pregnant unexpectedly, it's a big shock as I am on the pill and haven't noticed any symptoms and I'm already over 2 months pregnant! I always expected it would take a while as I have PCOS but we're delighted. The due date is in Jan and we are due to get married in Portugal in April next year. I would love some MN wisdom is it daft to get married with a 3 month old new born? We have the option to push it back, I think the hotel for the wedding has some dates later in the summer or 2026. Is there a baby age that is the easiest?

I got married when my baby was 5 months old (although locally). It was generally fine but here are a few things to consider:

1. I was breastfeeding so needed a dress that I could easily access my breasts. I did express and thankfully she took bottles but my boobs would have exploded without a couple of feeds throughout the day.

2. Even with family around to help she was still very attached to me. I didn’t mind but you can’t drink much when you’ve got a limpet baby that you need to occasionally breastfeed.

3. My body had only just shrunk to a near normal size at 5 months. I didn’t put any pressure on myself to lose weight as I prioritised enjoying the first few months of my baby’s life but the weight naturally came off with breastfeeding (as it had with my older DC)

4. we had to take her on honeymoon as no way way I emotionally ready (even if it wasn’t for breastfeeding) to be apart from her overnight

5. The lead up to the wedding is quite busy. I found that being on maternity leave actually helped that but I didn’t do baby classes/coffee with fellow mums as much as previous maternity leaves. I was instead meeting with florists, nipping into town to buy flower girl shoes,hunting online for honeymoons etc etc.

6. you might not be getting a whole lot of sleep and family can’t really help with that. At one point, DH and I did the whole night in shifts because DD wouldn’t sleep unless one of us was holding her.

of course you also have the added complication of taking a small baby abroad and being very careful to keep the baby out of the sun.

I’d go ahead with it. 3 months is easier than an 18 month old if you do postpone. Also you mention you have family who would help out etc.

You should be fine!
Baby is young enough that hiring a babysitter to help out there on the day should be fine.
You can still have a drink.

If your friends and family have booked flights and hotels I would go ahead. If no one else has then move it a year if you want, but you might also be pregnant again by then.

You can get a week fast tracked - just register the baby's birth and apply as soon as you can. Only you can register baby birth if you're unmarried, so you might want to consider registry office wedding before you are born so that your fiance has the right to do this and also so that he has parental responsibility from day one in case anything happens to you in birth

I would probably go for it, babies are easier to travel with at 3 months compared to 6 months because of food and if they're old enough to crawl they'll be harder to keep track of!
Also the heat in summer won't be great with a young baby, April is better.
You'll have to figure out a plan for feeding if you're breastfeeding, regular breaks through the day and a room where you can have privacy if you need to take your dress off for access!

My dd got married with a 6 week old. It was fine. Mind you, there was a certain amount of Granny walking up and down with baby Gdd when she was getting a little bit fractious.

Why is it easier? Imo 3 month old seems harder imo. Mum could be frequently breastfeeding, baby likely not in a routine yet with feeding, naps etc..

I still felt lumpy and horrible at 3 months post birth so would probably push it on a year.

Aww congratulations!! I think 3 months is a lovely time to get married! You'll be in the rhythm of things by then, for both of mine I found the 3 month stage quite easy - you're in the rhythm with feeding and naps, but baby is not on the move yet. Baby isn't worried about separating from you yet so will probably be quite happy with someone else holding them while you get married, and you won't need to worry about them being naughty or having a tantrum (which would be worries if you delayed it by a year or two or three!). 3 months is perfect, I wouldn't change it!

This. Some of them sleep all the time, some scream all the time, some a combination but there's no way of knowing until it arrives.

I'd postpone the wedding then you can enjoy it more.

As an aside why Portugal, unless you live there but I'm guessing not with your passport comment.

I don't understand why people have weddings abroad, why not get married in your home country so guests don't feel obliged to spend all their hard earned money on flights accommodation etc. Just go there for your honeymoon?

Wrong! You could have a reflux, very unsettled baby and colic too at that age. If you go ahead make sure that you have someone who is completely dedicated to the baby. It is most likely if you are BF too that they will need fed, sleep where?

In terms of logistics, yes they’ll need a passport. You will also need to add them to your flight - pretty sure you can do that now and then just add their personal information later, but I may be wrong. Best to call and check, and move to an extra legroom seat if there are any available. Baby change is generally at the back of the plane, legroom with an infant normally at the front. Also contact your hotel and find out about travel cot, or you should be able to take one for free when you fly. Check infant luggage allowance with your airline.

Will you be hiring a car? You’ll need to either take a car seat or add one to the booking.

DD was hard work as an infant, reflux and wouldn’t be put down. At 2.5 months suddenly stopped napping in her pram. Find a sling/baby carrier in those first few months and I would ask a member of the family to practise baby wearing so they are a familiar presence. If bottle fed, you will need to sterilise bottles in the hotel room - we travelled with a collapsible sink and used Milton tablets which was much easier than I thought it would be!

Having said all that, I would do it. A friend moved her wedding forwards when family came to the UK to meet her baby and she has gorgeous photos of her child as well as wedding photos.

If I were you I'd delay the wedding. You don't know how you'll feel but you'll likely find it difficult to really enjoy the day with the sleep deprivation etc.
We got married when our baby was 9 months and in hindsight even that was bit mad.

Yes I didn't go into details but I also had this - a month in and out of hospital for both of us and a baby that screamed 24/7 due to undiagnosed allergies. The early days can be bliss; but they can be hell.

Do you need to get married abroad?

We got married when our baby was 4 months old and then took her abroad on honeymoon with us. It was absolutely fine! Now she's starting to crawl I'm glad we didn't wait as I imagine it only gets harder. I'm more anxious about our next holiday now I have to have eyes in the back of my head 😂

My husband and I weren't married when our baby was born but we went to the register office together to register her birth, his name is on the birth certificate.

I got married with a 3 month-old and an 18 months old: the baby was definitely easier to manage than the toddler, so I would probably keep the dates if I were you. At that age they don't really care whose arms they are in as long are they are fed and changed!

I would advise you to find a very trusted family member or trusted friend (with kids or used to watch babies) to care for the baby for the day. I was very lucky to have my brother in law whose kids are teens to help in that way. He recruited one of my friend to help so they could take turn.

We had the pushchair and car seat out for them to use, had packed up the fridge with expressed milk, and we had formula as back up. I was only expressing during the wedding day as it was too difficult to feed with my dress, but I think you can get your dress modified for breast feeding if you want to.

That’s the easiest age for travelling with a baby imo especially if you breastfeed. I’d stick with the plan! How exciting! Baby, house and wedding!!

You can name the father on the birth certificate, but I’m pretty sure legally an unmarried father can’t register the birth alone. Certainly that was the case when we registered DD.

We took our EBF, terrible sleeper 3 month old to France in December and it was actually a really nice holiday

I would bring the wedding forward without a doubt - I just can't imagine enjoying my wedding day if I'm caring for a baby too.

Yes, this was true for us too, the father can't go alone to the appointment if you are not legally married.

Agree, it all depends on the baby and your recovery.

Assuming everything goes smoothly - I would either try to move wedding up to pre-baby or stay with the April plan. Things won’t be getting less complicated so may as well get married when they are most manageable!

Btw, I currently have a 3 month old (and two older children).