Anyone ever re registered a birth, can you help me with this please? Very anxious

[wprriep]

Next month I have an appointment to re register my daughter’s birth to add her dad to the certificate. He left me before birth and left the country so was unable to be added the first time (he specifically said he didn’t want to be on it). I am worrying a lot about whether they will ask the reason for the re registration/why he wasn’t on it the first time? I have huge trauma from what happened and whilst I am ok now (and happy for him to be on it) I really don’t want to have to re live it and explain the circumstances back then. Does anyone know if they will ask this?

Do not put him on it

Are you serious

@thisisasurvivor that wasn’t my question. I just want to know if they will ask.

It might not be your question but it will certainly be many other people’s.
Don’t be daft OP… you have a child to think about.

I’m not sure if they will ask, however if they do just explain that he wasn’t in the country at the time and has only just become available to be added on - try not to stress and don’t worry, you shouldn’t need to explain any more than that if they do ask!

Is this the same guy who didn’t turn up for an appointment to have him put on it a week or so ago?

@hg167 ex is saying he wants to say he doesn’t want to answer if they ask. He is ashamed and doesn’t want it recorded and I just feel stressed about having to re live it. I hope it’s just a formal admin thing.

Why the hell are you adding him? He doesn't sound like much of a dad.

Too right he should be ashamed but seriously he can make your life SO difficult if you put him on the birth certificate. In many cases with a man like this it’s regretted for many years by the mother (professional and personal life experience).

Oh and if it needs to be said, don’t give the child your ex’s surname.

He’s been in her life a few years now. I am ok with him being on there. Plus he could just apply to go on there anyway even if I resisted.

Then let him take the responsibility to do it!

I reregistered my son when he was 16. His dad left me when I was pregnant but we managed to resolve issues enough that he was a part of my sons life.
It was across two countries but no questions were asked except are you the father - it was very business like - no intrusive questions.

It was useful in that my son is now a dual national but he didn’t change his surname and I didn’t share parental responsibility

hope that helps

Is there a good reason why his name is to be on it? Is he a bit unreliable?

I know you don't want to hear negativity, but I'm always a bit wary of dads from other countries wanting to be on birth certificates and passports in case their family want them to 'bring the child on holiday' which turns into a kidnapping and the mother never sees her child again as she has no rights in that country...

So be sure you want this change made.

All the mums that lost kids this way probably wanted to do the right thing and put dad on the passport etc.
I'd resist. Let him do it if he must.

Sorry if I'm way out of order, just trying to help. I have been on MN too long to not have The Fear!

If the father wants to go on the birth certificate there is very little a mother can do to prevent it happening.

I doubt they will ask.
When a couple is unmarried the father has to be there when the registration takes place. Because of that there are a lot of dads not on the certificate.
(from watching many an episode of Jeremy Kyle a lot of dads aren't on the birth certificate because "I couldn't get time off work to go to the appointment")
So many people don't even realise that rule. I think it was the leader of the Liberal Democrats who didn't even realise and went to register his new baby by himself but discovered he couldn't do it because he wasn't married to the mother at the time.
There will be 1001 reasons why a dad's name isn't on the original certificate - I seriously doubt the registrar will be that interested.
You will just be one appointment in their busy day.

‘I think it was the leader of the Liberal Democrats who didn't even realise and went to register his new baby by himself but discovered he couldn't do it because he wasn't married to the mother at the Time’.

It was Ed Milliband, at the time Leader of the Opposition. Nice demonstration of competence there.

I don’t see how ‘the father’ can be added without the mother’s active participation, as suggested upthread. Surely anyone could just turn up and put their name on a ‘un fathered’ child. The registrars are not investigative officials, they follow the rules ( though will report suspicious activities like forced or convenience ‘marriages’)

@Allthegoodnamesarechosen oh yes that's the guy - I just had his party wrong 😂

@Needmorelego

so did he…..

He can do this all by himself op, stop facilitating this shameful POS and make him take responsibility for his past misdeeds, it's the very least he can do.

Just state he wasn't able to attend the appointment due to being out of the country and you have only just got around to doing it, they won't press further, just make sure you want this

So let him handle it? I have to say that him saying he’s going to refuse to answer any questions about why he wasn’t there when the OP’s daughter was first registered makes him sound belligerent and incapable of taking responsibility for his own shitty actions.

If the father wants to go on the birth certificate there is very little a mother can do to prevent it happening.

Maybe but the father will have to jump through a few hoops to get there if the mother is not in agreement, and even then he won't automatically get parental rights.

You are overthinking. If they do ask just tell them he was away working at the time.

They are not going to ask for details of why you want to add the father now and didn’t before.
You can just say, ´we’re reregistering to include her father on the certificate.´ You don’t have to volunteer the ins and outs of why now and not then. It’s a regular occurrence for the registry office, they won’t bat an eyelid.

Yes, me too. Too many dads take kids on holidays and never return... Also if he is on there he can cause issues with stopping you taking DC abroad (I know a man who delighted in vetoeing holidays for his kids because he could). It's often used as a tool to be vindictive against the mother with no thought to the actual child.