Boyfriend wanted to borrow money the day before my birthday.

[classactorintraining]

Been stewing on this since Saturday. It was my birthday yesterday. Boyfriend of 5 years gave me a card. We would normally do presents around £30-£50.

On Saturday evening, he asked me to lend him a few hundred until he gets paid on Friday. He cancelled plans to go out for the day with me yesterday because he didn’t have the money. I said we could do something free but he didn’t want to. I met a friend instead.

He picks up as much or as little work as he wants. Fairly well paid per hour but doesn’t work many hours. There’s no reason for him to be skint except laziness.

AIBU to be upset by this lack of effort? To top it off, he’s just said he wants something costing about £1k for his birthday in a couple of months. I laughed at him, thinking it was a joke, now he’s sulking.

How is this a question?

Stop stewing.

Get rid.

Be happy.

Job done.

Ick.

Why haven’t you dumped him?
Genuine question, not flippant.

I'm not materialistic but the fact that he didn't bother getting you anything or taking you out for your birthday just shows a lack of thought and care. The fact that he borrows money from you and expects expensive presents is even worse! I'd dump this freeloader, he's a waste of space.

Dump

I had to look up ornamental cabbages. Never heard of them.

Tbf they ARE very pretty. Like enormous roses. 🌹

OP - agree with the majority here. He "needs gone"
You can do better.

Clear dumping ground in the basis that he is mentally in the space of being into his mates nit settling down territory. I had an ex like that, never had money to do stuff with me but always found money for cider etc 🙄

I really loved him but we broke up and I found someone new in just a few months - my husband of 10+ years. Ex dated around and did much the same until about 2 years ago.

The short version is that he is using you for a good time. He isn't a partner with a future. Save yourself years of heartache.

Wow, that’s pretty unanimous! I had been wondering if I was being a bit selfish or grabby when normally I’m not materialistic at all. I’d have been happy with a £5 bunch of peonies, my favourite flowers.

We live together and rent went out last Friday, so that’ll be why he needed the money- to get by until this Friday. I do earn more but I work bloody hard, long hours for it.

What is the £1000 present he wants out of interest op?

What a loser.
Give yourself the best birthday present and dump him.
What exactly is the point of going out with and moving in with such losers?
I really don't get it.
Precious years wasted with selfish lazy wasters.
And then huge surprise when the morph into selfish lazy shite husbands and fathers🤦‍♀️.....it was all there from the beginning if you care to look at what is right there in front of you.
He couldn't care less. Using you as his personal bank.🙄

Do you earn more per hour or do you work more? Or both?

End it. You get one life. Just one.

Is this really the guy?

He’s taking the mick. Basically you are working hard so he doesn’t have to.

What you've got there is a cocklodger.

I agree with every single one of the PPs.
This may be a candidate for my top ten of shit bf threads.
Not the husbands as they are in a league of their own sometimes!

Get rid.

No, don't saddle yourself with this waste of space

What a loser. Don’t waste your time with this idiot.

I really want to know what this 1k present is he asked for!

Cheeky sod. Adding my vote to DTMFA

Not grabb. It’s normal to expect a present on your birthday.

Yes, a cocklodger. How are finances shared? Dies he contribute to rent, bills, expenses or is he always short of money?

I’m guessing you’re late twenties/thirties. What do you want for the future? Buying a house? Children? Think carefulky. Are you realistically going to achieve this with this guy (aka sponger)? This is definantly the wake-up call you’ve needed. .

You earn more….why? Are you paid more per hour than him or do you work more hours for the money you earn? The answer to that question will tell you all you need to know.

He's a total waste of space and you're an absolute fool to be with him.

Talk about saving up for a house together.
If that wont get him working more - leave him.

He seems like a Peter Pan.

Is this real?
Seriously, how does someone who bought you nothing for your birthday ask for a £1000 gift for theirs?
He thinks you're there for his service and requirements.