AIBU to “steal” this?

[AmiABadPersonn]

Hello everyone I just want your opinions on this as today I’ve been in a heated argument with my friend as to wether I am unreasonable or not.

I am off work on maternity leave so the funds are tight at minute. There is a man who lives near me I believe he is drug user, he sells half price stuff and also takes orders on what you want for half price. He knocks on my house about 1 or 2 times a week with a bag of half price goods. I always buy washing detergent and softeners from him because you can get a whole weeks laundry of the nice brands for around £10. Money is tight as I have just had a baby and I have 2 other children with my husband also. i also sometimes get baby milk formula from him if I’m running low because it’s cheap.

I feel like this is not wrong because if I didn’t buy it other people would. Even if no one bought it he would steal it anyway in hopes someone would buy it eventually.

Today my friend was at my house when he came so I offered her to have a look what he had. She immediately asked him where he got this stuff from and he replied “shop”. She didn’t say much after but when I finished buying my items she started shouting about how I’m funding his drugs addiction and I shouldn’t support it because I am now stealing too. I told her to relax it’s fine it’s only a couple of items. She didn’t say much and finished her coffee and left quick.

So am I morally wrong for this? Or would you do the same?

and you'll be whining when they start shoplifting etc as teenagers.

No she won't. She will be giving them "shopping" lists.

She didn’t say she can’t afford it, she said things are tight. If she’s willingly and knowingly buying stolen goods from a drug addict she didn’t have much of a moral compass to start with.

@MartyFunkhouser unfortunately this is actually standard practice in some areas! Mainly council estates in low income areas! Have you never watched Shameless? 🙈🤣

She didn’t say she can’t afford it, she said things are tight

And if things are tight, you don't buy pointless shit like scent balls!

I personally don't think you have a moral dilemma here. You buy in good faith. Not as if you're doing anything wrong. Carnal lust, sins of the flesh etc. are an entirely different matter

You know it's wrong.

This thread is maddening. Those handful of people that agree with OP because it’s stealing from big supermarkets, even though that price is passed on to the customer (consumerism), as some sort of fuck you to the man are the same people buying into consumerism 101 - laundry balls. These things are a relatively new product to the market, maybe 5 years? So a few years ago P&G/Unilever execs thought to themselves how can they make more money and someone came up with laundry balls.

P&G/Unilever then paid a marketing agency a small fortune to convince people that your clothes being in a continuously moving drum of warm water and soap for an hour isn’t enough to clean them, so buy this product that literally washes away to make it smell fresher longer. But P&G/Unilever didn’t mind lying the small fortune because they knew they’d get that money back on spades because people are gullible, so they bought it. Not thinking about the chemicals on theirs and their children’s skin or that it’s washing these chemicals into a river (because if water companies can’t deal with shit, which can be broken through organic processes, they definitely can’t deal with these chemicals). Then to get even more money, they sent the products to influencers who make content (to get paid) putting these pointless chemical balls you literally wash away into glass containers in their utility. And people watch it and think “I want to have the all white utility and the glass jars and the laundry balls are a must”.

If you want to stick it to the man, stop buying (or stealing) stuff like this. One of the clearest examples of consumerism I can think of. Don’t endorse stealing, those costs are passed on to customers and it’s retail workers on low incomes that have to deal with shoplifters. The logic is so flawed but I guess anything to justify the behaviour.

Theft from shops puts the prices up long-term.
Plus you're encouraging him to steal - if nobody bought stuff from him, there would be no point in him stealing.
Plus by buying from him you're enabling his addiction as your money becomes money to buy drugs.

She literally says in the first post that she knows it's stolen. So that's not buying "in good faith" by anyone's definition.

But she wouldn't be short anyway because this is crap she doesn't need. That was my point. Nobody needs fabric softener or scent balls. I have never used that stuff and my laundry is still clean.

If you want formula at our local co op you have to get it from the kiosk!! We've got cheese locked in plastic boxes which are unlocked at the till.

OP you're funding someone drug habit, encouraging them to steal, handling g stolen goods, being part of the reason everyone else has to pay higher prices in supermarkets and happily justifying ot as ok because he steals from Asda and not small businesses..what of he decided it was OK to burgle you because it was better than stealing from the lady down the road who could only afford non branded laudery products?

And by the way he's ripping you off on the cost of laundry products

Depressingly, this sort of theft to order is all too common. Supermarkets are mostly helpless in the face of it as it’s not worth a poor security guard getting stabbed over.

Times are hard for everyone right now. Struggling to make ends meet. I went on the game but I know that it is not for everyone

@MartyFunkhouser
This is very commonplace, order to shoplift, available in many local
pubs, not every one lives in London in their cosseted life.

these comments are making me laugh! some mumsnet users love the ‘i’m better than you’ stance while in reality im sure if they were offered a bargain (fenced or not) would take it.

you are completely right he would sell it to someone else if you weren’t buying, he would just become more desperate and sell it for cheaper.

Oh 100% I would explore the cheaper supermarket alternatives. But it might well be the case here that branding not actually relevant, it’s the fact that the goods he is selling door to door are cheaper than any no brand name equivalent the supermarket is selling.

The £10 a week is on laundry pods, softener , stain remover and laundry scent balls from persil or lenor. The balls alone are £8 in Asda.

Scentballs? For fucks sake, if you want scent balls pay for them.
You and your thief cost everyone else money. It's not ok to steal

@armyofants this is indeed the sort of things that are stolen to order. Expensive luxury and essential items. Razor blades are another example. When I had the misfortune to live in a rundown area many years ago, they would actually come round with trolleys full of these things and joints of meat etc. They would literally fill a trolley in Morrisons and walk out the store with it!

Can you apply for a Healthy Start Card? They are for low income parents with children under 4, to buy milk, fruit & veg for pregnant mothers and children up to 4 y.o.
Do you have a food bank nearby?

Person with trolley could later be found in the stairwell of a block of flats off their head on crack!

You're incredibly close to the fire here OP.
Not only are you making it worthwhile for him to steal which has a whole host of problems for everyone else,

You are also allowing these people close to you. Oh its alright when Junkie Steve has got £200 worth of studd hs can peddle for half price to get his drugs for the day.

BUT when junkie Steve hasn't been able to steal, guess what he knows? He knows you. He knows your movements, he knows your car, he will have picked up all sorts of information, and he will use that to feed his addiction when he's pressed up against it.

I'm not saying this from an afar, oh it could potentially happen. I'm telling you from experience.
My Dad had a friend who was using, he tapped into my dad's routine, took things my dad didn't know would go missing. Stole parcels from outside his flat.
They fell out, made friends again when my Dad started using. The knowledge my Dad had was passed on... they were using as a group of 3. The woman he and his friend were using with became known to me, from the footage from the ring cameras on the front and back of my house.
My shed has been ransacked numerous times, they tried to burgle my house, my car has been broken into numerous times.
They know my routine and tbh, I would just advise keeping these people away from your door. They will steal and sell everything that isn't nailed down. One of my kids prams was even stolen out of my car boot. If you're hard up enough that you're trying to save on washing powder, imagine finding the money to replace a pram that was nicked out of your car.
My marriage broke down a few months ago, and I started to carefully budget with cash... I wanted to be certain I had the milk money for the kids for the week. Getting 2 kids out of the car I must have forgot it was there. Within an hour one of the local addicts was captured breaking into my car and taking the money.it wouldn't have been visible, but it does seem that it's now known that I have "stuff" that can be sold. I'm not rich. I don't have things on show but my lifestyle and routine is known by some of the local addicts and I think it's made me a target.

If I couldn't afford to feed my children, you bet I'd probably take this route.

Well done on all those with a moral standing who'd let their child go hungry.

I do think though that if you cut out spending so much on fragrance for your laundry you'd be better off all round. Clearly you're feeling some guilt over this.

I'm not sure it's 'unethical'. The law has neither ethics nor morals (nor should it have) but receiving (that is, buying goods you think or know are stolen) is illegal. And ignorance is no defence.

I do remember that in many places I have worked one of the ancillary staff has had a line in selling e.g. jumpers - which we all knew had probably fallen off the back of a lorry, but still bought. Causing waves with the particular ancillary was a highroad to a whole load of problems, anyway.

It's called resetting stolen goods for which you can be charged

I'm sure this has been said already, but there is no way this one man is doing this on his own. Does he have his own warehouse to store all the "shopping" for people? His own mini Asda? If everyone is buying from him, he can hardly have enough time to service his own addictions never mind everyone's shopping needs.

The likelihood is the stolen goods aren't stolen on an individual basis, or by this guy. If he is an addict, it's surely more likely he is selling this stuff on behalf of the actual robdogs in order to get given his fix. Plus if anyone gets lifted by the police for handling stolen goods, it'll be him who goes to jail (and people like you @AmiABadPersonn who get a wee visit from the police too).

Wise up. And stop buying so much laundry stuff. With kids in the house you'll need stain remover and washing powder. Unless you know your family have allergies to Aldi or Lidl stuff, then buy it from there. If they are too far away, then find your nearest supermarket and buy their own brand version. It does not need to be persil and Lenor.