AIBU to “steal” this?

[AmiABadPersonn]

Hello everyone I just want your opinions on this as today I’ve been in a heated argument with my friend as to wether I am unreasonable or not.

I am off work on maternity leave so the funds are tight at minute. There is a man who lives near me I believe he is drug user, he sells half price stuff and also takes orders on what you want for half price. He knocks on my house about 1 or 2 times a week with a bag of half price goods. I always buy washing detergent and softeners from him because you can get a whole weeks laundry of the nice brands for around £10. Money is tight as I have just had a baby and I have 2 other children with my husband also. i also sometimes get baby milk formula from him if I’m running low because it’s cheap.

I feel like this is not wrong because if I didn’t buy it other people would. Even if no one bought it he would steal it anyway in hopes someone would buy it eventually.

Today my friend was at my house when he came so I offered her to have a look what he had. She immediately asked him where he got this stuff from and he replied “shop”. She didn’t say much after but when I finished buying my items she started shouting about how I’m funding his drugs addiction and I shouldn’t support it because I am now stealing too. I told her to relax it’s fine it’s only a couple of items. She didn’t say much and finished her coffee and left quick.

So am I morally wrong for this? Or would you do the same?

And OP has no idea whether or not her supplier has passed her name on to his mates as a soft touch, either. Plus, as people have said, he knows the inside of her house and if she has anything worth stealing if his other side hustle dries up.

Unless I was literally on the bones of my arse (eg, down to my last tenner) I would not commit reset, no. Or want a drug addicted thief on my doorstep regularly.

OP said he is stealing to order so at least some of those items would still be on the store shelves had she not given him her shopping list.

I can understand people behaving in a certain way when they are desperate. But OP seems shocked by her friend’s response and wants to know whether she’s morally wrong OR other people would do the same.

The two are not mutually exclusive. One could do something because they’re absolutely desperate that they would never otherwise do, and whilst it’s completely understandable and some would turn a blind eye to it, it’s still morally wrong.

Honestly you sound a bit thick if you don’t understand the connection.

But 'they' do miss it. Supermarkets turn over a lot of cash, a lot of money but the profit margins are actually pretty low as it's a saturated market and ultra competitive.

All of the big supermarkets now spend more and more money of thefts deterrents and that's only going up.
Security guards, CCTV, tags, boxes, security doors, body worn cameras, staff training.
Police are spending more and more of their resources of dealing with the same relentless thieves

All because you want stuff cheaper from.a.drug addict.

It's crazy and the number of people that Its ok to steal from 'supermarkets' - it isn't. It really, really isn't ok.

And it costs us all money, so the rest of us are subsidizing your shitty choices. I really hope you've lost a friend over this, you deserve far worse.

Well that’s ok then 🙄 Honestly OP, just give it up. You haven’t had the response you were hoping for, you need to accept this is wrong. You’re no better than a thief yourself.

I can see why people buy from them, but no, you shouldn't do it. You are funding his habit.
You don't even need big brand names. There's cheaper store versions for most things now, even laundry bits and they're just as good - I use them.

I would imagine your friend is probably rethinking her friendship with you. I know I would be. You are associating with drug addict criminals and putting yourself and children at huge risk for some scent balls.
You are part of the problem. If you honestly think that this is fine and a good example to set your children you really need to take a long hard look at yourself.

I wonder how much PP thinks a wholesaler would charge for the goods, if after selling them at half their usual price the addict would still make enough money to fund their habit 😃

How do you know it isn't? There is a cost of living crisis. If you don't know someone's circumstances you shouldn't judge.

Yeah because it's that simple isn't it...

The £10 a week is on laundry pods, softener , stain remover and laundry scent balls from persil or lenor. The balls alone are £8 in Asda

All the people bleating about how unfortunate it is that "poor people" can't afford to feed their children and wash their clothes and therefore have to buy stolen goods instead. Boo hoo. Fucking LAUNDRY SCENT BALLS are not and have never been one of life's essentials. They are a pointless marketing gimmick, a luxury. OP is buying her luxuries, stolen, from the local junkie just in the same way that people buy watches or top-end mobile phones or designer clothing.

Disgusting behaviour, no justification whatsoever.

So when the druggie comes back desperate for money and gets abusive how you going to explain your connection to him to the police?

Lots of people are desperate for money right now but they don't resort to theft.

Being a small part of this guys story by buying stolen goods, whilst also being aware you are funding an addiction and possibly even someone who deals and spreads the joy of drugs further, isn't something that can be morally justified really, which is what you're asking. Robbing from big corporations aside, if everyone who bought from him stopped then he wouldnt steal, its supply and demand.
Obviously not everyone will stop but that dkesnt make it right for you, it just means you're part of the toxic cycle, a small but active part of it as a buyer of stolen goods. Noone is naive enough to think it won't continue but you are being unreasonable to try and find a way this isnt technically wrong.

And well done to your friend for having morals 👏🏻

Laundry "pods"?
Softener?
Scent balls?

When you can't afford baby formula?

Oh my giddy aunt.

Tesco stain remover, 1kg for £2.75
Tesco washing powder, 80 washes for £8. It's lovely and will last you quite some time longer than a week. Aldi is even cheaper but not so keen on the smell.

I think if you and your husband have a look at what you spend your money on, you can afford to live without resorting to funding druggies (and risking getting a crimial conviction for handling stolen goods), without missing out on any essentials.

At least you know that you can’t afford to have another child for a long time.

Ffs. I wouldn't come anywhere near your house if you were my friend.
Sort your head out. You can get arrested for receiving and handling stolen goods.
And to echo pp who the hell spends £10 a week on washing stuff. That's insane

She could achieve this much more easily just by stopping using utterly pointless stuff like laundry scent balls. She could also save herself from the risk of a criminal conviction into the bargain.

You’re committing a crime - handling stolen goods. Of course you are morally reprehensible.

Also, nobody needs softener or scent balls for their laundry.

If you don’t mind about being a mum with a criminal record, then just go for it! 👍🏼

I voted YABU because you don’t need fabric conditioner or those revolting scent things. So you’re aiding and abetting crime for no reason whatsoever.

Stop for a moment and just think about what you're facilitating here. I accept times might be hard (though frankly your laundry costs are baffling) but even so.

He's an addict and therefore likely to be vulnerable and desperate.

He is stealing high value items to fund his addiction.

Stealing things for people like you who will buy them might result in him going to prison or overdosing. Do you want to be connected to that just so you can use branded laundry pods at supermarket brand prices?

Shops increase prices to compensate for their losses so you're indirectly contributing to that as well.

And you've said yourself that sometimes he hasn't sold stuff so it's not a case of others will buy it if you don't.

On every possible level what you're doing is a terrible idea.

Someone should stage an intervention. The OP's lenor habit is spiralling out of control and affecting her ability to feed her children.

It's wrong but needs must sometime. I agree though with the poster who said don't buy baby milk from him. Your friend isn't very nice.