AIBU to “steal” this?

[AmiABadPersonn]

Hello everyone I just want your opinions on this as today I’ve been in a heated argument with my friend as to wether I am unreasonable or not.

I am off work on maternity leave so the funds are tight at minute. There is a man who lives near me I believe he is drug user, he sells half price stuff and also takes orders on what you want for half price. He knocks on my house about 1 or 2 times a week with a bag of half price goods. I always buy washing detergent and softeners from him because you can get a whole weeks laundry of the nice brands for around £10. Money is tight as I have just had a baby and I have 2 other children with my husband also. i also sometimes get baby milk formula from him if I’m running low because it’s cheap.

I feel like this is not wrong because if I didn’t buy it other people would. Even if no one bought it he would steal it anyway in hopes someone would buy it eventually.

Today my friend was at my house when he came so I offered her to have a look what he had. She immediately asked him where he got this stuff from and he replied “shop”. She didn’t say much after but when I finished buying my items she started shouting about how I’m funding his drugs addiction and I shouldn’t support it because I am now stealing too. I told her to relax it’s fine it’s only a couple of items. She didn’t say much and finished her coffee and left quick.

So am I morally wrong for this? Or would you do the same?

OP has chosen to have 3 children and another on the way. I don’t believe having children gives someone the right to lose touch with their morals.

She just doesn't have the same morals as you

Yes you are a bad person. You’re a thief and I wonder how you’ll feel if someone steals from you or your children become thief’s! You’re also extremely self entitled. You’re desperately trying to make excuse's for what you’re doing and clearly thought we’d all agree with you! No, most of the people on here are not morally bankrupt. Does your husband know what you’re doing? Stealing to feed your children when you’re really short of money is one thing, but stealing to have luxury laundry goods is quite another. Never mind your friend reporting the man, I hope she reports you! I’d be careful next time you open the door to him and if he does get caught I’d watch your back and that of your children because he’s very likely to want revenge on you.

It's no more "wrong" than me giving him a fiver for the kids bike he takes off your doorstep tomorrow.

You OK with that?

You are talking shite. I never said anywhere that supermarkets were acting as charities, because clearly they are not!

I’m so sorry for what has happened but this is completely different. What your sibling faced is an aggravated burglary and Abh/gbh, this is theft from a shop no one is being beaten up or abused.

I agree!

Well that is not what you said.

I don't know WTF you got anything from any of my posts suggesting they were charities, because that is patently ridiculous, and I am far from stupid!!

My God, you just don’t care do you! You think it’s all ok to do what you’re doing!

It's actually not. You have no idea how your drug dealer mate intimidates staff to steal the goods you buy from him!

No, not decent people!

Fucking hell, is she having a 4th when she can't afford three?!!

That you know of. How do you know what's going behind the scenes of getting all of these items you're buying on the cheap?

I think your behaviour is despicable OP. Enabling an addict, buying stolen goods, you shouldn't keep reproducing if you can't afford to feed your children. Contraception is free for god's sake. No one needs bloody scent balls either, I've never bought them in my life and don't know anyone who does either and our washing smells clean!

Here's an interesting article about what John Lewis is doing about shoplifting. "Greed not need" is what is fuelling the rise in theft according to one of their directors.
https://www.retailgazette.co.uk/blog/2024/06/john-lewis-waitrose-shoplifting/

By buying from him you're encouraging and enabling drug usage in your area which could be a threat to you and your children as very often linked to violent crime.

And stealing even from big chains puts the prices up for eveveryone. It's not a victimless crime. Most of the big supermarkets have loads of security now due to this sort of thing so how do you know it's not a local shop? I've seem addicts stealing from mine.

What you're buying sounds really OTT anyway I'd just buy the cheap stuff if I couldn't afford the brands. Sounds like you're excusing yourself for being part of the problem. If you're that desperate go to a food bank.

yabu

this is a really weird example to set for your children and I think you lack bigger picture thinking

firstly he’s a drug user, why are you having him around your kids and regularly interacting with him? If you stopped giving him money, how will he react? Will he keep knocking? Will he leave you alone? Will he take no for an answer? Bringing people like this to your home is irresponsible and reckless. He might get angry if you don’t give him what he wants.

secondly have you ever heard of “if something is too good to be true then it probably is”? You’re setting the wrong example for your children, it’s not realistic or sustainable for you to get £20-30 worth of goods for £10. Instead you should be looking at reducing your costs ie cheaper brands, or increasing your income. Not get the same brands by theft.

Genuinely asking Op what would you do if one day your druggie thief mate turned on one of your kids? Say he started asking for more money for items you didn't want as you've helped him fund his habit and you didn't want to pay this so tried to say no but he wasn't having it. What would you do then? Can't report it to the police can you? You should not have children. I truly hope your friend reports you to Social Services and Police.

also shoplifting is not a victimless crime. When I worked in retail, staff would get in trouble for this. You’re looked at dimly if your store has high theft or is people steal when you are working.

This and staff get assaulted every day trying to stop people like the Ops mate. Wonder what she would do if one of her loved ones was one of the people getting assaulted in retail because the local drug user had got a bit too carried away with their habit and decided to turn up with a weapon one day. That's if the ops kids ever get a job with the example she sets.

Please. Staff get assaulted all the time during these store thefts. You're a total criminal.

That's a bit harsh.

It's not a big deal and some of the analogies used on here to condemn you are beyond stupid.

Here you go OP Aldi prices I’ve even added nappies for the baby.

Shop around, don’t support thieves.

as an aside I found Lidl nappies the best on the market and far better than the big brands of Pampers and Huggies but Lidl don’t post prices online

The £10 a week is on laundry pods, softener , stain remover and laundry scent balls from persil or lenor. The balls alone are £8 in Asda

Tesco's stain remover is £2 and a bottle lasts me six weeks.

A large box of washing powder is £4 in Morrisons. That lasts me eight weeks.

Nobody needs laundry scent balls FFS. Or fabric conditioner.

No wonder the planet is doomed.

I spend about 84p a week on laundry products.

I breastfed my babies so never bought formula.

No it isn't the Op doesn't deserve children when she's associating with a drug user.

https://www.google.com/search?q=staff+attackedby+shop+lifter&oq=staff+attackedby+shop+lifter&gs_lcrp=EgZjaHJvbWUyBggAEEUYOTIJCAEQIRgKGKABMgkIAhAhGAoYoAEyCAgDECEYChgV0gEINTIzOWowajeoAhSwAgE&client=ms-android-samsung-ss&sourceid=chrome-mobile&ie=UTF-8

https://www.google.com/amp/s/amp.theguardian.com/business/article/2024/jun/11/asda-staff-attacked-at-work-gmb-poll

https://www.britsafe.org/safety-management/2024/violence-against-shop-workers-grows-in-an-epidemic-of-retail-crime

https://www.watfordobserver.co.uk/news/24380965.atria-watford-repeat-shoplifter-jailed-attacking-staff/

https://www.gmp.police.uk/news/greater-manchester/news/news/2024/february/officers-appeal-for-information-after-a-female-shoplifter-assaulted-a-staff-member-in-bury/

https://www.burytimes.co.uk/news/24116720.bury-cctv-appeal-employee-assaulted-shoplifter/

Try Google, it goes on and on. These are people working to provide for their kids too. Why should they get attacked whilst the Op sits on her arse and brings druggies to her kids door?