To ask for support in giving up wine/anybody been through this

[Shammysham2]

So I have been drinking a bottle of wine about 4 nights of the week and decided I need to stop. I have not touched a drink now for 7 days and not found it particularly hard to be honest as I have my mind set on it. Anybody else given up? I realised I was feeling groggy in the morning and do not want this to develop as I have young ids who need me. How did I get into that situation in the first place it is just so bloody easy!

Do I need to cut it out forever? I have other alcohol in the house such as beers/spirits/cheap wines but I only like the expensive stuff, this is one of the reasons for giving up.

I did an alcoholic quiz online and it said I wasnt an alcoholic but I just know it isnt good for me

I stopped drinking in jan really not missed it at all

Why did you stop, was you drinking as much as me? I want to a better mum to the kids and not feel groggy the next day. I am going to put away what I would usually spend on wine and see how much I save. I have bought some vitamins and really trying to get healthy as I am 35 now.

Have a look at CGL...

https://www.changegrowlive.org/advice-info/alcohol-drugs/alcohol-drinking-levels-quiz-self-assessment

Could you save wine for a weekend treat? I bet that now you’ve had a break and the longer that break is , a couple of glasses will feel like a lot. I enjoy wine but don’t drink in the week .

Thanks for that

I stopped drinking for Dry January and didn't begin again. Still looking for a reasonable alcohol free wine though! My usual tipple is elderflower cordial diluted with tonic water. Very refreshing and looks the part!

I did similar in 2015. I was drinking every night purely out of habit. I took a month out and if I had found it hard, I wouldn't have drunk alcohol ever again. Instead it was easy, but it did stop me drinking just because. I find myself fancying it less as I get older.

It might perhaps be an age thing. I’m early 40s and found wine stopped agreeing with me just feeling dreadful the morning after. I did sober January last year and kept going till December. Drank at the usual festive stuff, I did enjoy it but it still makes me feel awful and Also look awful. Puffy and uneven skin tone , bloated belly. It turns out I’m quite vain so I quit again and haven’t had a drink this year.

Could you try either getting baby sized bottles or develop a liking for port which doesn’t deteriorate too much if you leave it in an opened bottle? I’m not trying to give up, but drink only when I feel like it, and that’s getting less frequent. So we’ll open a bottle and have a glass each for the next couple of days, then maybe not open another for 3-4 weeks.

Rosé port is wonderful.

I was probably drinking more than you. I never felt i needed to or was a problem. I stopped because I developed cancer so couldnt drink on chemo. But now i havent drunk for ao long it's made me realise how much i was actually drinking. So its a lesson learned
When I can drink again I definitely won't be going back to old habits

I drank as much as you, probably more, and once I had decided it needed to stop, I realised that making it a permanent move was too big a thing to contemplate. Like committing to go on a diet on a Monday and not making it past Wednesday before the chocolate comes out, then you feel guilty and give up. You forget that you managed Monday and Tuesday,
I decided that each day I would choose whether or not I was going to drink. For example. Monday morning, today I won’t drink. However, this choice is only for 24 hours, tomorrow I can decide to drink or not. The next day comes and you make that choice. I began logging my non-drinking days in the I Am Sober app. That really helped because you build up a streak of days that you don’t want to break.

You also begin to see the weight coming off. The average bottle of wine is around 600 cals.

Then you start waking up feeling refreshed because you feel good. You also are more productive because your body is not wasting energy processing alcohol and so you are not as tired.

However, in the early days, I decided that if I was to do this I wouldn’t deprive myself of anything else. I would focus only the alcohol.

To help, I bought Clean Co spirits and non alco beer. Non alco wine is rubbish.

Anyway, it’s been several years and I don’t drink to excess ever. It also means that I can enjoy a really good glass of wine with a meal and wake up with a clear head knowing that I didn’t break a commitment, I just chose to have a drink that day. I also realised that drinking loads isn’t worth the hangover.

The advantage of giving up all alcohol forever is that you avoid the constant tiresome dilemma of shall I/ shan’t I? in your mind. If the answer is always no, then you just get on with your life much more easily. If you read the quit lit then you soon realise that there is no real advantage to drinking anyway. Have a read of This Naked Mind and The Unexpected Joy of Being Sober.

My drinking has crept up in recent months too, gone from onky occasionally to having a glass practically every night! I think its the sun.

What's helped me is buying nonalcoholic pina colada (basically pineapple and coconut juice) and putting it in a fancy glass whilst I drink it!

Haven't found a nice noalco wine yet though!

I gave up and realised that I didn't actually like the way I felt when I drank - I liked the idea of it, the anticipation of it, the first few sips - but that actually when drinking I tend to feel a bit antsy.

I'd second the 'this naked mind' and 'unexpected joy of being sober'. Now my 'treat' will be some nice food, or getting in bed early with a good book, rather than a bottle of wine.

Its a sneaky bugga this wine isnt it, it is all so normalised too, I will be the odd one out of my group of friends put it that way but I dont care, I am doing it for me.

Sainsburys AF sparkling is IMHO the best AF wine. Tesco a close second. Not found a good flat one yet though!

@Shammysham2 the Annie Grace book I mentioned above actually goes into a lot of detail about how alcohol (but especially wine) is marketed to women, and how it doesn't actually deliver on the promise!

I used to think I was far too stressed to give it up completely as I need it to deal with stress, but after giving up I'm calmer, happier, sleep better, and funnily enough, don't ever feel like Im so stressed I need a glass to wind down with.

I gave up drinking totally about 2 years ago. I did really well and wasn't missing the drinking at all - it was wine I used to love.
Then after a particularly stressful day I bought myself a bottle for a "treat" to cope with the stress. And of course since then I've had another couple of bottles - still very infrequently. But the point is I've now started thinking about drink again. And I'm going to have to make a real effort to turn back to the " I don't drink" mindset. Because the benefits of not drinking as opposed to drinking are amazing. Not least because I lost a lot of weight when I stopped and I don't want to gain it again. Which I will if I start drinking again.
So I find it is much easier to not drink at all rather than reduce drinking. Because the amount does creep back up if you just try and do moderate drinking.

Do you still go on nights out etc with the girls?

I cut back to lose weight but now I am quite intolerant and get drunk very quickly on a couple of glasses of any alcohol and feel pretty horrible the next day. I was also sick of the morning groggy feeling and now it just doesn’t seem worth bothering with it as it is no longer very enjoyable. I had a couple of drinks (2 Proseccos topped up with lemonade) on Saturday night, had to go to bed at 10pm and still don’t feel great today. I don’t really miss it that much and it will be ages before I drink again, if I bother at all. I must have had a higher tolerance before but in all honesty my skin hair and nails look really good now and it was taking a toll on my skin and face so I feel and look healthier so it’s a good pay off

I gave up in Jan 2022 (initially for a year) and haven't gone back to it. I was probably drinking more than you, and it was hard at first to go to events I associated with drinking (e.g. weddings, holidays) but I got used to it and now love not drinking. One thing that helped was forward planning - I decided the date for giving up about a month in advance so was able to psych myself up for it.

Hi, OP, well done for realising the issue. As others have said, the drinking just gets normalised. I was drinking a lot and when it started affecting my health and my work I knew I had to do something. I noticed that my concentration and peripheral vision was being affected and I spent quite a lot of time vomiting.

So, I changed all the rituals associated with drinking. I liked to eat certain foods with my wine, so I stopped buying those foods... I used to love a cigarette with wine, so I stopped smoking (it was not easy). All the habits around drinking I sought to change. I also started drinking green tea.This all sounds so difficult, but I did it!

My skin started to look so much better, I lost some weight and I started waking up fresh and clear headed. My thinking became sharper again and I felt less sluggish. Plus, when I stopped buying alcohol I had more money. Good luck.

I don’t think it has to be all or nothing op. Start by only drinking for social occasions or just at weekends then reasses. I would miss the social side, it’s just not the same for me.

I really wish there was a decent AF wine

I can now say no to all other alcoholic drinks with no problem - but I really like the taste of certain wines, especially with certain foods. I don't like the taste of anything else with a meal except sparkling water (which I do have sometimes!)

I honestly would pay double if I could find one I liked

I have done dry January a few times but good wine is a one of the great pleasures of life for me, so trying to cut down and make it more of a 'treat'