To be pissed off with transport for my SEN child?

[blackwhitegrey]

Urgh. We live 2 miles from SEN autism school. DS14 has been there for 4 years and DH gave up work to look after him when mainstream failed him and he was at home for 2 years. He's doing really well at school now and really thriving. DH really wants to go back to work (and we REALLY need the money). He has been offered a job for September.

• School transport refused as we live too close. They feel it's appropriate to expect a parent to take him to school and that's not disability discrimination (most 14yos don't have a parent walk them to school). Appeal done and refused.
• can't pay for school taxi as it's not a guaranteed place and they don't accept applications until after October half term
• can't pay for a private taxi as all the DBS drivers are doing LEA runs.
• DS can't walk alone the 4 mile round trip as it's a main road, he's autistic, sensory averse, highly anxious and a flight risk
• DS can't get the bus alone as it's too cognitively complex (plus anxious / sensory) and involves crossing 2 major roads.

DS is ok in the house for an hour ish pre and post school. He's pretty good / safe in the house. Would be fine getting dressed and waiting for taxi / waiting for me to get home 30 mins after drop off.

But out the house alone - total disaster.

What do we do??

Does he not get PIP?

Most parents of 14 years olds don’t need to do this so it’s not having to do the same as everyone else, that’s why mainstream secondary schools don’t tend to have breakfast or after school clubs like primary does as typical 14 year olds can get themselves to school if they are at the local school.

if he’d be okay at home for an hour or so in the morning and evening, would he be okay in school for a short period at either end?

At the school I work in, pupils are frequently dropped off up around 45 minutes before school (when the canteen is open but there’s no formal provision) and after school there are homework clubs and the library open for around an hour most nights.

If he could be IN school from 8am to 4.30, would that make the ‘one of you drops off and one of you collects’ option easier?

Disability benefits for adults belong to the disabled adult the parent isn’t allowed to take them to replace their lost wages.

And, yes, to all the ‘just do what normal parents do’ posters, check your privilege. Parenting a child with SEN is a whole different world.

I do understand where you are coming from as I still have to take my high school age DC to school.

Can he go into school early for breakfast/club and then stay for a club or homework in the library after school?

But DC can go in early for breakfast in the morning and/or do a club and then stay late for more clubs in many high schools.

Not in any special schools that I know of anyway
The point being most 14 years are able to independently care for themselves, a lot of children with SEN particularly those whose needs can only be met in a specialist setting will need a lot more support and guidance .

Do you have a child in a special school?
Because it generally ime at least doesn't work the same way that it does in mainstream because those children will need a lot more support which requires.more staff etc
It's really not the same as a child in mainstream going to chess club or whatever after school.

My sons sen school doesn’t have any after school clubs he has to be picked up at 330 no other option. his does have a breakfast club that starts from 815 but that’s fairly unique most special schools don’t have a breakfast club either.

You clearly don’t understand at all where she is coming from or you wouldn’t have made those suggestions as they aren’t options at special schools

Has he been assessed as capable of travelling to school alone? If so that is the issue. Autism doesn't mean automatically you can't travel alone, it's down to individual assessment. Gently ask yourself, are you being overprotective? My dd always travelled on public transport to secondary school, but she wore headphones to help with sound

It's actually quite easy. Legal aid can be obtained in the child's name and this sort of claim is dealt with relatively quickly.

Point out to them that the guidance is unlawful and discriminatory, and that you will challenge it through the courts if necessary.

@Crumpetsssss

Sen is not a universal situation, they are all different. My dd was assessed as capable of using public transport, she had a free bus pass from the council, and did successfully for secondary. We spend 3 months preparing her to do it. As an adult now she struggles with many things, asd is lifelong after all, but has learned how to adapt her life to be able to do what she wants, typically dealing with background noise, wears sunglasses and lot and loves a mask!

I completely disagree with you. The OP, and many others, have a child with additional needs. As a society we need to support families facing additional difficulties. Most 14 year olds don't need this kind of help getting to school but this child does and this at least is somewhere where help could, and should, be given.
This family is facing many difficulties that "normal" families don't and this is a difficulty that governments can help with.

My DD is 16 and I’ve taken her (or her dad has) every single day of secondary. She’s got health issues, low iron / vitamins and there’s a big hill and woods to walk through. She’s got the bus home now and then but I adjust my job generally to do this. I drop her on the way to the office or I go back and work from home and if I’m collecting I take a late lunch and pick her up, then log back on again at home. I often join teams calls on my work phone with headphones in when driving. It’s not easy, and 2 more years of this for sixth form coming up in September. My sons both walked to secondary but they didn’t have the same health challenges as their sister

@blackwhitegrey

@dahliadraws is incorrect. Yes taxi drivers have a licence, but it doesn't mean much.

Some taxi drivers work through a company that logs their journeys but LOTS do not.

the problem is less likely that it's too expensive, it's much more likely it's so small a fare it's just not worth tying their time up for. Sadly that's the reality. In most areas taxi drivers have to charge the meter rate if the journey is in their borough it would meter around a fiver here. To commit to those times twice a day for a tenner just isn't worth it as they have to turn down better paid fares.

i think all you can do is follow the advice, already given, to get them to provide transport

he should be getting it.

best wishes!

@Zanatdy

im sorry about your daughters health, I hope there's a way of improving it for her.

you have been lucky that both your job is able to be done like this & your employers have been so flexible.

But has it occurred to you that many jobs are not able to be worked like this nor are all employers able to be flexible? The OP has already explained this insane possible for their jobs.

Incredibly frustrating.

Could you lift share (you said you could manage 5/20 of the drops /collects?)with another family that is at the school? Not sure if that would be ok for your son or whether the other child would be ok with it either.

Or... Along the same lines above... if you can't share rides (because 5/20 isn't really equal) could you pay the another family to collect / drop (like a taxi- but I'm thinking maybe if your son knows the parent / child it might be better?) appreciate this approach has loads of pitfalls- including availability of said family.

I have no idea about funding etc but it does sound hellish.

Can't one of you work nights? Then do the morning school run - sleep - then afternoon school run then work? That would be the best option. My in laws did this for years when their 4 kids were little - Mum worked nights and Dad worked days. Then never had to pay for childcare or worry about school runs and they were both NHS now retired- they switched to both doing days once their youngest was 15.

I did nights when my oldest son was a baby ,toddler
But parents shouldn't have to do nights because they have disabled children.

Nothing to do with disabled children - my in laws 4 kids were not disabled in any way but they did this to avoid childcare costs.

Sadly there have been huge cuts and local authorities are now expected to provide only statutory services. Getting SEN children to school is something this government things is a 'nice to have' rather than an essential. Consider this when you vote.

My son is 14 and in Sen school.
I drive him , it's no big deal . I can drop him off before work and collect after
Tbh I'm super grateful he is in a local fantastic school which costs the tax payer a fortune .

Can you not learn to drive if you don't ? Or get a free bus pass for you both ( carers etc )