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Is this a red flag on a first date?

52 replies

Iknowaguywhostoughbutsweet · 24/06/2024 06:51

Went on a date with an old classmate from literally 17 years ago.
He asked me who I'm still in touch with, and I said I'm still good friends with Sarah.
He said "Oh yeah Sarah's really pretty."

He then started talking about another woman called Harriet who is now one of those Instagram models and saying how she is really pretty but that she's so fake online and uses tons of filters.

Like I'm not jealous I don't care that someone thinks other women are attractive it's normal, but spending your first date rating other women we know 🤔

OP posts:
Mummaoffour1234 · 28/06/2024 06:11

Iknowaguywhostoughbutsweet · 24/06/2024 06:51

Went on a date with an old classmate from literally 17 years ago.
He asked me who I'm still in touch with, and I said I'm still good friends with Sarah.
He said "Oh yeah Sarah's really pretty."

He then started talking about another woman called Harriet who is now one of those Instagram models and saying how she is really pretty but that she's so fake online and uses tons of filters.

Like I'm not jealous I don't care that someone thinks other women are attractive it's normal, but spending your first date rating other women we know 🤔

It’s a red flag. Not that he finds other women pretty but the way he’s objectified them by discussing and criticising their appearance. It’s shows such a lack of respect.

This is not how you should feel after a date - confused, wondering if there’s something wrong with you (am I being unreasonable?), trying to rationalise his behaviour, thinking there’s something not quite right but not being able to put your finger on it…

You deserve to feel better than this x

Gwenhwyfar · 28/06/2024 06:56

Springwatch123 · 24/06/2024 07:21

If you were talking about old school mates, and she came up in conversation, then I think that’s in context with the conversation.

However, even though he said she was pretty, it does sound like he realises a lot is fake, so it doesn’t actually sound that he’s too impressed with her.

Yes, but it sounds immature to only be interested in what she looks like and not what she's up to now, etc.

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