Is this a red flag on a first date?

[Iknowaguywhostoughbutsweet]

Went on a date with an old classmate from literally 17 years ago.
He asked me who I'm still in touch with, and I said I'm still good friends with Sarah.
He said "Oh yeah Sarah's really pretty."

He then started talking about another woman called Harriet who is now one of those Instagram models and saying how she is really pretty but that she's so fake online and uses tons of filters.

Like I'm not jealous I don't care that someone thinks other women are attractive it's normal, but spending your first date rating other women we know 🤔

Mr Shallow - run run run!!!

A proper dick move. He probably thought you'd feel the need to qualify yourself to him if he talked about other girls like that. Failed.

Ugh.

Hard pass. He's an idiot.

He sounds boring and shallow.

Women's fillers indeed. What a jerk.

It's gauche and not the level of conversation I'd be looking for. Why would you want to hear his appraisal of other womens' looks on a date? Not socially very able

Calling others pretty but not you that he was on a date with, I'd be turned off by that. I'd also see it as s red flag that he's shallow, looks only matter to him will always be commenting on other woman's looks, not good for your self esteem.

Is he negging you?

Either way I wouldn't be impressed either.

Holy PUA language!!

At best, he's shallow.
At worst, a creep.

Don't waste your time.

All of this.

He sounds like a complete and utter waste of time.

I once went out with an old classmate. I thought he'd matured but by the third date he seemed to be inviting me to a swingers session with a bunch of pretentious academics in deepest suburbia and regaling me with his own adventures in group sex. My eyebrows were practically stuck to my hairline. it certainly gave me a new perspective on one of my former university tutors. Don't look back is my advice.

Yes, don't look back op. I would give this one a miss because he has hardly done much for your self esteem. Tell him to go date Harriet.

When I was at school, one lad used to put me down and told me how ugly I was. I sort of grew into myself over the years and he just couldn't understand why I would not date him. I think he thought I should be grateful he even asked.

Strangely I bumped into a lad I knew from school recently who used to ask me out but I just didn't feel the same way, I was young for my age and he was too intense. He said he could remember the last time he saw me 40 years ago, where and at what event. Your date should have been making you feel good about yourself, not second best. Move on.

Ick.
Don't waste your time OP.

If he focuses on the appearance of women rather than what they're doing or what they've achieved, he'd be of no interest to me. He sounds dull and shallow.

Sounds a bit dull - can think of a thousand more things I’d rather talk about over people we went to high school with

Think this was your red flag 🚩

Had a similar encounter with someone who was vile to me at school and guess what, he hasn’t changed a bit and is now a police officer. Biggest bullies going.

He sounds immature and boring. That in itself would put me off a second date.

He's testing boundaries, with a bit of negging thrown in. He's letting you know that there are prettier women out there, but he'll give you a go. More red flags than Anfield.

He sounds shallow

Having been in three abusive relationships before I realised a pattern… I would say run don’t walk

Sounds like negging completely. At a first date as well, would make me very concerned at what level of abuse he could be capable of

I would just not like the fact that all he seems to be saying about these women is to do with their looks. If he had also said “I saw Sally a couple of weeks ago - she married Pete and they’ve got two kids” or “I hear Alison’s living in Manchester and working for a bank” or whatever, that would have been more balanced.

Wtf is PUA?

Negging is a term I've seen for a long time online and on Mumsnet. It is nothing new.

This reminds me of a guy my friend fixed me up with who wouldn't shut up about how much he liked said friend 🙄. When I didn't rise to the bait , he went on about the supermodels he worked with in a previous job. I never asked.

Neg me more, please, I beg you 🫣 . There's was no second date, obviously.