Can I foster with a 1 bed flat?

[Iloveicecream1]

I'd love to foster a child. Currently I own a one-bed flat with a large communal garden area.
I live alone and can't afford to just buy a two-bed place/pay a mortgage alone.
There's no guarantee I'll ever meet someone to have my own children with, and fostering has always been something that appeals to me.

I'd sleep in the lounge and give my bedroom to the child.

Do you work? And if you do, how will you look after a foster child?

People are getting rightfully upset about your selfish attitude and flippancy towards children who have already had a poor start in life. They most certainly shouldn't relax.
That said, if anyone does need to relax, it is you. On your other thread (under a different username) you are riled up about being single and blaming men for this and for your poor mental health. And on that very same thread you state that, despite only owning a 1 bed flat, you are going to look into fostering). Now you are annoyed/cross at a system that doesn't put you first. You need to start to lose some of that sense of entitlement and frustration.

If it's done for the right reasons. If you read the OPs other thread, then you might change your mind about her motivations.

Yeah can't imagine why people are taking the wellbeing of vulnerable children so personally, God. The nerve of us.

Children are fostered because of a traumatic or abusive situation and they will need security stability and acceptance
They may have challenging behaviour because of this
I think you should get a cat instead

Fostering should be entirely altruistic and your decision to foster should be focused entirely on meeting the needs of the child. It should never be a substitute for having your own biological children.

The one-bedroom situation is a red herring in this, tbh.

If fostering, or having a family any other way, was really important to you for the right reasons, you would find a way to move to a bigger property.

It's not about being rich. And it's not abbekng entirely altruistic. But it is about recognising that the child's needs come first in every case. And that includes not sharing a bedroom/you sleeping on the sofa unless you found yourself already a parent with no other options.

Unless your 1 bed flat in Liverpool is already one of the very cheapest properties in the city due to location and condition then you could absolutely trade for a 2 bed or more in a less central or less desirable location.

But I think you really need to work on what actually will be fulfilling for you. I don't think fostering is the solution. And I don't think you are ready for a child yet.

I know someone who was considering doing weekend foster respite for an infant, the foster mom was quite old and could use the occasional break.

Wishing you the best op, I think some of the comments are a bit harsh. Nothing wrong with wanting to give love to a child.

Cats yes, people no.

Lovely that you want to though.

I’ve known more than one single foster parent, (one lives in a council house) and several single adopters. They had varying levels of income. I live in an area where housing is probably less expensive than where you are.

It's clearly impractical when you don't have the space to do it op

OP fostering isn't akin to 'normal' motherhood at all.

My house used to belong to a foster carer. The bedrooms and bathrooms all have 'fuck off' and 'cunts' carved into the walls and woodwork. The neighbours have said the girls used to throw used sanitary pads out of their windows into their gardens.

These children need experienced figured in their lives.

Yes the women here was a single woman and this is council accommodation.

It's not reserved for the well off but troubled children deserve their own room!

@Iloveicecream1

if fostering , or adoption, is something you really want to do then why don’t you start to make plans to enable you to do so.

I am both an adoptive parent and for the last year a foster carer. I am single and before fostering was an HEO in the civil service so not exactly rolling in it.

I was 40 when I decided to adopt and nearly 43 when I applied. During that time I was sorting my finances, home and job out. I was working in the charity sector and whilst I loved my job it didnt pay enough and only had statutory benefits and really wasnt very flexible.
I job hunted for two years so I could get back into the civil service, eventually secured a role with a significant pay increase, flexible working and a very generous adoption leave package. Not too fussed about the job to be honest but it gave me the financial base I needed.
Over the years I thought about fostering a lot. But again I waited and planned.
I waited till my son was grown up, I paid my mortgage off, had work done to the house so we could accommodate another child appropriately.

We are all allowed a wallow at times but instead of complaining that its something reserved for couples or wealthy people why don’t you make your plan to actually make it happen. What do you need to do to afford a bigger home - get promotion, move sectors?
If you want it enough you can do it.

I would just add too more things.
As a parent you need to be a problem solver, more so as an adopter or FC, this is your first problem to solve.
I am my adopted son’s mum, legally and in every sense of the word, and he isnt going anywhere.
Fostering is very different. Yes you may end up with a child who stays with you to adulthood and will be your family but its not always like that. Ive just had a child leave me after a year, the plan was he would stay until adulthood. But significant things have changed.
Babies are usually only placed with FCs whilst legal processes are sorted out or plans are being made to return them to birth family. You won’t be given a baby to raise till adulthood, unless you adopt.

When I was a kid, I knew two different families who used to occasionally look after a child with SEN and take them out for the day or to their house for the day. To give the child's family some respite I think.

OP, with each of your threads you’re just thrashing about looking for life and lifestyle changes. Fostering a child is NOT the thing that’s going to give you purpose or direction: it’s bloody hard work, involves a lot of sacrifices. You can’t just be interested in it, post an ill-thought-through thread on mumsnet looking for answers you could research yourself if you were in the least bit serious, and expect to be taken seriously. All your threads shriek bitterness and chippy resentment about your dating life. You don’t get the replies you want, so move on and start another.

I’ve always thought it rude to suggest therapy to someone but honestly, it’s so clear you need help with your emotional state. Dragging a vulnerable child into your life isn’t going to fix your problems, let alone be remotely the right thing for the child. Fix yourself. You can’t build anything in broken foundations.

I briefly looked into this once and a separate bedroom seems to be one of the main criteria, even if you have kids that share you can't put a foster child in there they need their own space

I think it's worth speaking to social work. There might be scope to offer emergency care eg to babies who are removed from home in the middle of the night after a crisis and need to be safe for a night or two until another more suitable foster placement can be found. But I think this happens rarely

Daytime respite, befriending or mentoring might be a better fit for you

Well done for trying to help

Why don't you try volunteering? I work in Childrens palliative care and we really value our volunteers.

I think you are looking at this the wrong way - fostering isn't about you "having" a child. Its about providing a strong, stable and loving home for a child in need. Once their over 12 months, having their own space is an absolute necessity. They shouldn't also share "communal" space with your bedroom.

If you are serious about fostering then you need to move house to a 2 bed x