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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Can someone explain why I’ve been told not to attend my court case?

32 replies

Ella2001 · 22/06/2024 13:44

Hi everyone , I appreciate this isn’t an “Aibu” topic but im posting here in hopes that il get more of a response . my solicitor is a nightmare to get a hold of and I’m left in the dark about it all , to cut a long story short
i have a solicitor due to my child’s father and his mother threatening to get a solicitor on me because he wanted 50/50 only because he didn’t want to pay child maintenance. I told him no due to him smoking weed around the child , taking her to his friends house so they can smoke in his kitchen (she was in the pram) and his mum doing unsafe sleeping .
anyway so my solicitor has put in for a residency order and had to attend court on 31st may. To then be told that the case was adjourned due to my child’s father not having his legal aid sorted .
the court case is now on Monday and I’ve been told I don’t have to attend ? Why don’t I if it’s my case and they asked me to come before it was adjourned ?
he now can’t afford his solicitor so has been left to represent him self , he said he has to attend , so why don’t I ?
he’s admitted to still smoking even tho he told me he stopped , he has started again and is willing to do hair follicle test, he knows he can have supervised visits with me and continue to smoke and not have the responsibility of looking after her , he’s now agreeing to the residency order so why does he still need to go to court ? I’m so confused by it all… if he’s agreeing to the residency order why does he need to represent him self ? Would it be because of the weed and him not being able to have her unsupervised?
hes only recently been in contact again, he stopped contact and didn’t see her from 3 months old to 7 months . Yes she was only 2 months when smoking around her
any advice is really appreciated right now.

OP posts:
Sparklybutold · 22/06/2024 20:36

@OP @TheShellBeach obviously there's a whole story behind this that I'm not aware of.

If you deem the drinking and smoking to be significant enough to harm your child then refer to SS.

Ella2001 · 22/06/2024 21:19

Sparklybutold · 22/06/2024 16:15

Can I ask whether SS involved in anyway?

yes SS were involved with him

OP posts:
Ella2001 · 22/06/2024 21:23

Sparklybutold · 22/06/2024 16:28

There's obviously a lot more to the story. But unless there's a safeguarding issue the courts won't decide not to do 50:50 just because the dad's mum cares for the child.

I’m not too sure how to link my last thread but yes there’s a lot more to it , ss were involved as he threatened to hit me when I was pregnant and punched walls and doors instead to take his anger out
he isn’t a safe parent at all as when he doesn’t smoke weed he’s angry and wouldn’t want my child to be yelled at or worse because he’s angry. And when he does have weed his more calm but stoned out to the point he cannot look after the child being completely out of it . Courts are aware of This

OP posts:
Wishitsnows · 22/06/2024 21:31

I would go

TheShellBeach · 22/06/2024 22:21

@Ella2001 You didn't write your other thread under this user name, so I can't find it to link. What was your user name on it?
I can link it if you want.

TheShellBeach · 02/07/2024 22:08

How are things, @Ella2001?

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