Grandparents wrecking sleep schedule

[purplepeopleeater28]

Would you just stop sleepovers all together? We’ve been working so hard to get 3 yo and 18mth old into a good routine and every single time my parents have them we then have to spend a whole week picking up the pieces. Currently have the pair of them screaming and sobbing their heads off because they’re tired but refuse to go to sleep because my mum lets them pass out on the sofa at midnight after about 5 bottles of milk or hot chocolate each (which I’ve also asked her not to do multiple times because then 3y/o wants a baby bottle of milk again for the rest of the week)

I’m so fed up. My mum likes having them but I’ve tried mentioning this atleast twice and it’s clearly going nowhere - do I just call it a day??

Where are you off to when ur expecting your mum to have them?

Tbh I would. If your mum can't respect your wishes or listen to your concerns then no more. I know you grandparents love to spoil the grandchildren but if its upsetting them that much then.....

Don't have sleepovers? 🤷

I’m not expecting her to have them. She asks to

Just say no to sleepovers.

I'd have gone mad if my mother or MIL had done this.

YANBU.

Why do so many MNers have this fixed idea that caring for your grandkids is some sort of epic favour, when the majority of grandparents like spending time with their kids?

And if it WAS a favour, it's a pretty shit one when you mess with the kids so badly when you don't have to see their tears.

She'll rot their teeth, if nothing else. Hot choc with no teeth brushing, oof.

I'd go to stay too, show the bedtime routine, ask her to follow it. If she won't then no more sleepovers.

Mind you, my parents followed bedtime routine more or less and kids were still out of control for a bit when they got back. I think it's just knowing different sets of rules are out there!

Honestly just say no. Dd never slept away from us aged 7.

No more sleepovers. I'm grandmother and your mum is being a real twat.

I think letting a 3 yr old stay up till midnight is neglectful. You need to think of your child first here and stand up to your parents.

Just because you've offered to babysit, regardless of the reason, doesn't mean you can leave two small kids up till all hours like that.
You need to talk to your mum and explain they need to go to bed at a decent time. It's always nice to have treats at granny's but that's not on.

I'd definitely tell them no more sleepovers.

Another vote for no more sleepovers.

Absolutely no more sleep overs, she’s being selfish and it’s not fair to your kids.

Yeah. No more sleepovers. They can’t respect the routine; and if they’re not listening to you on this; there will be other stuff too

Yea no sleepovers until they are older. It's not worth the lack of sleep.

No more sleepovers.

I’m normally pretty chilled about stuff like this but they’re too young not to be put to bed. There’s plenty of time for staying up late with grandparents when they’re old enough to brush their own teeth and take themselves to bed when they want to.

Way too disruptive. Call it a day.
If my mum trashed my parenting decisions like that by letting my kids ruin their sleep and filling them with chocolate she'd not be in charge of them again.

I really am not the MNer that you presume me to be.
Neither did I agree with kids being kept up so late

Thanks for quoting me.
my point was that it doesn’t seem to have been the first time 🤷‍♀️ Hence my comment

So what was the point of your question? Why is it relevant what the OP is doing?

It was very obvious from the OP that this is something the OP doesn't need given she is thinking of ending the arrangement.

Thanks all. I feel so awkward doing it because i think it’ll offend/upset my parents but yeah there just is no point is there. We’ve just managed to get them both to sleep after hours of crying/shouting etc by driving around for an hour with the aim of boring them to sleep. I can’t live like this for the sake of grandparents

Your parents should feel awkward and ashamed of offending you. It's time to stand up for yourself and let them know that they are not helping you by disregarding your children's needs. They are being amazingly selfish and disrespectful.