DH shouldn’t “jokingly” blow out ds birthday candles

[Quibbledibble]

DS7 has been very sick with stomach bug, started on his birthday so he hasn’t had birthday cake.
finally have his birthday cake with candles. Light them and sing happy birthday - DS all excited.
just as he’s about to blow them out, DH blows them out.
DS cries.
im fuming. AIBU
apparently this was a joke.

YABU

DS had a stomach bug, it wouldn't have been fair to everyone else if he blew his germs all over the cake. DH shouldn't have done it either because now his germs are on the cake.

Has nobody learnt anything from COVID? Why are you even still doing this stupid candle thing?

Your DH - who is currently sick - is an idiot.
I hope you have enough buckets to go round.

Your DH - who is currently sick - is an idiot.
I hope you have enough buckets to go round.

@Emmerald

i did too, difference is I asked for it (I presume you didn't?!) and it wouldn't have been my 'main' present, but I can't remember what that was?!

nearly all my little friends bought me those little woodland animals that were all the thing at the time.

i cried when they all went home🥲my Dad picked me up & danced around the sitting room singing 'It's my party & I'll cry if I want to'

I loved my Dad & I miss him everyday ❤️

@Quibbledibble if he'd pretended to go to blow them out DS might have found it funny, but what was he thinking actually blowing them out? Was he remorseful? Or just a twat telling DS not to be so stupid/a baby???

he's only just 7, it's not at all surprising he cried! Some posters have been very harsh!!

Ps: I hope they both like cake! I wouldn't be eating it or letting anyone else!!

It doesn’t matter if he was turning 37, it wasn’t funny, it was mean. People are allowed to react when someone is deliberately cruel. Fucking “resilience” gets trotted out again and again. How about we tell bullies to stop being bullies.

Pranks may be funny when it's one adult doing it to another but birthdays are once a year and I can understand how a 7 year old child would be upset at having the candles blown out just as they went to do it.

I actually think it's nasty.

How do you know they’ll laugh until you do it?

Bullies? Are you being serious?

No seven year old is going to find it funny. You don't take special moments away from people, especially children. What makes it worse is that it's belated birthday cake because of illness.

What makes it a joke?

Because mean shitty behaviour doesn't magically become a joke because the person doing the mean, shit thing is laughing. I could throw a rock at a cat and laugh, doesn't make me Bill Hicks.

There's a terrible culture in the UK of typically men, thinking any shit behaviour can be hand-waved away as bantz or just a laugh. No, be a decent person. Be funnier you tool.

Harsh response.

Not babyish of your son.

I'd bloody cry if I was 7 and had been ill and then idiotic Dad does that.

Twat, of course that would upset a child.
They are HIS candles on HIS cake.

Your husband is a twat and dim to boot.
If this is an aberration fine, if not, he's a prick.

Why are we expecting him to be resilient? Can I remind you that he’s SEVEN

I still dont understand why DS cried though? Have you drilled it into him that he must blow out candles to turn 7?

When I used to put candles on my kids cakes, when DD1 turned 5 the wind blew out her candle. She just said can we eat it now

You can’t possibly understand why an excited 7 year old, just over an illness, who had to delay their birthday celebrations might cry at their Dad doing that?

I get that on MN adults aren’t supposed to care about their birthdays, but there’s no way there are genuinely this number of people who can’t grasp that a child of 7 - recently unwell and had to delay celebrations - is in no way abnormal or babyish to cry at their dad stealing their moment.

@CowboyJoanna
I still dont understand why DS cried though? Have you drilled it into him that he must blow out candles to turn 7?

Maybe he was upset because it was his birthday cake, his candles to blow out yet his dad decided to ruin the moment. What's difficult to comprehend about that?

My DS7 would also be upset

Dad is a cunt

I wouldn't bother getting him a cake on his birthday

And if 'D'H has blown out the candles.... Do you really want to eat that cake? I wouldn't be eating it.

Prick move.

I'd understand more if his dad ruined his birthday cake or shoved his head in it? Or just started cutting it up for him without letting him have a go? Or if DS was 3 and found the candles mesmerising.

But not so much at the blowing the candles. Its a huge faux pas obviously, because it's up to the birthday person traditionally to do that, but I wouldn't have said it was anything to cry about.

To be honest, I'd have said the vast majority of kids dont actually care for the whole candles thing, and probably wouldn't actually noticed if you just did them a nice cake and sang without candles.

But thats just me. My DH is from down under where the whole candle thing isn't that big a deal in the first place

I feel this way too. There are shades of grey, it’s a faux pas and yeah a bit silly but he’s not a bully and it’s nothing to cry over. This website is so extreme all the time, the reaction to everything is just way over the top

To be honest, I'd have said the vast majority of kids dont actually care for the whole candles thing, and probably wouldn't actually noticed if you just did them a nice cake and sang without candles.

I couldn’t disagree with that more tbh. In my experience blowing out the candles is the thing the kids look forward to the most out of the whole cake bit.

And a 7 year old who has had to delay his birthday because he was ill is even more likely to be upset by his dads twattery than a 7 year old blowing out the candles on his actual birthday.

For something like that I think a 7 year old is more likely to be upset than a 3 year old as they’ve seen other people blowing the candles and have been looking forward to it.

And the fact that the Dad was the unwell one at that moment and still chose to blow all over the cake shows his complete lack of thought and regard for his family

I agree with a PP that we shouldn’t be blowing candles on a cake, it really is grim! We use a ‘wafter’ or put the candles on a cut piece of cake or cupcake so the germs are not being shared around.

For my children, their favourite thing about birthday cakes is eating it ...but other than that, every year my 3 girls look forward to seeing what theme I'll decorate their cakes with. We sometimes put sparklers on them but never actual candles to blow. When we sing happy birthday, the highlight of the moment for the kids is getting trusted with the cake knife to cut into it and make a wish, and you dont touch the bottom of the cake plate or you get green babies (a cultural thing from Australia. DH says its their traditional equivalent to the British blowing out candles thing).

Obviously we live in Pommieland so when my children have been to parties, about 75% of them have had candles on the cake. Most of the time, the child had to be prompted to blow the candle or did it without any fanfare. It was more like a chore to get out of the way before enjoying the rest of the party.

Your DH sounds like a 7 year old! Maybe he needs his own cake and candles to blow out?