In laws

[polaroppositewife]

Just looking for some opinions on if this would annoy anyone else or I am just moody.

I am lucky enough to have a spare/ guest room and additional bedroom that we class as a dressing room where perfume/make up etc is.
My in laws stopped over last week and when MIL came down stairs I smelt perfume I commented that she smelt nice and she just thanked me. However I now realise she had been in dressing room and used my perfume. This in its self isn’t an issue they can use what they want.

However it’s annoyed me that she didn’t ask and why not just say “oh I tried some of yours “ when I commented.

I am likely moody and sensitive but just wanted other options just think it’s quite rude.

I think I can see both sides of this one. Anything we put out in our guest room, our guests are welcome to use. I think there probably wasn't a conversation about whether or not the perfumes were "guest amenities". But as her scent came up in conversation, it would have been polite of her to acknowledge it.

I wouldn't be annoyed about this.

That's quite rude of her! I don't think anything in a guest room that's clearly used as a dressing room is fair game, especially if you commented on her smelling nice, she had ample opportunity to say she'd tried a bit of one of yours. In her situation I'd have asked to smell a scent, not just spritzed myself in someone else's perfume.

Is the room they stay in separate to the dressing room? Just trying to figure out from the way you phrased it, if she was in a separate guest room and went into your dressing room on purpose to use a perfume without asking or not.

Sorry my message wasn’t clear.
Yes she has had to go in to a separate room to use the perfume, it’s not in the one she was staying in.

She’s very cheeky to go into a separate room and nosy about.

Perhaps she has the same perfume?

I wouldn’t expect a guest to help themselves to my perfume, no. If they asked I’d say yes I’m guessing most people would be the same over a squirt of perfume! Seems a weird thing to do. And yes cheeky not to even mention when you’ve remarked it smells nice.

No. This is very rude

I really don’t think this is that big of a deal…

I mean I always have a squirt of fancy serums or the like when staying friends. My MIL keeps hers in an en-suite on a guest bedroom… it’s not the room we use but I always go and have a nosy. I assume people do the same at my house! One friend asked if she could borrow my moisturiser and I said of course, she used my expensive face cream on her legs …
but that’s kind of what happens with guests!

I agree that it was really rude to go into your dressing room, and use your perfume without asking OP. I'd definitely not be happy if someone did that in my house. On the other hand, if they said something along the lines of 'I just walked past your dressing room, and noticed you've got a perfume that I'd love to try ....', I would immediately say 'go and help yourself'. It's not the perfume that's the issue, it's the taking without asking, that would annoy me. At the end of the day, it's just good manners to ask.

If a friend had gone upstairs to use the bathroom on a visit, I would think that invasive and rude, but I wouldn’t care less if my MIL who was staying as a guest in the house did this, and I am quite a private person!

Are you sure she doesn’t just have the same purfume as you?

Not in my house it doesn't! And I wouldn't do it staying with other people either.

I’d be fucking livid.

Well, you’re never coming to my house. Jesus fucking Christ. And neither’s your mate.

Just had a thought my sis in law would do this but she’s my best mate and she’d tell me and I wouldn’t care…

@polaroppositewife I would hate guests nosying in all my rooms and I would be bloody livid if my mil had gone into a room which she was not meant to be in and used my perfume!! I would not do that in anyone's house!

I think it is rude to visit someone else's house and just help yourself to their stuff, be it perfume and make-up or anything else.

Are you sure she doesn't just have the same perfume... How do you know she specifically went into and used yours?

It literally says in the OP that MIL said 'oh I used some of yours' 😂

@Fivepiece it says:

However it’s annoyed me that she didn’t ask and why not just say “oh I tried some of yours “ when I commented.

Does it... I thought the original post was that the mil didn't say anything and the op thought she should have if she had taken some...

Are you sure it’s not her own that she brought with her?

Well, I wouldn't use my DiL's perfume or my DD's, not without asking, so I think you are not being unreasonable. When visiting DD I am always told I may go anywhere. I do not. I use the public rooms, the bedroom and bathroom allocated to me (though I can use the other if I wish - but I would ask e.g. if I wanted to use the walk-in shower) and the dressing room to hang out clothes if I use the washing machine (not otherwise unless to haul dogs out!). Your MiL overstepped the mark in my opinion.