School holidays with newborn

[MaltedMilk88]

Due our 2nd next month, eldest is at school and breaking up about the time due to give birth.
What do we do? Recovery could be a pain if have to have a c section
Already feeling so bad for my eldest that they aren't going to be able to do anything much because of newborns arrival
Any tips to help us navigate until September?!

How old is your eldest child?

Are there any fun holiday club / activities they might like to do? Even if it's only for a few hours it will keep them busy and also give you time to rest.

Why won’t you be able to do much? Newborns are the easiest to slot into the daily routine. Just pop them in the pram or the sling and go outside with your DC, to the park etc.
(Obviously notwithstanding recovery time).

You just get on with it and get help from family and friends where possible. Holiday club?

Are you a lone parent?

How old is the oldest? Holiday clubs and activity clubs for the first few weeks. Or if you have a garden deck it out with play things so you can sit outside and supervise.
One of you can still do cinema/bowling etc activities even if it's in the later afternoon / evening

6, yes that's a good idea I could hunt out some clubs!
Very into sports and outdoors
Usually we'd do national trust type day trips, a few days somewhere like the lakes and a typical summer holiday

Will your DP/DH be on paternity leave?

Congratulations! I think the age of the oldest is Important here.

Maybe some of your child's friends mums,if already taken their own child to abc might take.yours for a few hours too in those first few weeks.

Did you have a section with your first ?

Aww congratulations!

Depending on your birth, you just crack on really. Newborn goes to activities/days out with your older child either in a sling or in the buggy.

I spent about a week at home with each of mine and then it was all systems go!

Personally, I'd be warey of sending your 6 year old to a holiday club if it's not something they normally do so they don't feel "pushed out" by the new baby.

Check out sports camps/holiday clubs. There are some running at schools or leisure centres. Have a lovely summer!

To be honest, I found having a second easier, granted it was autumn term so DD was in preschool during the week.

But does your oddest school have a holiday club? I would often send mine when little for a couple of days for a break. Then after a few weeks babies are very portable so you can take them out yourself doing activities once you are feeling more recovered. Good luck and hope everything goes well .

I know you're right and we will get on with it, just feeling bad for not being able to offer the "usual summer"
No not a lone parent but we have our own business and with me being out of action with the baby DH will be picking up all the slack there

If they like being outdoors and sport then you'll definitely be able to find a holiday club to keep them busy.

I know quite a few people who have used clubs like this, and the children have had a great time

https://www.theoutdoorsproject.co.uk/news/holiday-clubs---all-you-need-to-know/

I’d just get on with what you usually would do? That’s what we did with our second, newborn just fits in and we took him out with us on day trips from about a week old. Does your DH get 2 weeks paternity? That’s a great time to all go out as a family or he could take your oldest out for some 1-1 time. Then after that go to your normal things with both DCs. Also arrange some play dates and meet ups with others as they can then hold the baby for a bit.

Surely your oldest won’t want a ‘usual’ summer, with a brand new baby at home to dote over? Perhaps try and think of it differently in that this will be the best summer ever for her, it’s not every holidays there’s a new baby in the house!

Natural birth with first one
C section planned with this one - it's the recovery time that's stressing me I guess

No we are both self employed with a business to run so traditional time off won't apply unfortunately

Good point, nice to have a change of perspective

Make the most of weekends or your DH’s days off when he can drive you to a national trust etc (plenty of benches, cafes to have a sit down and newborns are the easiest age to get out in a pram).

When it’s just you and the children - what’s within walking distance from you? Or perhaps an easy train ride away (obviously once you are feeling up to walking).

Check out your local parks for any events or library/museums within easy distance for craft or activities.

Plan a movie afternoon with popcorn and treats etc.

I don't see how any of that is even mildly unrealistic with a 6yo and a newborn unless you have a very tricky birth.

I had planned sections and was did those sorts of things within the first 6 weeks - including a holiday abroad, days out etc.

With your first you can choose whether to stay in and watch tv, rest etc, but with 2+, you don't really have that option. Baby 2 lived in the sling, we fed on the go etc, were in soft play by week 2 etc.

The good thing is that as hard as a baby may have seemed the first time, you've now experienced toddlerhood etc, and thr challenges ot mobile children. An immobile baby who just wants milk, cuddles and nappy changing won't seem so difficult this time around.

If you are concerned, I'd try to make sure you've got a good setup in the garden, maybe have a few play dates with other kids over to help entertain your eldest.

Lots of National trust places have cafes and play areas near us, they're one of the best places to go with a newborn and older ime... especially if you can meet someone there, a friend or cousin a similar age with their parent. Then they entertain each other. I did a lot of this in early weeks with mine.
Appreciate its harder with a c section though, particularly if you can't drive. One of the things I did with them was bus ride - we got a bus to the farther park (15 mins in car, 1 hour on bus!) Rode on the top deck, took snacks. They loved it on the bus and it was easy with newborn in sling (about a week old then). Took half the day!

You do just get on with it. Youre overthinking

The not driving usher a C-section thing is largely a myth. I didn't drive at the time, but would certainly have been okay within 2 weeks and that's the experience of most of my friends who've had sections.

Honestly, my recovery is from section with far quicker than many people I know who've had vaginal births. For my first, I had the quickest recovery of anyone in the NCT group, I was the only planned section. So don't assume that you will be very immobile for very long. Recovery very much ranges, and I was undoubtedly lucky, but I went out on a full day trip to see friends and go out for dinner on day four, dosed up with just in case painkillers but I was fine.

Helpful 🙄

Of course the eldest deserves a nice holiday, why should he miss out completely because of a baby?

You don't take a 6 yo "to the park" all summer, how boring, poor kid.
The OP might need a REST, dealing with a child and a newborn while recovering from major surgery is exhausting.

The first week or 2 it's very possible she won't be fit enough to deal with the newborn by herself anyway. It's not a failure, it's fact. Many women cannot use a sling after c-section! You won't know until after the birth.

I agree with clubs.

Your DH also needs to take a few days off here and there, he can't work 7 days a week with a new baby. Then he could take your eldest on a day out, take him camping for a weekend (even just an overnight) - basically break the summer enough you child will have a fun time. Even a couple of nights at Butlins - my idea of hell, but most kids love it somehow.

I went out on a full day trip to see friends and go out for dinner on day four,

there's always one 🙄

Great if you genuinely did, it's still stupid. Check how many women ran into problems because they did not take it as easy as they should have had. It's a major surgery.

Why? I felt fine and I fancied it? I'm not saying everyone should, and I've said that I was lucky as there's a range of recoveries, but I'd have gone nuts at home. I followed my body and didn't do anything it was grumpy with.

I wasn't out doing a marathon (though if someone felt up to it, then that's fine for them).

People often have a fear of c section recovery, and often (but not always) that's from people that either haven't had them, or had emergency ones after a long labour.