Sick of people contacting me

[EVIEeeee]

I hate it. I know im lucky to have family. I know i am lucky i have friends. I know im lucky i have work aquaintances. But honestly i get so sick of phones and having to reply to texts and wanting to go on whatsapp to message someone but if i do ill have to reply to the other person.

Its silly niggly stuff like those what you doing today texts from my sister. The work friend whos ringing me 3 times on my day off to rant about her shift. She sends you ok?messages all the the time.

My sister whos always so busy with her own life decided last night at 8.50 to ask if she can ring me to tell me something half funny and half sad. I was so tired i did not have the energy for a half hour phone chat. This is the thing. Everytime my sister or a couple of work people and friends call i have to weigh up if i can stop and be on the phone chatting. For up to an hour.

Dont get me wrong i sometimes love a catch up. But i feel prickly today because im tired and back at work tomorrow and ive hsd so much stuff on this last few days.

I miss the 90s when people left you alone.

Just turn the phone off or set a time after which you don’t reply (unless it’s an emergency).

I know exactly what you mean. I’m not too fussed by texts or WhatsApp but phone calls in the evening aaaaaarrgghh!

I spend 10 hours a day talking to people/being talked at as a nurse. I don’t want to do it for another hour in the evening. One of my days is literally all phone calls too so no, I don’t want to spend my free time on the phone.

A quick 5 min call wouldn’t be so bad but Why talk the same shit over and over. I switch off to and then realise I’ve no idea what’s been said.

With your sister, surely you can be blunt and say something along the lines of: "Sorry sis, I'm exhausted, 8.50pm not a good time for a long chat as I'm off to bed soon. Talk again at the weekend or whenever". Then turn off/mute phone.

People ramble on chatting for an hour because you let them.

I get it, sometimes I just want peace and quiet.

I tend to put headphones in for family phone calls now and simultaneously clean the bathroom, make the dinner, walk the dog etc; kills two birds with one stone.

That's so rude. I have ADHD and as part of that an aversion to calls and a need to prioritise my 'alone time'. Doesn't mean I'm abnormal it's just different.

How do you think these people would take it if you were to message can't talk right now and suggest a better time?

Put your phone on Do Not Disturb and you won't receive any notifications but can still use your phone if you for other stuff if you want

Turn last read off on WhatsApp so you can deal with a message you want and ignore the rest.
Tell your colleague you are having phone off days when off from work. Take longer to answer texts. You are under no obligation to answer immediately.
You are putting a lot of pressure on yourself to do this.

Turn your online/offline statuses off. I did this, now just reply to who I want too.

Also a major hater of people being able to message me whenever I want, I miss the old days!

Exactly. Set out what suits you. Don’t passively suffer through lengthy calls at times that don’t suit. Turn off your phone. Don’t reply if you don’t want to. You don’t get points for phone martyrdom.

Everyday life doesn't mean having to be on the phone for an hour in the evening when you're knackered having your ears bored off by someone who can't take the hint.

Try being assertive without being rude.

And remember that one day you might want to talk to your sister or have a friend.

Dick comment of the day

This is what I meant. Gives you privacy.

You miss the 90s? Because people left other people alone? Our house phone was always going for my mum, she loved it so it was fine. You were probably different in the 90s or your parents were. Depending on your age.

You need to start setting boundaries. If people are contacting you just tell them you don’t have time to chat.

Someone calling to loan about their shift? Just don’t take the call.

Sister wants to talk at 8.50pm, just say no.

People are doing it because subconsciously you always talk/answer/ reply.

Just do it in your own time?

Just turn your phone off. I also hate that people expect us to be available 24 hours a day and if someone calls me I wont answer if it's not convenient unless it's my parents or DS. I know I'm unsociable and I don't care!

Exactly this- noone is forcing you to have hour long conversations when you are knackered- just tell them you arent up to it. You can say that in a non rude manner.

Agree with turning off your online status, then you can slowly dial back how often you look at messages. Once people start to realise you haven't read the message and wont respond immediately they'll naturally start to adjust their own behaviour. You have to do this otherwise it wont work, until you start putting in boundaries nothing will change.

YABU simply because this isnt a phone issue, its a you issue.

You need to start saying no to people or not answering/mute your phone. Eg I could spend all day online if I chose to, but I choose not to because it's not healthy for me. That isnt my computer's fault, it's mine. You have full control here over how you use your phone so start putting boundaries in.

I get this .. my old job had a WhatsApp chat with 100 people on it and shot used to come into the chat constantly and I used to have my mother phone (selfishly) crying at 10 pm on a Friday night and mil moaning and I put a stop to it but asking dh to talk to his mother and I have sadly fallen out with mine

but I felt used …

I get you. As PP have said just don't engage until you're ready. I deal with it with humour - "no point in trying to get me after 7 as the office is closed" type of jokes. It does work, as does switching read receipts off, etc. Most of my friends hate phone calls in the evening bit were all singing off the same hymn sheet so it's not a problem most of the time.

It's not everyday life though is it?
If you are of a certain age then this level of contact and availability to be bombarded with information and requests is not what you grew up with and it is exhausting.

YANBU op, I miss the pre mobile phone age.

Sitting glued to your phone isn't normal everyday life for some people.

I think if you want time alone, then sraw your boundaries. Tell them you won't be available on the phone from such a time every evening because you want to spend time with family/ own time/ doing things needing doing with house and so forth and stick to it. Put your phone on do not disturb and just answer the next day when you feel like it.

Just say it's nothing personal, you're doing it to everyone as you need to reclaim some time back as youre falling behind on what needs doing Etc. And tell them it's good to switch off for mental health and suggest they try it.

Enjoy your free time op. If they get upset then oh well, they can get used to it!

Just ignore them why don't you?