Sick of people contacting me

[EVIEeeee]

I hate it. I know im lucky to have family. I know i am lucky i have friends. I know im lucky i have work aquaintances. But honestly i get so sick of phones and having to reply to texts and wanting to go on whatsapp to message someone but if i do ill have to reply to the other person.

Its silly niggly stuff like those what you doing today texts from my sister. The work friend whos ringing me 3 times on my day off to rant about her shift. She sends you ok?messages all the the time.

My sister whos always so busy with her own life decided last night at 8.50 to ask if she can ring me to tell me something half funny and half sad. I was so tired i did not have the energy for a half hour phone chat. This is the thing. Everytime my sister or a couple of work people and friends call i have to weigh up if i can stop and be on the phone chatting. For up to an hour.

Dont get me wrong i sometimes love a catch up. But i feel prickly today because im tired and back at work tomorrow and ive hsd so much stuff on this last few days.

I miss the 90s when people left you alone.

Yes , I feel like this quite often. I really don't like texts that just say ' How are you?' in fact when I look down and see one, it makes me cross. I know people think they're being nice and checking in , but to me it puts all the responsibility on me to write a semi interesting reply about my news and politely asking about theirs.
Before I had a baby I used to go into my home office to reply to messages, and just treat them like another bit of admin ! Can't do that now as life is too chaotic 😂

Feels good to get that out ! Hope you find a solution and others on here have good advice as I have none. Xx

Set your phone to go into sleep mode , put your status to not shown , only answer when you want . I had a person who would message constantly and if they couldn't get an answer they would move to another message platform and check if I was online and bombard me.

Define 'normal', I dare you.

Some people... 😳

Op, I get it. I have a friend who posts stupid photos, memes and messages in our group chat. It is so boring and annoying.

Because its not necessarily normal everyday life for a lot of people.

The days of going out shopping, on holiday, sightseeing ,without being contacted was so nice.

There's no escape from it now.

Surely it's only a problem if the people contacting especially an instant response. Otherwise just leave responding until you are ready.

It’s the expectation that you are meant to be contactable for every waking hour that annoys me.
But, I will say, be careful what you wish for. I felt exactly like you 10 years ago, so stopped answering the phone so much and making excuses not to do things because people wouldn’t take a ‘no, sorry I can’t’ as a reason not to do something. And now I hear from very few people. Though it’s less stressful and more peaceful!

It’s the expectation that you are meant to be contactable for every waking hour that annoys me

People can have all the expectations they want- doesnt mean I have to bow to them!

I sympathise with you op. Sometimes my social metre gets full, or I'm just tired. I have young children (one on the spectrum), a health issue, 3 school runs a day with no car, a house to maintain, in the evening I'm trying to get my kids to sleep, and get minimum time to myself.

My bored sibling has no dcs, no idea, will ring in the middle of the bedtime routine, and is amazed they're not asleep 7pm promptly! She also tries to "pop in" at 12ish to see my youngest dc, and ignores the fact he is at nursery every weekday afternoon, we leave at 12 ffs.

It also bugs me when I get a last minute "we're in the area, thought we would pop in," as they are always floating around. It is always them coming to me, because i'm the one with the house, so then I'm running around after them. They act as if I have nothing better to do, and must be in need of their company, because i'm a SAHM. She lives in a small flat with her partner, consequently doesn't have much housework, gets all of the DIY done for free. She by choice works 4 days a week, but with lots of time off additionally as well, seems bored on the week days off, and evidently needs some hobbies! I get message of how she is lying I bed of a Saturday morning eating malteasers, thought I'd give you a ring!

I wish they would buy a house tbh, as they're taking up a council flat that they don't need with 2 good full time wages, even in today's climate.

Perhaps it has something to do with people using technology to let their neediness run rampant at others' expense.

Maybe you recognise yourself in that description?

Yes I get like this, but don't have all the people calling me like you, more messaging. I just have to ignore or say a breezy I'll talk to you soon. Some people I have to archive.
People on here will say "well just answer them and they'll be satisfied"
No some people aren't. They will keep replying. It's lack of social understanding.

I wish people would just ring me for 5 minutes instead of having WhatsApp conversations where I have to type. I hate them and put them off so much!

It's infuriating when someone can't reach you in one platform, so spams you continuously until you do pick up! I think because our generations haven't grown up with this tech and being constantly contactable, we didn't develop a sense of needing to turn off the phone. At first it was so nice to never miss an important phone call but in reality it just means no escape from either work or other people!
Everyone knows that most of us have our phones glued to our hands, so an immediate response has come to be expected as the norm.

I do miss that 90s feeling of freedom, of being out for the day and able to just please myself

This drives me mad and I don't cope well with it. It's got so much worse over the past few years. I have a busy job that has always generated a lot of e-mails that need attention but now my personal phone has outdone my work one. Constant Whatsapps from siblings, in-laws, friends, ten e-mails everytime I go to the dentist. Buying something generates ten e-mails and ten requests to fill out two surveys. School messages five times some days then Brown Owl and/or the sports coaches send a few! They don't all require attention but I have to read them all to find out which ones do or we miss things.

Set your phone to do not disturb (you can favourite contacts so you can hear when they call).

Uninstall whatsapp. Enjoy the peace because no one wants to send sms the old way.

Treat text messages like emails and take 1 or 2 days to respond.

When mobile phones came out I hated that all of a sudden I was in trouble if I didn’t answer! I’d bought myself a device where everyone had access to me at all times and it was too late to go back 😩

Just don't reply. People soon get the message. It's okay to do this

“I really don't like texts that just say ' How are you?' in fact when I look down and see one, it makes me cross. I know people think they're being nice and checking in , but to me it puts all the responsibility on me to write a semi interesting reply about my news and politely asking about theirs.”

This is how I feel. They have no idea that to my brain this is the equivalent of setting some homework that’s due immediately.

I rarely have this problem to be fair. I only have a couple of friends and keep myself to myself.

I like my evenings for reading and watching films. Be assertive OP.

Put your phone on do not disturb for chunks of time during the day or evening when you want peace. I do it and choose which numbers can get through the do not disturb. You don't always have to be available. Honour your need for peace.

So leave your phone in your handbag for an hour or two - you don't have to have it within reach 24/7

I don't think it is necessarily always a generational thing. My dm didn't grow up with devices, she is in her late 60s, i taught her years ago how to text (maybe a mistake) 😂. She will prompt full conversations over WhatsApp, always in the evening! I'd rather she just gave me a ring. I've started replying in the morning instead, because I get really tired in the evenings, and know it'll be more thana quick message. Sometimes I will just ring her off the back of it. She will say she is just messaging because didn't didn't want to bother me. This isn't the case though because dm will send a bazillion messages if I don't answer, and then when I get back a little later, say I wondered if you were okay, or I thought when i didn't hear from you. I'd miss her if she wasn't here though, and I am grateful to have her. I think the things that annoy us about certain people can end up being what we miss the most (apart from my sibling)!

Some people will then text your DP to tell you to check your phone! 😫