Middle class kids don't play out as much as working class children

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We have moved to a lovely, quiet estate in a very middle class area. I was very excited for my kids as they have friends in the estate & there is lots of safe, green areas with a large park at the foot of the estate.. However the children don't play out! Our previous working class area was always buzzing with kids playing out.
Aibu to say middle class kids don't play out as much as working class kids?

I don't know about playing out, but where we live there is a real playground culture. We are lucky to have multiple playgrounds within walking distance and a lot of kids stop in at the playground on the way back from school for a run around. It helps that most kids round here walk to school, rather than being driven. A lot of families live in flats or have small gardens, so many stop in at the playground with their kids almost every day. That said, kids are usually supervised, albeit from a distance for older ones.

I have a friend whose child is at the local private school, and the kids there don't seem to play out so much, although her DC joins us to play sometimes. We've actually discussed this and think it's probably due to a number of factors - greater use of wraparound care, more extracurricular activities and homework, more children are driven to school and there isn't a playground near the school for kids to meet up at. They have playdates and parties though, although these can be hard to organise as it sounds like everyone has quite busy lives.

What’s your definition of a ‘safe’ enough area for children to play unsupervised? In my opinion there are no safe places for children (until a certain age) to be without an adult. All it takes is someone with bad intentions to seize an opportunity.

I played out all the time as a child late 90s-early 2000s. I grew up in a nice suburban area with lots of play parks and green spaces. Lots of nice kids and families but definitely nowhere near as posh as to attend private school or anything like that. I have really fond memories of summers playing out.

We were middle class-ish kids in the 70s. Always played out. Kids did then regardless of income etc. Different world

My son plays out with his friends at the weekend, but I always go to the park with him. School evenings he usually just wants to play with his sister around the house. We don’t do any after school activities.

Obviously it’s ok playing out now, but a lot of the year parks are miserable in cold, wet weather with soaked play equipment.

i dont think i’m classified as middle class as i’m not originally from britain. But yes we are high income household and my kids not playing outside eventhough there is park only 3 mins walk from my house.

my boys are busy with activities almost everyday of the week. Monday swimming, tuesday horse riding, wednesday coding class, thursday off (the rest at home) and friday gymnastic. After all that activity they still need to do homework or just general study with me before bed. On the weekend we do family thing together. We usually going out and we often bring them to softplay or any other parks if the want to have fun. But rarely to go to the park outside my house.

my boys often goes on playdate with friends from his school but even the playdate we never meet on the park. Usually softlay, farm or any other paid activities.

I was a child of the 80s and played out and had a lot of freedom, very middle/upper middle class area.

My children play out as do lots of children on our road, it’s a middle class area, but definitely more at the weekend where they may be out playing all Saturday and Sunday, far less in the week due to work and clubs etc.

I think it very much depends on where you live and your neighbours etc, other parts of the same area to us have a lot of kids but never see any of them playing out whcih is sad - and that goes against what others here have posted as that is a more working class area / housing development

It's a shame that so many kids have such limited time for free play with friends (whether at a playground or elsewhere), given all its benefits. Especially because many of these children have parents who want the absolute best for their kids and think they're providing this by giving them access to so many different activities and experiences. But no gymnastics class, swimming lesson, computing club or sports club can replicate the benefits of playground play for children.

This is a great point. Nowadays there's so many options - after school clubs at school and a huge range of other options, a kid can have a more scheduled social life than an adult and thats madness! Maybe we were poor in the 80s/90s but i largely remember limited options of karate/taekwondo for the boys and gymnastics for the girls but many went to neither. That left a few hours after your tea practically every night for some good old playing out. Fresh air, lots of mischief and exploring and no screens or any sort of mobile device and we all survived!

@Seed90

There is no greater risk for children to be snatched from the streets than there was years ago. It is such a rare occurrence that it tends to make headlines when it does happen.

It was one of those urban myths as a kid. The kiddy catchers have been to (insert neighbouring village) in a such and such colour car and they'll be coming for us next! Cue lots of running around and staying away from the main road. Not difficult when you live in a rural location with a childhood like a poor womans famous five. Alas they never did catch any of us, but it all added to the mystery and intrigue of playing out.

My son plays out but he's the only one! Other parents seem to worried to let their kids play out.

I grew up in a council estate, and we were out for morning to night. Both my parents worked full time but there was never sort of a need for a nanny or a child minder 😂 there was always someone on the estate who would take you in make sure you were feb and could run and knock on if needed anything. Everyone knew everyone and looked out for each other. We weren’t a feral bunch though like my friends - we had the occasional bad egg but mainly we were good kids. Shared paddling pools, playing tag, riding our bikes etc
we recently moved from a very middle / upper class London area which is known for being very middle class and famous for it 😂 but there is also a huge proportion of council estates and the gap there is huge in terms of wealth. We actually lived on an estate that was a council/ HA but they had knocked some blocks down and rebuilt private apartments / houses and you would of had to be middle class wealth wise to ever have afforded one. In reality it seemed bonkers one apartment worth over a mil in the same estate where the other flats were being rented out in London for 500.00 ( council ) we went back and fourth on the idea and went for it and honestly it was the best thing we did, the estate kids were ace and our children loved them. My older Dc played out with friends a mixture of the 2 and the younger DC would either have play dates or we would take him out.

No it's not time spent outdoors I mean it's the actual playing out on the green in the estates or local areas with neighbours.

10 & 8

Can’t agree with this. The only “kids playing outside” that I saw in London, were teenagers on scooters popping laughing gas canisters… Now we’re coastal, in quite cliquey area (all detached houses, not new builds) and there are genuine young children around, with balls or badminton or bikes.

mine are younger but thinking back to when I was young, I definitely wasn’t allowed to just hang around with no parental supervision at that age - but in someone’s garden that would have been fine if a parent was at home and taking responsibility. I think you need to get chatting to the other families - is there a local WhatsApp group? Try catching neighbours with kids the same ages to see can kids call around to yours/neighbours house. I hope your kids make friendships soon, moving can be an adjustment xx

I grew up in a very middle class estate - we all played out unsupervised. My mother still lives there and the kids don't play out at all anymore. So maybe it's generational as well as class.

Yes true I think. ‘Can do and so play out’ was a common doorstep call when I wa a kid.

when my kids went knocking for other kids to play out they often got a knock back from the mums opening the door.

You are correct. We used to meet to play but then went to others houses else we were accosted by the retired peering out and terrified we may damage their front roses or told off for making too much noise.

It’s getting worse too imo. The estate I grew up on even has a security team now. It’s quite riotous for the community cohesion (half for/ half against) and group WhatsApp. Even the adults are accosted and grilled about their comings and goings . In a way it provides endless comical gossip. On the other hand it’s very dystopian sad. I wouldn’t want my children playing out when there are these unidentified men with an air of pseudo authority rolling around in fake police cars.

May we all live behind a ring door bell, behind smalls flimsy gates, behind an even bigger gate. Amen 🙏

Garden size has a huge influence too. We bought our current house partly because the garden is big enough for a cricket net…and that’s where DSs can be found most afternoons after school (when not at swimming or Scout’s or yet more cricket). If DS1 (11) wanted to meet up with a friend out he’d be allowed but they’d rather be in our garden with a supply of drinks and the odd snack.

I remember being incandescent with rage (and I'm normally quite mild-mannered 😂), when during Covid after playgrounds were allowed to reopen, our local playground was taken over by a whole load of adult fitness fanatics who were obviously struggling with gyms still being closed. We had around 3 weeks of sharing the space with a bunch of huffy adult men clogging up the monkey bars doing pull-ups and leaving their mats and weights lying around and getting annoyed when the toddlers walked over them or tried to pick up the weights. Finally, enough people must have complained because the council eventually posted a sign on the gate reminding people that this was an area for children and asking them to refrain from these sorts of behaviours.

Even within spaces primarily intended for children, adults often seem to think that they have priority.

I don't live in the greatest of areas , children do play out though. There's 3 parks within 5ish minutes walk from our house and ds who is now in year 6 plays out most days now . Ds 13 was never a big fan of playing out but goes to the local youth club a couple of times a week

I'm well aware due to my job what can happen I see an awful lot of online grooming offences , never any stranger abductions where online grooming hasn't taken place though.

I live in a working class area. The kids all play out unsupervised from a young age. Not always safely either - there's often little kids stood in the road which is lined with double parked cars and popular with boy racers.