Can I be blocked from private school now?

[greenak]

Wondering if I put DS’s dad on the birth certificate, could he stop me sending him to private school? I am resident parent. I realise he can try for 50-50 but I accept that. I just don’t want him to force ds into a state system. I have the funds to pay the fees but me and ex have very different political views and I know he wouldn’t choose it. Can he stop me?

@Barefootsally No, I always wanted him on the bc. As I said above, he would never take the money, it would destroy his career

This. I know someone who stopped their child going even though the ex said they would pay fees.
Wasn’t deemed in best interest of the child as. The ex was adamant that the kid go to a normal school with nursery friends in the community.
Court backed it.

You don’t get to make solo decisions, and you risk going 50/50 if you try to ignore the father on major decisions like education.

Not how it worked for me, I signed my child up by myself.

They never asked for him to sign anything and were happy to take my bank details.

They asked for his contact info but that was it.

I asked my solicitor if I could sign up for private school and was advised to get in there first. Sign him up and it would be up to ex to find a better alternative to suit his needs and take me to court.

agree with your lawyer's advice. gave same advice here too, with further advice to pay 12 months in advance. however, op make sure dad visits and current arrangements arent severely affected. then court will likely side with you.

At our school, we signed a form confirming we were taking responsibility for the fees. There was a space for one signature, then another which said "2nd signature (optional)".

This is good advice^^

No don't give him half the money that's ridiculously risky!!

Op I think you are doing the right thing putting him on the bc as if he takes you to court for it he would succeed and then while at court could get 50/50 and try for a prohibitive steps to stop you using private school.

If he has less than 50/50 and you can manage all school runs yourself then a court will most likely side with you on school choice as you are resident parent. You do need to show it's child's best interests. To stop you he had to show it's not child's best interests which would be challenging. Possibly he could argue you may not be able to afford it long term and this would lead to a disruptive school change however you then have a large sum of money saved up to counter that argument!

I would recommend getting your kid into the school nursery if they have one as then you have the argument a school move is disruptive and child should stay where they are settled. If you don't mention school again will he actually ask you about it? I've had conversations with single parents where we moan all the school visits and choosing a school falls on us, most dads just assume mum will sort it or trust mums judgement if they do bring it up. If I signed my kid up to private school my ex would not find out till I decided to tell him after child had started maybe your ex would be similar?

Just be sure you are deciding because you think it's best for your child not because you want to do as you know ex won't like

@greenak I wouldnt tell him till he has started. he only has the child every second week anyway

For me, it'd depend on whether the schooling was on a day pupil or boarding basis. If it's the latter, I could understand a parent not feeling that's best for their child.

Why would anyone give their ex access to their own savings account? How is such foolishness compatible with being in a position to have £120k saved up? Did you win the lottery? Are the contents of this bank account simply what was left over after your first big splurge?

Just pay the school in advance, and show your ex a receipt for it, combined with a bank statement confirming you can afford the fees for the academic years after.

He can apply for whatever he wants but he needs to be able to prove it's in the best interest of the child.

It's hard that he could argue your closest state school is better than a great private school and would be pay for lawyers to die on that hill?
You could go to mediation first to listen to him - perhaps he feels strongly he wants to expose his child to a range of cultures and social classes - there are other ways he can do this.
By the time he got to court you might already have no applied to your local state school and missed the admissions deadline.

It's a really scary thing adding them to the birth certificate, I felt the same way, but there are laws to protect you.

If he did want to try for 50/50 it would need to be a very very gradual increase to this - even having him for an overnight would probably need lots of careful and gradual support.

Really? This is shocking. So many parents have PR but aren't involved and wouldn't sign. What a shame that those kids miss out

Yes

You could also ask for a mediation session to discuss the birth certificate and schooling and part of your conditions for him going on birth certificate (without an expensive fight) can be

• he will be open to private school if it's a good one and you pay two terms fees up front (so he can see if you don't and then hand in a terms notice)
• he doesn't make your life difficult with planning holidays with your child

Can you not start him at private school while he has no official parent responsibilities and then he can gain it , but by which point he will be started already and therefore unlikely he will get pulled out ?