To not allow DP to use my mat?

ToxicChristmas · 18/06/2024 13:52

YANBU. He can go and buy one for himself, camping mats are not expensive.

Limbo2 · 18/06/2024 13:54

No don't let him, it will be filthy and ruined. I've never managed to get a camping mat fully clean once used

Caroparo52 · 18/06/2024 13:54

nofuckingway
Hide it away.

poolemoney · 18/06/2024 13:57

He has form for taking without asking borrowing my belongings and/or lending them out to others without first seeking my permission, so my annoyance may be coloured by his past behaviours.

This would ge me the rage. Who the fuck does he think he is taking your things without permission and lending them out? How would he react if you did the same to his things?

PLEASE hide your mat where he definitely can't find it.

Leidenschaft24 · 18/06/2024 13:57

Nope. Could it go on a little holiday to a friends house or some other place he won't look?
It's a bit crap that he won't just accept your no tbh.

PiggieWig · 18/06/2024 13:58

I wouldn’t allow anyone to take anything I like to a festival!! YANBU

FOJN · 18/06/2024 13:58

No, tell him to go and buy one. It's a pilates mat not a sleeping mat.

He has form for taking without asking borrowing my belongings and/or lending them out to others without first seeking my permission, so my annoyance may be coloured by his past behaviours.

And tell him to stop this appallingly disrespectful behaviour.

I might be reading too much into it but he isn't behaving like someone who respects you as an individual, anything you have that he wants he just takes. I wouldn't do that with someone else's possessions and I wouldn't put up with someone doing it to me.

fluffiphlox · 18/06/2024 14:04

Hide it.

TeaKitten · 18/06/2024 14:06

I can’t see why you need to make a fuss or ‘hide it’, just say no I’m doing Pilates this weekend and that’s my Pilates mat. Job done.

Then he can go buy his own mat, I paid £4 for a cheap one from Aldi last year they aren’t exactly expensive!

jackstini · 18/06/2024 14:06

Tell him to buy his own - they are not that expensive!
What are you supposed to use for Pilates whilst he's away?

BreakfastOfWaffles · 18/06/2024 14:07

Absolutely not! I have a small home workout station with mat, sliders, weights etc and I don't allow anyone else in the house to use it because it's about the only personal thing I have at home. It's your mat and your investment in your well being.

Original poster

BestestBrownies · 18/06/2024 14:07

Agreed. I was brought up to have utmost respect for other people's stuff and never to take without asking.

He didn't ask, btw. I spotted it piled up with his gear ready to pack into the car and was like WTF?!? I have given him a firm NO and explained why, but he is having a strop about it. Reckons if the situation were reversed he would have no problem lending me his mat (he's never done pilates in his life), and I am making a big deal about nothing.

I have pointed out that buying himself an inflatable camping mattress will be a lot cheaper than inevitably replacing my mat.

OP posts:

Ovvff2 · 18/06/2024 14:09

Wtf. Why doesn't he just buy his own? What is his logic behind not even asking you?

MrsTerryPratchett · 18/06/2024 14:12

He didn't ask, btw. I spotted it piled up with his gear ready to pack into the car and was like WTF?!?

What's yours is his then. Is what's his yours? If you decided to take something really important from his camping pile... that would be fine...

FOJN · 18/06/2024 14:14

He didn't ask, btw. I spotted it piled up with his gear ready to pack into the car and was like WTF?!? I have given him a firm NO and explained why, but he is having a strop about it. Reckons if the situation were reversed he would have no problem lending me his mat (he's never done pilates in his life), and I am making a big deal about nothing.

He has form for taking without asking, presumably you have discussed this with him, and here he is doing it again. He can decide his own boundaries, he doesn't get to insist you share the same ones. I couldn't"t interpret the behaviour as anything other than a big fuck you.

The pilates mat issue itself is small, it's the attitude underpinning the behaviour that's the bigger issue.

I'd clearly and very firmly restate my position on taking possessions without asking and make him aware of any consequences if he does it again,

MrsSkylerWhite · 18/06/2024 14:15

Why can’t he buy his own map? Cheap as chips on EBay/Marketplace.

evilharpy · 18/06/2024 14:17

Absolutely not, hard no from me. He needs to respect other people's belongings.

Caffeineislife · 18/06/2024 14:23

Absolutely not. With the ground as waterlogged as it is it's likely the festival will turn into a mud fest and the mat will be ruined. He needs to go buy himself his own camping mat.

SirenDiMare · 18/06/2024 14:35

I would not lend him my mat. Or anything, if he has previously taken my stuff without asking and, also, lending my stuff out to others without asking. He can get his own mat.

Also, I wouldn't want to use a mat for yoga that has been used at a filthy festival campsite.

Fathomless · 18/06/2024 14:40

BestestBrownies · 18/06/2024 14:07

Agreed. I was brought up to have utmost respect for other people's stuff and never to take without asking.

He didn't ask, btw. I spotted it piled up with his gear ready to pack into the car and was like WTF?!? I have given him a firm NO and explained why, but he is having a strop about it. Reckons if the situation were reversed he would have no problem lending me his mat (he's never done pilates in his life), and I am making a big deal about nothing.

I have pointed out that buying himself an inflatable camping mattress will be a lot cheaper than inevitably replacing my mat.

I had one like that, would take my things, give them out or lend to others without ever asking me. It wasn't the only way he lacked respect for me. is this true of your dp? Men like this see the women in their lives as extensions of themselves.

Original poster

BestestBrownies · 18/06/2024 14:49

I think his behaviour is something of a hangover from his LTR with the mother of his DC. She refused to work the moment she fell pregnant the first time, so he paid for everything they owned. Ergo, all belongings are shared, and no permission needs to be sought by either party to use them.

Having said that, he has just mansplained the construction of a tent to make me aware that the mat wouldn't be placed directly on the ground. I gave him the Paddington hard stare and told him he's running out of time to buy himself something suitable.

OP posts:

DogInATent · 18/06/2024 14:51

Send him to Aldi on Thursday to get his own.
(camping event on the tat aisle)

NoSquirrels · 18/06/2024 14:52

I mean, I guess he must have some redeeming qualities but this episode isn’t showing him in the best light. Tell him he’s welcome to buy it off you full price.

TokyoSushi · 18/06/2024 14:52

Absolutely no, I'm very precious about my lovely -expensive- yoga mat, nobody is allowed to use it!

Ovvff2 · 18/06/2024 14:52

BestestBrownies · 18/06/2024 14:49

I think his behaviour is something of a hangover from his LTR with the mother of his DC. She refused to work the moment she fell pregnant the first time, so he paid for everything they owned. Ergo, all belongings are shared, and no permission needs to be sought by either party to use them.

Having said that, he has just mansplained the construction of a tent to make me aware that the mat wouldn't be placed directly on the ground. I gave him the Paddington hard stare and told him he's running out of time to buy himself something suitable.

If that's what he's said as explanation that's absolute bullshit. His issue, not yours. No excuse to disrespect you by not even asking