To think droves of teachers will make the decision by husband made today- to leave

[Peakyshelby]

Well after 6 years of teaching my husband has broken down, gone to the doctors, been signed off and says he is done.

he has done 3 years in 2 schools and then done supply for 3 years. There is too much to list but the highlights have been

been told to go and fuck himself and other insults thrown at him by kids with hardly any consequences from parents and schools

having stuff chucked at him

having to appear as a witness in court when a parent beat up his own child at home time in the playground

having parents create a smear group on WhatsApp against him and 2 other newly qualified teachers because the parents said there little darlings behaviour must be down to inexperienced teachers not being able to handle them.

having parents laugh and him and tell him he is picking on their little darlings by trying to sanction them.

have children laughing at him and saying my mum and dad don’t care what I do

hardly any support from above.

There is too much more to write but today he had a 10 year old child walk up to him and pour a water bottle over his head.

he is done. He qualified with a group of 10 others and 8 of them have since quit. 2 did not get through there NQT year.

He says the system is broken

Are you suggesting that children should be assaulted by parents and teachers in order to behave? I think a society that thinks physically abusing children for misbehavior has bigger issues than one with misbehaving children.

No, its pure snobbery because there a plenty of great State Secondaries with empty spaces in apparently.
I sit on the Exclusion committee of my State Secondary and I regularly Thank Fuck my DC are at a Private school instead.
Behaviour is bad but a lot of the DC I see are being badly failed due to a lack of resources and shitty parenting.

Like a PP I worry about the future of the workforce. OH has had a few recent employees who, as well as lacking basic numeracy, literacy and communication skills, also don't actually seem to know what a day's work entails.

Half the time their parents phone in and claim they're ill (small town - somebody has seem them out pissed the night before or flaunting it on FB) and on the rare occasions they appear, they sit and do nothing or claim they're being asked to do stuff that causes them anxiety.
They're not, they're just being asked to do stuff that are requisite of work.

Their solution - to take on a couple of 70 year olds who can count, speak, read and put in a decent shift.

I think one of the reasons that reasonable adjustments / SEN have ‘increased’ is because everything about school is so over stimulating and not autistic or ADHD friendly.

A high-functioning Asperger’s (realise that’s a term that’s no longer used, but for reference) child of the past may have been able to cope with a restrictive uniform when everything else was low stimulation. I believe there were a lot of very bright ASD children who went undetected, and often actually celebrated for academic rigour. Now they are expected to cope with the uncomfortable uniform, harsh lighting, obnoxious brightly coloured displays, noises, constant group work and collaborations, changing teachers and supplies etc. The quirky but very intelligent child of the past, who could get on with individual class work well, is now driven to breaking point.

This

Actually I think it's the reverse. It's over stimulation and lack of boundaries at home.

Kid plays up, gets an iPad. Not parenting. The level of social engagement and interaction with young children is much lower as a result. They don't learn social skills they need early enough.

They are hooked on the devices and the constant dopamine reward from them.

Put them into a school where they have to interact and socialise and they don't have the constant stimulus of a device and the lack of parental boundaries at home manifests.

Parents don't want to admit it. They just say they don't have time.

@RedToothBrush iPads and lack of parental boundaries do not cause diagnosable SEN. 9/10 you only need to look at the parents, aunts, uncles, grandparents to see where the autism or ADHD came from.

I firmly believe most cases of neurodiversity are genetic, but the changing world has made life so much more difficult to cope with.

Nope, but they'd have the potential to make a mild case that probably wouldn't have been so problematic, much worse.

If we are talking about neurological conditions, then neurological development would be a relevant point.

If, at a crucial time of neurological development, you effectively stunted or disrupted development in those who already had neurodiverse family histories you could end up with an issue. They would effectively be a cohort more vulnerable to negative outcomes from having too much screen time.

I quit teaching 13 years ago. Most of my cohort from my degree have also quit the profession.

I worked as a teacher in multiple schools across multiple counties and a different country and even in the 'nice schools', the kids and parents were pretty vile. Don't even get me started on the management.

I've withdrawn my eldest child from school and home educating him due to bullying and ineffective management and teaching. I can see me doing the same for the other when they hit secondary age.

I'm actually sitting in the school park now waiting to pick my primary kids up.

I can hear the parents next to the gate swearing at the top of the voices, just watched one spit. Kids running into road because parents are too busy on their phones or talking to pay notice.

And this is an infants school.

Why do people have to be nasty. My husband is a software engineer- my knowledge of C# is definitely wanting

As a a teacher, I firmly believe parenting standards have gone downhill, and therefore so has behaviour.
Many parents try to use the label of ADHD to cover their poor efforts. Yes, before I get charged at, there are children with actual ADHD, but even some with actual ADHD probably haven't been helped with endless screen usage.

I use the words 'many' and 'some', before you hit the quote button.

Also because so many parents know how unbelievably shit they are, they try to blame schools for their own shortcomings so they don't have to admit it to themselves.

What really went wrong was no longer having wider community support for struggling parents. So many just don't have a clue how to parent, and schools are left to pick up the pieces.

I almost agree with everything you say, the only thing I'd question is if parents know they are the problem. I think they have a misguided belief that they are advocating for their children when they challenge schools.

@ChurchCatsb

Sorry church cats, I can't for the life of me delete your name despite editing many times 🤷‍♀️🤦‍♀️😊

I never said that.

Funny how my Dd's school hasn't had to do away with rules. How can they manage it then?

Can you give examples of these schools that have done away with all rules? I've not come across any.

You are incredibly clueless. It's called equality.

Are you seriously suggesting schools are not overstimulating for ND DC??!!

@jouperI really pick my battles; there haven't been many. But some of us do have to challenge the schools. My child is Autistic. It's incredibly difficult for them. It's not even the schools fault- I'm so aware of that. It's the system they're part of. They are often expected to cater to all the differences with a rigid one size fits all curriculum and approach and minimal extra resources. It's an almost impossible task.

There’s so much wrong with state ed. I know there are some schools where behaviour is good and pupil progress is good but I certainly don’t go by the Ofsted judgement.

I wish the leaders of the different parties would read this thread and really understand what the problems are. Then they might be able to start thinking how to improve the schools.

OP, I hope your DH can find either a school that’s suits him better or a new career that he can grow to love.

I'm 50 50 on this.

On the one hand:

• parents don't back up school behaviour policies enough. This is a huge issue.
• kids behaviour is worse and too much physical violence is not punished severely enough
• inclusivity means schools are forced to make concessions for frankly unacceptable behaviour
• there's too much SEN in mainstream without the resource to make it work

On the other hand:

• some teachers seem way softer. When i was at school they were battle axes who just ignored a rude kid! They were tough/no nonsense. My sister is a teacher in a rough secondary & is cut from this cloth & has got frustrated a lot in past few years with younger teachers who take everything personally and lack resilience.
• my DC teacher is like this. I've been in the classroom to help out and she is terrifically weak, she doesn't hold boundaries or impose clear consequences and as a result can't control his class.

You make it sound as though it's Labour's fault.

"I blame the parents"

When there is huge and very rapid (ie, over a decade) systemic change in the way an institution - in this case a schools - are functioning, and it's happening at a population level, it will never just be about the sudden and simultaneous character failings of masses of adults.

some teachers seem way softer. When i was at school they were battle axes who just ignored a rude kid! They were tough/no nonsense.

But teachers can’t win-there are posts on here baying for their blood if a class teacher so much as raise their voices to a child!

I personally disagree (mostly based on my sample of one so I won’t generalise), DS has been diagnosed with high functioning autism and both the state and private primaries he attended were very good in terms of support / adjustments etc but what was hard for him was being in a room with 30 other people most of the day, with all the noise and movement.
We moved him to a class of 15, girl heavy, and it is way easier for him.

Now to the idea that « parenting with screens » could be a cause… one of the few pre-kids principles I hung on to was to limit screen time. No screens ever until he was 2, we never have the tv on in the background, never have given a tablet to a child in a pram or at a restaurant. I kid you not, until they were 7 or so my children believed that the tv couldn’t be turned on until noon (this way they wouldn’t even ask to watch it).

I agree with the PP about the overstimulation at school. For a child with Asperger it is way easier to sit at a desk on your own, always the same one, and to write in your book. Now they sit in circles, change desks often, sit on the carpet, create posters and displays etc. I imagine all these changes were made for children who had learning difficulties / school refusal, but as a side effect it makes things easier for some ND children.

Just move country. Not everywhere is like this. In some countries kids are still respectful and teachers earn more too.