To be annoyed at SIL borrowing our stuff

[BiscoffBanana]

We have a rocky relationship with my husband 's sister, which came to a head 2 years ago, after a long series of minor incidents added up to one big argument. To be fair neither of us handled it well but I ended up on the receiving end of some very abusive messages from both her and her husband. My husband stepped in to support me and then both she and her husband blocked all contact with me and now only have bare minimum contact with my husband (unless they want something).

Anyway- and congrats if you've made it this far!- AIBU to be annoyed that they have asked my husband to borrow our camping gear to go on holiday? I just think if they don't want contact, and refuse to let our kids have a relationship etc etc, why should we lend them our stuff?! Interested to know what you all think....

You don't get to borrow my stuff if you've been rude to me and also then don't talk to me. Hard no.

You also know they either won't return it or it will be damaged. Your husband needs to ignore them on this.

No chance. You'll either get it back damaged or not get it back at all. Piss take.

Absolutely no chance and I'd tell her why. Bloody CF

That would be a no. Cheeky gits.

Definitely not. She abused you to the extent that your DH had to intervene. I think if you loaned the stuff it would come back damaged, if returned at all. She can get her own stuff if she wants to go camping. Bloody cheek.

Thanks for the replies, I'm glad it's not just me who thinks this is cheeky! Husband won't say no because he cba with the drama. Now I have to navigate telling him it's not on 😬

Nope.
“we only do favours for people who are at the very least prepared to be civil to us’ should suffice

I wouldn’t. Do you think you will get it back in the same condition you gave it to them? I don’t and then they will use it as an excuse to restart the arguing

He doesn't need to say no. He just says it's yours and they need to contact you. Job done.

Is this a bit of a power play here on your SILs behalf? Perhaps she's hoping it'll cause dissent between you and your DH, and he'll override your wishes to give her what she wants.

It’s a no from me as from your relationship you can’t trust them to return it/return it in a good condition.

Tell him saying yes will lead to even more drama- collection, return, damage...

Calls while they are away because they can't use it/think it's broken...

least drama comes from saying no.

If you could stash it at a friend's so he could legitimately say he can't find it, would that help? He needs to stand up for you though.

Haven't you lent it to your friend for that month?

I hope you have said no to them borrowing the equipment.

She’d be getting my tent over my cold dead body. CF

I'd tell them to sod off

Ignore their requests.

Absolutely not. There’s no chance your oh will go behind your back and give it to her, is there?

I hope not, I would be furious. Classic family situation of a man who just wants to keep the peace, and a younger sibling who's used to always getting their own way!

Absolutely NO

Crikey - I wouldn't lend me best mate my camping gear. Would she really respect the need to dry the tent completely. It'll come back ruined and you'll be fuming.

Tell her no, tell DP to tell her no, if you think he'll do it anyway do what a PP said and stash it at a friends and don't tell him

You could hide the tent poles just incase DH gives in😀

Haven't you already promised it to a friend? Booked your own trip? Sold it? Lent it to Scouts? Send the cf links to Go Outdoors... Your dh's chance to be a Real Man not a mouse....