Daughter wants to buzz her hair

[Charlotteshin]

My daughter keeps asking to let me buzz her hair. She wants to follow the celebrities that have done it recently and thinks it’s edgy. AIBU go say no?

Def not for you to get involved in at her age. Send her to the barber or she can easily do it herself with some £20 clippers from Argos. Barber however will do the edges so they blend into to her skin. Clippers come with different grades (lengths) from 8 (longest but still pretty short) to zero (bald). Either take a photo to the barber, or if doing yourself then start with a 5 and go shorter if she wants from there. I suspect a 4 or a 3 is what she is best starting with (you can always take more off) but a 2 is def showing skin through stubble. I wonder if there is an app that can show her what it will look like?

I miss having a buzz cut. I kept mine like that for at least 6 months. It was my little lockdown breakdown but it was brilliant 😂

I’d do it again if I wasn’t so fat (haven’t currently got
the bone structure for it)!

There's no way I would do it for DD but I wouldn't stop them going to the hairdresser.

Hair aside, the fact that you feel entitled to "say no" to her choices at almost eighteen is extremely problematic and I'm not being dramatic when I say that if you don't stop infantilising your daughter, you will either develop a weird dynamic that is very unhealthy for her, or she will just distance herself from you. She is a person in her own right. She's not a baby and she's not an extension of you.

I have a mother like this and she cannot understand for the life of her why she has strained relationships with all of her children. It's because she persists in treating us like we are 10.

It's a harmless activity and it gives you a good opportunity to demonstrate that you will always back her decisions. Support her.

I honestly do not know why you wouldn't let her, but I wouldn't make an inexpert attempt myself if there is a hairdresser in the family! I'd much prefer a buzz cut to any of the other, much more permanent body modifications that many 18 yos choose.

Emma Thompson had a shaved head as a radical feminist statement when she was at Cambridge and it hasn't done her any harm.

yabu! she is old enough and it's hair, it will grow back.

At that age my dc didn't consult me about hairstyles or clothed/ make up/ piercings etc. I thought you meant 7 year old.

I had to buzz my hair for a surgery. It took 2 yrs to grow really long again. Hair grows quite fast and there's something really liberating about having a buzz cut, you never have to brush it, for one.

I would love short hair if mine was curly. Left a little longer on the top for the curls. Loved that look in the 80’s.
Probably summer best time as I’m sure your head gets cold.

I’d tell her to arrange for someone else to do it, that way you won’t get the blame if it got wrong!

At 18 she can do what she wants.

However that doesn't stop you from expressing an opinion.

'I think you'll regret it. Don't cry or moan to me about it if you don't like it!'

I’d feel a bit worried about dd doing it and definitely wouldn’t want to do it myself!
by her asking you to do it is she asking you to kind of make that step for her? Or so she just skint!

She's 18, you can't say no. She's an adult. Let her cut her hair off, it'll grow back and some women look amazing with buzz cuts!

I've been doing mine years on number zero; it's stunning and I love it 😊

A word to the wise: get a professional to do it. I remember doing mine in lockdown. It's a skilled job: trust me 😊

her hair, her choice.

I would kill for the bone structure of a buzz cut!

Let her crack on. At least it grows back. I bleached my hair to absolute shit at 18 and it never recovered!

It sounds like this is a fairly impulsive decision and you’re worried about her being upset and regretting it afterwards.

I’d tell her she’s welcome to do what she likes but she needs to arrange and pay for it herself, and not with a family member doing it. That will give her a chance to consider how much she wants to do it, and if she does go through with the buzz it will remove the possibility of her blaming you/her aunt/whoever if she hates it.

I'd let her. I had my hair cut really short at the barbers when I was 19 and it was such a cool look.

I bet she will look cool and if not it grows back!

Not really sure what the question is but it's her head so up to her. If you don't feel confident then she should go to a hairdresser. She might also consider donating her hair somewhere like this https://www.littleprincesses.org.uk/donate-hair

DS is always shaving his head, dying what's left odd colours, etc- the joy of super-short hair is that it's low commitment. If she doesn't like the buzz she can have a short pixie within weeks.

There are 18 year olds getting tattoos, stretched piercings, 'preventative' Botox, fillers, plastic surgery... I think I would mostly be delighted that her rebellious exploration of her bodily autonomy is something as innocuous and temporary as a buzz cut!

Should you let her do it? Yes. She's old enough to choose her haircut.

Should you do it for her? Fuck no, I had some truly good awful buzz cuts from DP during the pandemic, tell her to go to a professional!

Ive shaved my head a few time.
Last time was 16 months ago I'm letting it grow now.
All natural.

I would say no but that's because I can't use a pair of clippers to save my life. If she wanted a lift to the hairdressers however..!

Let her get on with it. Is her hair long enough to donate for wigs?