To wonder if addiction is a choice

[BarbaraAnnee]

I am sorry if this sounds insensitive to some people but I just wondered what people thought of this. A relative of mine is an alcoholic and due to her being unfit, her parents have had to permanently look after her DD. I feel so bad for her and just wondered if she really loved her DD she would just stop drinking?

I'm not addicted to it I use it on and off for medication

Using it in short bursts under medical guidance is "fine" taking it daily for chronic pain very quickly becomes an addiction.

If this is a repeat prescription, don't take it and come tell us how you feel in a few days.

I suppose it is chronic pain but it goes away for a while at a time. They just aren't that addictive to me, yes it can feel nice. I can see if you took it every day for a long time maybe at high doses then it could be hard to stop

Addiction is a compulsive behaviour that’s the problem. The part of the brain that motivates behaviour (the “reward pathway”) somehow gets programmed to demand drugs at all times. If this hasn’t happened to you you’re fine. If it has you’re in big trouble.

It’s not about feeling nice it’s about becoming (accidentally) dependent on them. Both valium and codeine will cause physical dependence if taken every day for over a few weeks at a time.

As a recovering alcoholic I think you’re right. Dsis doesn’t even drink much but with a following wind the wheels could come off very quickly imo.
There’s something in our makeup which makes us very susceptible. Societal pressure and sheer willpower keeps her drinking under control. Without that pressure and willpower I succumbed hard. I’m 15 years sober now but when I’m around her occasionally there’s a bat squeak of recognition- it wouldn’t take much for her to becoming actively and dangerously addicted.

It's a choice. We all go through things and have trauma. The choice to take drugs or pour a liquid down your throat is just that. Optional.

It should not be classed as an illness or disease. It isn't. People do it to themselves. It's an insult to people with actual illnesses, who didn't choose to get them.

And yes, my love for my children would absolutely trump me wanting to feel numb for a bit, or whatever other reasons people make the choice to take something.

As a fellow recovering alcoholic.. I find the use of "will power" an odd thing to say. Do you believe if you'd had more will power you wouldn't be an alcoholic 🤔

Be prepared for your Dad to get very angry and defensive.

Denial is usually the first reaction addicts exhibit. Until they accept that they do indeed have an addiction they cannot be helped.

Said by someone who has clearly never experienced it.
Have you read the thread? You sound like you might benefit from it and see it's just not that easy.
Yes, the first drink might be "a choice."
Read how that can escalate though

It's not a choice, it is an illness. Unfortunately it is often as a result of childhood trauma and can run in the family. People with certain mental health conditions or personality disorders (which are also often trauma related) are more prone to it. Excessive alcohol use changes the physical structure of the brain so that it then feeds the addiction. I would say that, if someone recognised that they were drinking too much at an earlier stage and sought help, then they could be seen as being more in control of their decision making. Unfortunately once you get too far in, it gets a firm grasp of you and takes over. It's a horrible disease. My sister has alcohol misuse syndrome. She is in her 40s and has end stage liver failure. It's hideous.

Willpower is the wrong word. If like me and my sister you don’t black out drink the first time and wake up prepared to lose everything for a drink there is a moment, years even when you have a choice. The point when the ops relative is at though- long past and irrelevant now.

@MisterMagnolia what is “alcohol misuse syndrome”? Is it different to alcoholism?

You've no idea what I've experienced. Yes, I've read the thread. No matter what someone says, it's still a choice to drink alcohol or take drugs in the first place.

Alcohol and drugs are known for being addictive. So if you don't want to become an addict, you don't take them. It's simple. And it really is that simple.

My sympathy is reserved for people with actual illnesses who struggle to get healthcare. Addicts take up so much time and resources and it's appalling. I also have sympathy for their families. Addicts are selfish and destroy lives.

I am glad I did this thread. It has made me analyse my own drinking patterns and I have noticed that it is creeping up. I think it is time to knock it on the head before it gets to a point where I cannot stop. This thread has frightened me, in a good way.

People are judgemental bastards.

A relative has an addiction problem and I judged him at first not because of choosing the substance but not choosing to get help, then they asked for help and we went to so many appointments, diarised everything, went through different programmes but the complete lack of mental health support has made it impossible for the relative to overcome.

Any one who hasn't experienced it probably is ignorant to how little support there is and so they pass judgement because to them it is a choice. They aren't the ones who are ill.

I don't think it's as black and white as that

However, I see lots of men with families addicted to drink and coke. And to be blunt, I just don't think they'd do this if they A. Didn't have someone picking up the load for them and B. Genuinely cared and adored about their child/children. Otherwise they would attempt to change and not start these behaviours in the first place

You sound like you have experience, but not of being one yourself.
I actually agreed with you here No matter what someone says, it's still a choice to drink alcohol or take drugs in the first place
Yes, of course it is.
It can creep up on you though, you could say drink wine every night and then only realise there's a problem when you try to cut it out completely.

So, why didn't my cousin notice that her drinking was creeping up like I have and make the decision to stop?

I think you should try to find out more about effects of trauma, mother taking medication when pregnant and what alcohol and nicotine did to unborn children’s nervous system & fetal alcohol syndrome. Also ineffectual attachment from birth, cortisol levels, learnt behaviour. There is likely to be other addicts in the family. Of course it’s an illness, it’s also a public health emergency.

Because she probably doesn't see it as a problem.
She'll probably enjoy her drinks, knows she's drinking more but "that it's fine"
You've got to see it for yourself, want to change.

and then it just gets to a point of no return?

Is your cousin a genetic carbon copy of you and has had the same experiences and influences as you, and has a cousin who has lost a child to their parent?
If not, that may be why she didn't analyze and react to it all the same as you?

I suppose it is hard with drink as it is just so socially acceptable. I am terrified of ruining my life with addiction it just sounds so horrible.

I was 12 when I started drinking and taking drugs.. Do you really think I had the first clue about addiction when I was 12?
It sounds like you've had to deal with addiction and you are rightly angry about it but maybe just for a second think that other people experience and deal with life, traumas etc differently to you.

If you fully understood what happens to a person who is in active addiction you might have a different perspective..however I wouldn't wish addiction on my worst enemy