To be a bit worried DS’s preschool report is teacher speak for pain in the arse?

[namechangerrrrrrrrrr]

Nothing has been said to me but some things that stand out are

X sometimes needs a little reminder of our preschool routines; however in one to one interaction with an adult he listens carefully to instructions and does his best to carry them out.

X is increasingly able to manage changes in the preschools daily routine and will help at tidy up time with some prompts

He sometimes finds it difficult to resist the temptation to take toys from another child during play but he is beginning to respond well to our gentle reminders and can then show kindness.

I would like to speak to them but they leave promptly at 3 so there is never time. DS is 3 and a half.

Totally agree!

For me, the key is the report states the progress DS is making in these areas.

For a 3 year old his behaviour sounds pretty standard & so long as he is learning to share & behave better ahead of Reception then you're all good.

A pita

Seriously, he’s actually been a lot more compliant of late. We did have a spate of really difficult behaviour: lots of defiance and I can only say rudeness (I don’t expect perfect manners at this age but there is a limit) but he seems to have come through that and most of the time is fairly nice, polite, which we praise, will do as he’s told mostly. He can be possessive over toys and things, and I do reinforce both turn taking and That’s Not Yours but it does seem to have a tendency he has.

This is rubbish. There are no flags here to worry about. Normal behaviour.

The point of preschool is teaching them how to behave in groups. I'm guessing he has another year to go? So plenty of time to learn before school.

Oh is he 😂 .the report just sounds like he needs a bit of reminding and direction which isn't unusual,

For his age, and sharing/taking turns takes time to learn.

Thanks all, I’m so relieved he isn’t That Child although I would have expected this to have been raised before now but I know timings can be tricky.

nothing to worry about here, they probably gave same or similar to 95% of the class -

All 3YOs are a bit of a pain aren’t they?! He sounds like he’s doing great- making progress and listening to his teachers when given gentle reminders. I’d be pretty happy with that report.

It says he's able to listen well 1-1, is adjusting and progressing with group situations and is showing kindness which leans to appropriate social interactions for a 3 year old. Needing prompts but then following what is asked, and occasionally snatching toys are both common and completely normal at 3.

The snatching is the only thing you might want to work on at home, maybe through role play or just talking to him about it when you see him do it.

But I don't think he sounds like That Child.

That Child pushes kids over or bites them.

Well, he has bitten and pushed. Not for a long time though. I think the last biting incident was a month or so before his third birthday but (without wanting to make excuses) he had a nasty ear infection at that time and none of us realised until his ear started dripping.

His biting started around 17/18 months and stopped (mostly) at around 2.

Sounds completely normal.

Put that "pre school" report where it belongs - in the bin.

They have identified areas where he is beginning to show maturity and understanding that his behaviour is sometimes unacceptable. I would tell him how pleased you and his teachers are at how grown up and sensible he is getting.

He sometimes finds it difficult to resist the temptation to take toys from another child during play but he is beginning to respond well to our gentle reminders and can then show kindness.

This is the only one I would be concerned with, as it could be code for.
Your child can't resist snatching toys off other children and while he will sometimes listen to reminders not to do this he will often just do it anyway.

So I would want to speck to them about how you can improve his behaviour in this area. As you wn
Aa you want him to get better at it not worse.

There's a lot of positives in those. Focus on those x

I think it sounds positive. They're telling you what his development areas are but that he responds well to constructive help to improve.

They've got to write these reports. They've got to find something to say. They need to write something down that pinpoints potential areas of improvement, not give unqualified praise, as their business is child development not glorified babysitting - from their perspective.

But writing stuff down makes it all sound more formal and serious - and can stress out parents unnecessarily.

Everybody is caught in the paperwork machine these days. In my opinion, it's all a bit much really!

I would read it as 'x is a little bit immature but things are starting to fall into place'.

They have to show some kind of progression. Remember he has only been on this planet three years. Kids are not robots who all uniformly behave the same. He is doing grand

There's two things to this really, in every report they will write successes and areas of improvement. If these are the only areas of improvement then it is fine.

If these are the positives and then there are areas to improve after this then I would be concerned.

But lastly, you have concerns. Book a meeting. If all else they will put your mind at ease, you can ask them what terminology they use to support your son, such as 'listening ears,' walking feet', etc. Having similar tactics at home and nursery is really supportive and when I had this meeting with nursery and learnt what they did it helped my son so much. I've done the same since starting school as I had concerns and it was invaluable. And I am a teacher and still need to speak to the staff!

@BookArt - they were definitely the negative parts, there were a lot of positives which was nice to read.

If he is 3.5 then he has a whole year before he is going to school right? This report sounds accurate for many kids that age! They are working on next steps with him so his goal will be to follow the routine and his current level is that he can do that with some reminders. In a year's time he will have made leaps of progress and will likely be very school ready!

It sounds like he is responding well to the strategies they use in the nursery, if he was a PITA he wouldn't care when a teacher gently reminds him to tidy up 😜

And don't most 3 year olds find it difficult to resist taking a toy they want sometimes?

He's just learning 🥰

I don't think it's coded. I think they are telling you very specifically what he finds more challenging because things like routine and listening and following instructions and tidying up after yourself and sharing/turn taking/patience with others are things that can be reinforced at home and will help him in the nursery and later in the school setting.