To think most people don't understand baby led weaning

[Londonforestmum]

I hear so often people say they are doing a mixture of baby led weaning and spoon feeding. I'm not saying one is better than the other, but this is 'traditional weaning', which always advised finger food from 6 months as well as purées. It's not doing a bit of both. BLW means you let your child feed themselves all the time. To say you're doing a bit of both is like saying you're a bit of a vegetarian because you eat some plant based foods alongside meat?

BLW also doesn't mean children don't use a spoon, you can use a spoon straight from the start but you just preload it for them and then let them hold it / put it in (or somewhere near lol) their mouths.

I think maybe people feel under pressure to do BLW but don't want to so they say they're doing a bit of it. There is nothing wrong with doing traditional weaning (purées and finger food) though!

Nah, Gill Rapely puts most of her emphasis on not using purées and serving up the same door that the family is eating (being mindful of salt, etc.)

Traditional weaning is starting with purées and mashes and working up to finger foods.

My little boy hasn’t had a spoonful of purée in his life but he does get spoon fed breakfast sometimes. The rest of the time it’s BLW. You can disagree on the ‘bit of both’ terminology but it’s your opinion at the end of the day. What we do doesn’t fit into either definition fully, so ‘bit of both’ is accurate.

I am interested in why it’s so important to you that people use terminology in the way you specify.

I did/do BLW for both of mine cos it suited us but jfc people can be so intense about it! I joined a Facebook group just to get some meal ideas for my first and had to leave because the pressure to have artfully presented nutritious meals on an expensive bamboo plate with all the vegetables cut into cutesy shapes was insane. I feel like nearly every parenting philosophy or method, no matter how reasonable in theory, just ends up being another stick to beat mums with.

Things evolve too. We fed DS purées when starting weaning and fed him with a spoon (shock horror!). But we mainly started with vegetables rather than apple and pear which is what we would have been started with when parents weaned us. Grandparents were intrigued we were giving DS courgettes etc. He had a very varied diet of purées before he moved onto solids.

If parents have a very beige diet, not many fruit or vegetables, fried food, takeaways etc. is BLW the optimum way to wean your baby?

My exact thoughts. Why is being a mother/parent (but I believe it's really mothers) so policed?

It IS mothers. Unfortunately it seems to boil down to ingrained female bitchiness/competitiveness at the end of the day.

I disagree OP. BLW is led by the baby, if you're putting the food on the spoon for them it's not led by them.

We just put food on the tray (usually something we were having) and they used fingers

I agree, it's really horrible.

I had another mum lay into me for (what felt like) the longest time because i did NOT EBF my first as I topped up twice with forumla whilst in NICU and he was losing weight.

At that point I had breastfed for a year and a half and I was answering someone elses question about weaning from the boob at night. The person I was talking to asked if he took bottles and I said no, just boobs, wouldn't take a bottle blah blah blah.

The way this parent latched on as if I was the world worst person, AND a liar was absolutely insane.

I stopped going to the playgroup for a while because of her.

Phew, that happened 7 years ago and os clearly still a sore subject for me! Sorry to trauma dump 😅

@theeyeofdoe what’s the difference between a spoon and the tray. Are you not allowed to put it in a plate or dish either? Will the baby never eat properly again if you put it in a spoon? Do you think the person who wrote the book expected parents to be so regimented when doing BLW?

If the OP talks about BLW in real life like she does here I wonder if people tell her they're doing a mix or BLW when they're 'officially' not just to wind her up.

My eldest is now in sixth form. We were among the 'original' BLWers, before there was even a book. I spent hours on end on a forum discussing the ins and outs. There was very little I didn't know about BLW.

I probably would've agreed with OP back then. I've since had two more kids and life has rolled on and I think I was a bit mad back then really, like people often are when in the trenches with tiny kids.

So, I say this kindly and with understanding that it can feel like this stuff really matters in the moment... but it doesn't really. 17 years later I can't remember why I cared so much.

I think it's mothers because at six months most women are still on maternity. It's one of the bigger milestones of the first year, and one everyone goes through so it's easy conversation at baby groups. Not to mention something to latch on to for those who are anxious or missing the intellectual challenge of work.

Yet another stick to beat women with.
Most won't give a shit but I can guarantee twattish people akin to the OP will make vulnerable mums feel shitty.
As someone who failed to BF my eldest and had crippling PND it would have been the sort of nonsense I would have fixated on had it been invented back then.
Like I said, bollocks for people with too much time (and money) on their hands

Yes, it's not against purées as such, things like soups / spreads / sauces are basically purées

I never put that much thought into it other than reading the short book, and doing a first aid course, then just cracked on and spent way less time analysing everything/making separate food etc than friends who did spoon feeding.

It just doesn't make any sense to say you're doing a bit of both (and people who say this aren't talking about the once a week when child is at grandparents btw which is obviously a bit different).

There was traditional weaning which was finger foods and spoon feeding. Then the BLW method/book came along to suggest a different way of doing things. If you're doing a combination of finger foods and spoon feeding it's just weaning. No judgement on that (although I personally found BLW very stress free and enjoyable, and would do the same next time), but am not under any illusion that it effects a child beyond the weaning stage!

Friends who puréed / spoonfed seemed to put much more thought into it (got to be single veg first, then fruit, then mixed veg, making little ice cubes of purée faff)

Putting stuff on the spoon then putting the spoon on the plate for them to pick up or not as they wish is not really leading them anymore than putting stuff on the plate though. Also just because it's called BLW doesn't mean everything has to literally be led by the baby. It's a name for a specific method (which does advise preloading spoons btw)

This is the thing though, people seem to feel like it's something they 'should do', whereas actually it's just a much easier way!

This is such a non issue.

The fact you've gotten yourself worked up about it - I think you need to think about something non baby related for a while!!

Nope. I tried blw and it didn't work. So it might be easier for you but not all.

Is holding it in front of their mouth, and they choose whether or not to open their mouth and taste it any different really from having it on a loaded spoon, save for it requiring better aim/motor skills?

You could say that holding it near their mouth is more BLW friendly if we are being pedantic about it, as it depends more on the desire of the child, than their motor skills. What if a baby wants the loaded spoon but can't pick it up, or repeatedly smashes it at their forehead. They want to try it but are physically unable.

My baby likes to peel stickers off of her toys and eat them. Does that count as baby led weaning? 🤔

They get there surprisingly quickly and it's all good practice.

What do you mean by didn't work?

YANBU not sure why you're getting such a hard time about it. It's annoying when people say they are doing "a mix" of purees and BLW. No you aren't, love, you're just plain not doing BLW in that case. Crack on all you like just don't call it a bit of both, it's simply incorrect.

Don't be ridiculous- they should be growing the food if at all possible, not buying it!

Actually, "mixing it up" is intuitive weaning and it's been really good for lots of children. It simply means you adapt whichever route you take for your own children and don't follow either militantly.