To find these comments hurtful?

[strungouteyes]

I have a deathly hallows tattoo I got long before JKR became known as a transphobe.

I am in no way transphobic.

Someone I have to work with has made comments a couple of times now. The first time, they just said that loads of people are getting that covered up now, and I brushed it off saying "oh, that seems a bit extreme" or something and that was that.

I thought that would be the end of it, but a few weeks later they've brought it up again, saying it's the most blacked out tattoo ever. I was a bit fed up and said "it's not as if it's a swastika" and they said "it pretty much is".

AIBU to be upset about this still being discussed? They are entitled to their opinion but it's not exactly something I can change overnight, I can't afford to get a cover-up, and now I'm mortified that everyone thinks I'm a bigot / basically a nazi apparently. I could possibly get some make-up to cover it while I save up if it's genuinely disgustingly offensive to people?

I do generally get on well with this person, it's just this one thing that's been not so good.

Tell them to fuck off.
Jkr is not a transphobe and they sre talking shit.

Say "please stop commenting on my body" every time.

They are being incredibly rude.

It's nothing to do with them. It is nothing like having a swastika as a tattoo.

Your tattoo is an homage to the book, not the author. Don't feel you have to cover your tattoo just because some people take issue with the author.

On the off chance that this is genuine and I very much doubt it - have you actually ever read anything that JK Rowling has written or taken the time to find out about the charitable trusts she has founded for women and children?

Thought not.

Reply with “Plenty of women adore JK”

I’m going to assume this is deliberately goady, and guess that the tattoo is imaginary.

Ask them to explain why JKR is a transphobe. With specifics.

Ignore the rude comments. Funny how the woke brigade are happy to criticise you for “phobic” behaviour but don’t recognise their own contribution to judging any and everyone with a different opinion to theirs.

I think this is all made up for mumsnet.

Standing up the the rights of women is what this site is about.

Who cares what this ignorant twat thinks? They are a coworker, nothing more. Tell them very clearly to stop talking about your body or you will have no choice but to report them for bullying, because that's exactly what they are doing.

JKR is not transphobic and your colleague is being very inappropriate.
You need to tell them to fuck off and mind their own business.

Don't cover up your tattoo or get it removed because of the comments of one idiot.

It is genuine...? It's the other persons opinion, not mine? I'm just concerned that her belief may be more widespread than I realised. I don't want to have a weird political debate about a tattoo with a colleague?

It's honestly not. The last comment was only yesterday, and I've been in tears today thinking of contacting a tattoo artist about a cover up.

Really not, I'm surprised so many think so. Although pleased in a way, because it suggests she is the one with the oddball opinion.

I also have social anxiety and freeze up... then become very annoyed later when I think of better comebacks. At the same time, don't really want to get into a mad political discussion with a co-worker.

Thank you... funnily enough the same person has made comments about religion before and I considered it at that point, but wasn't sure if I was just being "too sensitive".

YANBU not to cover up the tattoo.

YABU to suggest that JKR is a transphobe. Nothing she has said is transphobic.

Thank you, I really appreciate this.

I have worded it poorly. "got a reputation as" more than IS. I'm actually glad to see that seems to be the opinion of the vocal minority.

I have worded it poorly. "got a reputation as" more than IS. I'm actually glad to see that seems to be the opinion of the vocal minority.

I mean… you can love the books and not agree with the author or their ideology.
I’m sure the same people enjoy many of the classics too… you know, the ones filled with blatant racism, sexism and homophobia. It is what it is and things are of their time. You got your tattoo for your love of the book. That’s nothing to be ashamed of.

I honestly think that some people are so insecure about their own beliefs, that they need to voice them out loudly in front of colleagues / their social circle, or have arguments about it, in order to feel stronger in their own opinions.

I mainly work in a team of about 150 people and I can say with certainty that only 1 person knows the religion I belong to, my thoughts on JKR, abortion, feminism, or any such controversial topic.

Why? Because I’m confident enough in my own beliefs that I don’t need others’ validation, or for people to see me fighting for the “correct” sides of the social justice equation.

Your colleague sounds insecure. Don’t doubt your own beliefs just because hers are currently trendy. They won’t last.

I think you might have a point here. The same person has been very vocal (inappropriately so) about religion as well. It screams "look at me!"

Don't contact a tattoo artist, contact a therapist so you can work through why one irrelevant work colleague's opinion of you is causing you this much internal strife, because that's not normal. It shouldn't matter at all.

I appreciate that - I have clinical social anxiety, so there is an explanation, which I am under treatment for. Sometimes I just need someone outside my own heads voice to confirm "yes that is ridiculous".

I'm glad you're getting the help you need. Just keep reminding yourself that he/she's basically an NPC in your life and their opinion of a piece of art you've chosen to have on your body doesn't matter at all. Especially as they're smooth brained enough to equate the bloody deathly hallows symbol with a swastika as if JK is out here opening death camps.