To find these comments hurtful?

[strungouteyes]

I have a deathly hallows tattoo I got long before JKR became known as a transphobe.

I am in no way transphobic.

Someone I have to work with has made comments a couple of times now. The first time, they just said that loads of people are getting that covered up now, and I brushed it off saying "oh, that seems a bit extreme" or something and that was that.

I thought that would be the end of it, but a few weeks later they've brought it up again, saying it's the most blacked out tattoo ever. I was a bit fed up and said "it's not as if it's a swastika" and they said "it pretty much is".

AIBU to be upset about this still being discussed? They are entitled to their opinion but it's not exactly something I can change overnight, I can't afford to get a cover-up, and now I'm mortified that everyone thinks I'm a bigot / basically a nazi apparently. I could possibly get some make-up to cover it while I save up if it's genuinely disgustingly offensive to people?

I do generally get on well with this person, it's just this one thing that's been not so good.

Okay, that actually made me laugh - yes, of course you're right! What a daft woman!

"it's not as if it's a swastika" and they said "it pretty much is".

This is so bloody offensive! Your colleague doesn’t know her arse from her elbow. JKR cares about women and their rights to safety and protection. Pretty sure Nazis were occupied with doing the opposite of that 🤔. If he or she says it again, ask her to explain her comparison, sit back and watch her tie herself in knots!

I’m guessing as you are calling your colleague ‘they’, you possibly don’t want to cause offence by challenging?

I'm usually in opposition to the "GC" voices on here, but I'm also a big fan of the Harry Potter books and can separate the artist from the art so to speak.
They're being utterly ridiculous, just because you have a tattoo of a Harry Potter quote or symbol like the Hallows from ages ago doesn't mean you automatically agree with her or have to immediately stop liking your favourite books /films.
Ignore them

No, no, she's a she, not trans, just my own vague wording.

That's a good idea, just asking "how so?" and sitting back rather than engaging.

Yes, this

As. If.

@strungouteyes That person is not just a fuckwit, they’re revoltingly offensive. A swastika is a symbol of hatred and genocide. To equate your harmless tattoo to that is beyond so-stupid-it-hurts; it’s denigrating to those who suffered and still suffer through the actions of antisemitic aggression.

JKR is not transphobic in the slightest. She is a heroine. She’s the right side of history. If I saw your tattoo I’d think it was great, plus happily assume you weren’t a cowed and brow-beaten follower desperate to avoid being cancelled, you were someone who knew their own mind. Respect!

Thank you!

I saw your tattoo I’d think it was great, plus happily assume you weren’t a cowed and brow-beaten follower desperate to avoid being cancelled, you were someone who knew their own mind
People can still know their own mind and not automatically agree with her you know 🙄
Doesn't mean they're brow beaten, desperate, cowed
This is the problem OP, she polarises people into extremes whether it's your co worker or people like this who go sycophantic and into extremes the other way.
Enjoy your Harry Potter tattoo, it symbolises a book series you love

Does your colleague try to put you down in other ways? Because most people would be polite and not say anything regardless of their opinion. It's like they want you to feel bad.

Just assure her that you will never try to dictate to her how she chooses to express her own personal beliefs or interests in life (unless illegal and/or inciting hatred or violence - which would actually quite reasonably include her antisemitic comments and trivialising the actions of the Nazis, to be fair); and you are sure that she is capable of the most basic level of respect which will allow her to pay you that same simple courtesy too.

I cannot believe that she is seeking to coerce you to make a major alteration to your body, so that it aligns with her personal beliefs. She is most clearly not a proponent of tolerance and inclusion. Maybe also ask her if she knows what the words 'controlling', 'bullying' and 'gaslighting' mean.

Thank you so much for this. I feel like she is one of these people who is so "woke" she thinks she's so very tolerant and inclusive and open-minded, when in fact its only if you align with her world view. She has made similar offhand comments about religion in the past. God knows why I was seeking approval - this thread has been extremely validating!

Yes actually now I think about it, from offhand comments about religion to small things like judgy comments about music tastes.

That person is a busybody, rude, and an extremist. I would state that I do not wish to discuss it further and will not entertain further conversation on the topic. If it's brought up again after that, you can consider it workplace harassment and contact HR.

It's absolutely ludicrous to claim it's the same as a swastika. What an unhinged weirdo. Perhaps you can ask to be placed somewhere where you don't have to deal with this fanatic?

I have a deathly hallows tattoo but not on show (between my boobs)
But I also have a Dark Mark tattoo on my lower left arm. When DD was in primary school (year 5 & 6) a couple of kids were fascinated and as a result their parents approached me to talk about it (only ever positively).
I’m heavily tattooed so I'd be telling anyone who didn’t like one of mine to fuck off if they commented. It's my skin. It's not offensive. I chose them and my reasons are my own.
Get her told.

JKR is not a transphobe

I'd love to know which religion she's disparaging and her tastes in music! She's being shockingly rude, and hoiking her judgy knickers high. If she carries on report her for bullying, which this is.

(I must confess to being a JK Rowling fan girl, but I'm also an Amy Lee fan girl, and I have the sneaky suspicion they wouldn't agree on many things. I'm not going to stop listening to my favourite band because I don't think I'd agree with the lead singer about certain issues.)